


Guilt, Plain And Simple

by youdont_say



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Crying, First Fic!, Fluff, Future Foundation (Dangan Ronpa), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Naegami, Pining, Post-Game(s), Realization, Repressed Feelings, Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, mutual confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 64,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youdont_say/pseuds/youdont_say
Summary: Byakuya began to make his way out of the Future Foundation office building and finds Makoto Naegi crying is office. He figured it’d be best to see what was wrong. Togami just didn’t like seeing his coworker upset was all. No need for second thoughts.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 156
Kudos: 334





	1. Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first fic on here, i haven’t written in a while. i’m pretty rusty but i has fun writing this!!

Byakuya listened to the sound of his dress shoes on the tile floor echo through the office hallway. It was the only thing filling the silence throughout the building, everyone else had clocked out a few hours prior. Byakuya peered into the dark, empty offices of his coworkers as he made his way through the building. 

Him and the rest of the survivors from the killing game had been working with the Future Foundation for almost a year by that point. You wouldn’t think trying to restore the world after an apocalypse would be summed up to an office job. Yet somehow, there was always some kind of tedious tasks that needed to be completed before anything could be fixed. Naturally, Byakuya mostly worked with finances and wealth distribution. The former heir, now head of the Togami family had access to an abundance of wealth to aid the Future Foundation. However when working with money, you need to dot every ‘I’, and cross every ‘T’. This caused Byakuya to usually stay a few hours later than most of his coworkers every night. It’s not as if he minded, it wasn’t much trouble anyhow. As the elevator came within view, the tired man began to loosen his tie. As he walked past an office closer to the elevator, Byakuya’s footsteps were no longer the only thing he could hear.

The former heir stopped dead in his tracks, determined to find the source of the noise he’d been hearing. He was the only one who stayed in the office this late after all. Byakuya glanced at the name plate on the door in front of him. The accountant raised a brow. This was Makoto’s office. A curious Byakuya peered through a crack in the door, and was met with a dimly lit computer screen and a sniffling, exhausted looking Makoto.

The brunette had his hands over his face, and was trembling. His sniffles weren’t exactly loud, but they stuck out in the nearly silent building. A soft whine escaped Makoto’s lips as he began to rub his face. Byakuya couldn’t take his eyes off the smaller man. Makoto was crying. He was sitting in alone in his office, shaking from the sobs that ripped through his poor body. Byakuya couldn’t help but feel bad, but shock certainly was the first thing that crossed his mind. The blond couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

“Makoto?” He called, opening the door to make himself visible.

This seemed to startle Makoto, as he shot up from out of his chair. “Byakuya!” He started, quickly wiping the tears from his face. Byakuya watched as the smaller man scurried around the room, trying to gather all of his things.

“Makoto what are you doing, it’s late.” The blond stated bluntly, opening the door all of the way. He must’ve looked intimidating standing like that, the blinding light of the hallway casting a shadow around his tall figure. 

As the former lucky student continued to gather his things, the tears rolling down his cheeks never halted. Byakuya noticed they hadn’t stopped despite him being in the room. “Ah, I was just finishing up some stuff that needed to be done.” Makoto assured him, voice cracking.

“Needed to be done?” Byakuya crossed his arms. The blond wasn’t planning on leaving without a straight answer. “All of your deadlines have been met. On top of that, they were all met early.” The former heir thought surely he had cornered him. That his coworker would tell him what was on his mind, and they could both go home. Right, he just wanted him and his coworker to clock out and get home after a work day. 

Much to Byakuya’s dismay, the latter wouldn’t budge. “I picked up on some extra stuff that needed to be done, you know like Ishimaru would!” Makoto choked out, grabbing his briefcase. 

Byakuya hadn’t heard that name since they had escaped Hope’s Peak. Memories of Mondo’s trial flashed through the blond’s head. He could almost hear the prefect begging Monokuma not to kill friend. The hall monitor crying out as the first person he ever felt he could trust was ripped away from him. The thought was unsettling, it almost gave Byakuya chills. At least Ishimaru didn’t have to grieve for his dead friend for very long. His story was tragic, and the entire situation was enough to make anyone fall to their knees. 

The accountant’s attention was turned back to Makoto, who was slowly walking toward him. The brunette wouldn’t mention something like this out of the blue, the two had barely spoken about any of the victims or the blackened since they needed to. Byakuya knew better than to let someone he cared about walk away after dropping a giant bomb like that.

“Stop.” 

The latter stopped dead in front of Byakuya. Makoto wouldn’t look at him, let alone speak. To call the silence between them deafening would be an understatement. Byakuya swore he could hear his heartbeat over the buzz of the fluorescent lights in the hallway just behind him. Crying wasn’t ever something Byakuya needed to deal with. Neither of them had shed a single tear during the game, not that the blond knew about anyway. There was no dramatic breakdown, no sobbing, and most certainly no comfort. They had just moved on. 

Byakuya glanced down at the smaller man, who still refused to look at him. The brunette’s hands were balled into fists, and his hair was covering any sort expression on his face. It was like the entire world had stopped. There was no footsteps, no chatter by the water machines, and no phones ringing. The blond was at a loss for words, and he was fully convinced Makoto wasn’t able to from proper sentences at this point. He couldn’t just leave him there. It was wrong. Something was up, and the former heir wanted to help. He wondered if his old self would curse him, but the accountant hesitantly raised his hand. Much to his own surprise, he placed it gently on Makoto’s shoulder. 

Byakuya could feel the atmosphere around them shatter as Makoto reached both of his arms forward, and yanked Byakuya into a tight hug. The shorter man sobbed into his chest before he could even process what was going on. The accountant’s arms were hitched up to his sides, not wanting to set Makoto off any more. The latter was literally crying into his shirt, and Byakuya was just standing there. The blond slowly and unsurely lowered his arms, and let them rest at his sides. Should he hug Makoto back? He had never comforted someone before. Whenever Byakuya cried it was incredibly rare, and in complete isolation. No one had ever said anything to make him feel better. 

As Makoto’s sobs became more intense, so did the tightness of the hug. Byakuya could’ve sworn that the brunette was squeezing the life out of him. He felt bad for just standing there. In an attempt to make the former lucky student more comfortable, he placed a gentle hand on his head. Byakuya couldn’t help but stifle a grin at the ahoge that refused to flatten. It was so pointy, one of the most prominent things about him. The blond subconsciously started to play with the shorter man’s hair, stroking the unkept flyaways. 

As the brunette’s sobs became less intense, Byakuya placed a stiff hand on Makoto’s back. As the former heir started to rub his hand up the latter’s back, Makoto moved his head away from Byakuya’s chest.

“There’s no point in lying to me.” The blond mentioned gently. Byakuya continued to rub the smaller man’s back as he released the former heir from his death grip. Makoto giggled at the comment, sniffling as he wiped away a few tears. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Byakuya cocked his head towards the couch in Makoto’s office after offering to listen. The brunette nodded as they both made their way to the modern looking sofa.

“I’m just, thinking about them is all.” Makoto mumbled, smile not leaving his face. The blond wondered how Makoto could keep that signature grin through just about anything. It was his favourite part about his coworker, his smile always gave him hope, even if it was minimal. “Is that all?” Byakuya questioned, placing his hand back on Makoto’s shoulder.

“No..” the brunette admitted, leaning into Byakuya’s hand. As Makoto slumped over, the accountant slipped his arm around his shoulder. Just to make him feel safe, that was all. “We’re here. Recovered and fine. They all had so much hope, everyone was determined to escape.” Makoto started, sighing as he let himself go limp against Byakuya. 

“It’s not fair I guess,” the smaller man pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Here we are getting to move on, but they’re gone. They didn’t get to heal. They didn’t get to come to terms with what happened. They suffered. They died so we could leave. I couldn’t save them.” 

Byakuya began to understand what was affecting Makoto. The blond wasn’t sure why survivors guilt hadn’t crossed his mind before. Makoto was the key point in every single trial, convicting the blackened without fail. Did he really think he was responsible for the death of the other students? 

“I’m at fault. I was selfish. If I had just focused on everyone else instead of myself, maybe everyone would’ve lived.” Makoto admitted, squeezing the fabric on his pants. 

Byakuya moved backwards, causing Makoto to sit up and look at him. 

“Makoto, that’s stupid.” The former heir blurted out, frown setting into his face.

Makoto’s eyes went as wide as saucers, and his mouth fell open. Byakuya meant what he said, although he might not have said it in the best way. The shorter man sat there, silently. Byakuya presumed he was waiting for an explanation.

“Selfish? You did nothing but put others before yourself. You were constantly going on about hope, and tried to inspire everyone to find a way out. Well, tried is a large understatement.” The blond began, pushing his glasses further up his face.

“You threw your own life to the side in that trial to protect Kirigiri, did you not?” Byakuya raised his eyebrows in question. Makoto remained silent, jaw still dropped.

“Your entire goal from the start was to get your classmates out of the killing game. The classmates you barely knew, before we got our memories back anyway. You jumped to everyone’s defence, and considered every option before coming to a conclusion. You never gave up on your classmates, even when all of them suspected you to be the blackened. And if I recall correctly, that happened on two different occasions.” The accountant continued, wanting to get his point across.

“Naegi, you are the farthest thing from selfish. It’s because of you myself and the other survivors are alive.” Byakuya sighed, looking back at Makoto. His expression was slightly less surprised, he almost looked determined. It was reminiscent of what Byakuya had seen from him in the class trails. 

The brunette seemed to come to his senses slightly, scratching his head. “I um-“ Makoto started, turning his head away from the blonde. As if on cue, Byakuya reached his hand out to shorter man, and turned his cheek to face the accountant once more.

“Don’t think I’m making this up. I’m eternally grateful to you for all that you’ve done. That and I’ve grown to quite enjoy your company.” That was out of turn. Regardless, the former heir kept his hand on the latter’s face to ensure he didn’t try to look away again. 

“Byakuya,” Makoto started, his eyes widening again. Byakuya decided to not cut him off this time.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” The brunette apologized, signature grin returning to his face. Makoto lifted his hand to join Byakuya’s. He pressed the accountant’s hand gently into his face. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys! I guess it’s only natural to get in your head.” The former lucky student mentioned, sighing as he squeezed Byakuya’s hand.

This sent shivers through the former heir’s body. Makoto’s gentle squeeze was electric. Byakuya kept his composure, clearing his throat to cover any odd movements he may have made. 

“Do you feel better?” The blond tried to sound as monotone as possible, slowly removing his hand from the shorter man’s face. Makoto nodded with a smile, steadily getting back onto his feet. “Thank you.” The brunette sighed once more.

“There’s no need to thank me Naegi, I meant what I said.” Byakuya was almost smiling. Almost. As the former heir followed suit, the both of them stretched a little before making their way out of the office. 

The chatter almost immediately went back to normal, the two of them had a pleasant conversation while making their way out of the office. Maybe Byakuya would ask him to come back to his place one night, just to talk. He more than just enjoyed Makoto‘s company, he missed it when the brunette wasn’t around. He’d address that later, Byakuya was just glad Makoto was out of his slump.


	2. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya can’t push the thoughts he’s been having to the side for much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of the support! i wrote this chapter mainly about Byakuya and his own thoughts, but there will definitely be some pining and fluff in the next chapter! 🥺💞

Fatigue. It wasn’t exactly foreign or new, but that didn’t make it any less taxing. Togami had a perfectly valid excuse for feeling tired all the time, he was quite literally trying to restore the world. Countless hours hunched over a desk, staring at a dimly lit screen. If the desk job similar to watching paint dry wasn’t enough, there was also the occasional mission. 

Jumping from tapping away at a calculator, to shooting hundreds of monokuma robots wasn’t exactly a healthy change of pace. The excruciating physical pain that came with pushing himself well past his limit was also paired with being forced to face more of Junko’s lackeys. Seeing what caused the most traumatic event in Byakuya’s life on a bi-monthly basis wasn’t doing him much good. Everyone was tired, it’s not like Togami was the only one. As the blond neared the living quarters just across from the office building, he let out a breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding in. 

The building Togami and the other survivors had been calling home for the past year resembled a school. Long corridors with several rooms stripped along the sides. A large cafeteria smack in the middle, and communal washrooms in each wing. There were individual bathrooms in each of the rooms of course, however the water pressure in the shared washrooms were always better. It was a hindrance to have to wait in line to shower, almost always packed with painfully awkward small talk as Byakuya waited. This never happened when Makoto was waiting in line with him. Conversation never felt like a chore with Naegi. All of their interactions came so naturally. Talking to the brunette was like a breath of fresh air. 

The conversation the two of them had while leaving the office was comfortable, pleasant even. Makoto always insisted on taking the back route to the living quarters. It wasn’t exactly scenic quite yet, but it was much better than looking at the debris and rubble left over from various botched helicopter landings in front of the building. Some nature had finally started to restore itself in the back route. Togami hadn’t seen it yet, he thought maybe he should follow Naegi along the path one day. Byakuya just wanted to see the trees finally starting to grow, that was all. 

There was always some sort of excuse, wasn’t there? Byakuya was far from admitting anything to himself, but the poor guy was constantly wrecked by this odd feeling in his stomach whenever he was around the brunette. 

As Togami reached the front doors, he scanned his ID card with an exasperated sigh. When the scanner shifted to green and gave an affirmative beep, the blond pushed the doors open. Byakuya was greeted by the dim grey atmosphere of the corridor. It wasn’t exactly eerie at night, but welcoming the living quarters were not. Byakuya wondered if Makoto had made it back okay. The former heir was certainly working on being more in touch with his emotions, but considerate was a push. He began to worry if the latter was eating enough, getting enough rest or even just taking care of himself. Byakuya Togami never had to consider anyone but himself his entire life. If someone didn’t like his way of doing things, that was their problem. The blond knew it wasn’t a setback to be honest with his emotions, yet he’s started to think about other’s as well. Makoto being other. 

Byakuya heard the familiar echo of his footsteps through the hallway as he made his way toward the wing the survivors slept in. The same echo he’d listened to in the office. Followed by Makoto’s crying. Togami felt a twinge of worry in his stomach, the ultimate hope was now affecting him physically. He was sure Makoto made it back safe. If there was some sort of ambush, the corridor would be glowing a violent red followed by the ear piercing sound of the Future Foundation’s security system. Since when had he worried about the safety of others when there was nothing to worry about? Togami simply just expected everyone to show up to breakfast, there wasn’t anything more to it. 

Except there was. There was more to it. There was so much to be said, but Byakuya would never be able to find the words. 

How on earth was the blond supposed to explain that his stomach did cartwheels when Makoto shot him that trademark smile? The smile that pulled him out of a bad place so many times. The smile that was strong enough to give everyone hope, no matter the circumstances. 

Byakuya had constantly found himself tossing and turning, unable to get the thought of the brunette out of his head. He wanted to push it away, truthfully. It would’ve been so easy to push it away. All of the emotions that had been building up, and worries he had for Makoto. The feeling of triumph when Nagei received his promotion, as if it had been him. The overwhelming guilt that consumed him when the brunette opened up to him that night, like he was responsible for his pain. When Togami has reached his wing, he turned toward the door to his place. First door on the left. The blond remembered being directed to his room for the first time after they had escaped the game and been rescued by the Future Foundation. 

As Byakuya turned his key, Makoto had popped into his mind once again. Should he have been back by now? The back route didn’t take much longer to follow, did it? The blond pushed his thoughts to the side and unlocked the door to his room. You’d never expect the place to be Byakuya’s, it was certainly humble. ‘Rustic chic’ as Togami liked to say. The red tint of the furniture looked homely, warm almost. The former heir closed the door behind him, then proceeded to lock it. There wasn’t much of a need to lock his door anymore, he’d always shrugged it off as an old habit. It had been a long day, and Togami’s bed looked more comfortable than usual. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep like the dead. Nothing sounded better. 

Yet somehow, the blond ended up sitting by the small wooden table in the corner of his room. Why? He was clearly exhausted, and he wanted to sleep. 

Togami realized the subtle anxiety about Naegi not making it home safe had worsened within the span of about three minutes. Makoto was probably fine. Sleeping soundly in his room, blanket up to his nose. The blond’s hand drifted to the pocket of his blazer, he’d call the brunette and go straight to bed. It’s only natural to worry about your coworkers in this climate. Attacks weren’t uncommon and he just didn’t want anyone to be harmed, right? No. The blond realized he’d contradicted himself. 

Byakuya winced as the vibrant screen lit up everything within a 5ft radius. Why did Makoto always insist on everyone having their brightness all the way up? Dork. Byakuya was grateful his wallpaper was a plain black screen, anything else and he would have went blind. His hands were trembling slightly as he pressed the call button. Togami’s leg began to bounce uncontrollably as the ring began to play. The silences between rings felt like an eternity. All Byakuya wanted to do was sleep. It was a bad idea. 

“Hello?”

Byakuya stood up almost immediately. Why didn’t he just text him? Despite his thoughts, an intense wave of relief washed over the blond. Makoto was talking to him. He heard his voice. That’s all Togami needed.

“Neagi,” the former heir cleared his throat.

“I wanted to make sure you made it home safely.” 

“Oh! Sure, I’m just getting in the doors now.”

“Wait, did you just call it home?” 

Byakuya froze. He hadn’t even skipped a beat. He had called their living quarters home without a second thought. He had been doing that a lot lately, trying not to give things excess thought. The blond couldn’t help it. He was an analyst by nature. Home. What did that even mean? There was no point in overthinking.

“Would that be wrong? We’ve been sleeping here for nearly a year.”

“Not at all.”

The former heir could feel Naegi smiling through the phone. It certainly didn’t feel like home when he was by himself. Alone he felt empty, tired. With Makoto he felt alive, and so free. Freedom is definitely an unfamiliar feeling. Byakuya had been in confinement for as long as he could remember. Never daring to stray from his so called destiny. Togami fought tooth and nail for his name, he figured he should feel on top. Yet he always felt trapped. Trapped to this one set path that he had absolutely no other say in. He felt the exact opposite with Makoto. 

With the former lucky student, Byakuya could do whatever he wanted. Truly speak his mind, no matter how cynical he sounded. Naegi had welcomed Byakuya’s thoughts with open arms and always gave him a different perspective. Usually positive, it inspired the blond. Togami couldn’t figure out what that all meant. There was no point in lying to himself, Byakuya Togami was a lot of things, but a hypocrite definitely wasn’t one of them. He just liked how he felt with Makoto.

But it never just stopped there.

“You know what, I think you’re right,” 

Byakuya wasn’t exactly an optimist, but Naegi’s hopeful view on things was comforting. Maybe a little wishful thinking wasn’t always awful.

“You don’t say.”

“Oh shut up.” 

Togami smiled. A genuine grin crossed his lips. His smile only widened as he heard Naegi’s giggle through the phone. The blond expected the butterflies in his stomach to appear, but they were more intense than usual. The two of them shared a comfortable silence as Makoto’s laugh died down.

“Thank you.”

Byakuya Togami was never at a loss for words. And he wasn’t about to pick up the habit.

“Always. Please come to me if you feel like this again.” 

“Or even if you don’t.”

On the contrary of not being able to speak, the blond couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

“You can come to me anytime. I enjoy your company Makoto.” 

Byakuya wanted to slam his head against the table. His wall was cracking. It was bound to fall at some point, but not yet. He’s wasn’t ready. 

“I’ve actually been meaning to tell you the same thing!” 

Togami’s emotions were enough to deal with, but we wanted to hear about Makoto’s too. He wanted to be the other man’s rock, the one he could go to for anything. He cared about his coworker. 

However, he knew the term ‘coworker’ was a safe haven he could hide in. No one bats an eye at a coworker. But Byakuya was certainly worked up about Makoto, who was most certainly not just his coworker.

“This might be a bit of a reach, but can you take the back route home with me after work tomorrow? It’s beautiful, there’s this giant oak tree growing near the coffeehouse!” 

“I’d love to accompany you.”

The answer came out before Togami could think. He was going to say yes either way, but the blond worried he sounded desperate. 

“Alright! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yes, goodnight Naegi.”

As Byakuya heard the line go silent, he caught himself smiling. That same, dopey smile he’d flashed when he heard Makoto laughing. Togami couldn’t help but feel he was in too deep, but too deep in what? There was nothing of concern. Yet.

As the blonde gently tossed his phone on the wooden table, he watched it wobble before smacking down completely. Byakuya figured he should head to bed, a long night of thinking about Makoto Naegi was ahead of him. It was almost a routine at this point. First their greetings, their conversations, what Makoto had to say, then his smile. The past couple of nights however, the accountant’s mind had drifted to Naegi’s other features. Ranging from simple things like the shorter man’s hair, to the way he treated others. 

Makoto radiated warmth. Togami definitely felt that warmth when the two of them were together, but he wasn’t totally sure what it meant. Probably no connection. At least not a connection Byakuya was ready to make just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t really have a set schedule for updates, but i’ve been writing a lot more often lately! i’ll update as soon as i can :)


	3. Banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya is in constant confusion about his feelings. Togami knows he’s feeling them, but he has no idea what they mean. The blond doesn’t think he’ll know anytime soon, but maybe that’s okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i hope it’s okay that this chapter was a little longer. i got kind of carried away, but i really like how this turned out!

Byakuya woke with a start to the sound of his 7:00 am alarm. The blond cursed himself for turning his volume all the way up before going to sleep. His phone was violently shaking from how loud the alarm was. As the tired accountant stretched his hand toward the night table, the phone slipped onto the floor. Perfect. The wretched sound was now making the floor shake slightly. Togami slammed his face directly into his pillow. This was the last thing he needed. 

The frustrated man mumbled incoherent curses under his breath before propping himself up. Togami’s most certainly didn’t snooze. As he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, the sound of the alarm seemed to become more tolerable. The loud ringing had become like white noise. Byakuya reached for his shaking phone and angrily pushed the button to turn the alarm off. The blond pinched the bridge of his nose before reaching for his glasses. When he placed them gently on his face, everything came into view. Literally.

The accountant turned his phone on to check the time, and was met with a notification. 7:03, there was enough time to check his messages. Togami unlocked his phone with a yawn to see who the notification was from. Byakuya had turned the ability to see who his messages are from off in setting on his lockscreen. It was no one’s business. The blond’s heart skipped a beat as the name “Makoto Naegi” greeted him at the top of his messages. Was this from last night? The former heir pressed on the notification.

“Goodmorning! I wanted to thank you again for last night. I’ll see you at breakfast :)”

Togami chucked at the smiley face. The brunette had always insisted on using faces in his texts. However he insisted on never using emojis. So did Byakuya, the blond guessed it was a just a habit he picked up on. Naegi definitely texted similar to the way he spoke. 

The good morning text had sent a warm feeling through Byakuya’s chest. He felt acknowledged, cared about by someone other than himself. Yet the other man probably just wanted to thank him. These greetings wouldn’t become a regular occurrence. Why is it that Byakuya wanted them to be? He quite liked waking up to something. But Togami wasn’t anywhere close to admitting it.

Should he reply? Right. Saying something back. Byakuya figured he should reply to the latter’s message. Just so he didn’t leave Makoto high and dry. That was definitely it. Why was he overthinking this so much? Just say good morning back. Togami typed about five different messages before reading them, hating them, and then deleting the message. 

“Goodmorning Makoto. Again there’s no need to thank me. I’ll see you soon.” 

Was what the blond had eventually settled on. Byakuya sighed as he pressed send. No need to give it anymore thought. The accountant reluctantly checked the time as he slowly got to his feet. 7:18. Byakuya Togami had spent fifteen minutes dwelling on a text message. Disgraceful. He wondered if his family was looking up at him from where they were. They certainly wouldn’t be looking down. 

As Togami finally slipped out of bed, he was in a bit of a rush from all the stalling he’d done earlier. Despite this, the former heir always made sure he looked proper and professional. Formality was comfortable, it made him feel at home. As Togami stepped in front of the full length mirror, he did a double take. 

Was he smiling? 

Unconsciously? Byakuya had a real smile on his face as he got ready. He looked chipper. Byakuya Togami certainly wasn’t chipper. His bad morning had come to a screeching halt with Makoto’s text. The blond would never understand. He’d woken up to texts from his coworkers all the time. Usually about business and missions, but none of them had ever given him this much of a kick. Why was he getting a kick in the first place?

The former heir smoothed down a few fly ways that poked out from the side of his thick blond hair. Byakuya wondered if Neagi did the same thing in the morning.

God there it is again. 

Attempting to get away from his thoughts, Togami rushed out of his room. Locking the door behind him, the accountant b-lined to the cafeteria. Byakuya slowed his pace down as he started to see more of the familiar faces wandering the halls. He greeted the ones he knew, and nodded to the ones he didn’t. That was another influence Naegi had, the blond had started to greet people in the morning. It took him all of his life to actually have a desire to be kind. Byakuya was very far from a saint, but no one could deny his progress. As he neared the dining hall, Asahina and Hagakure were patiently waiting. Most likely for Naegi.

“Aoi, Hiro.” The account greeted, deciding to make conversation with them before Makoto arrived.

“Togami! Good morning!” Asahina beamed, just as enthusiastic as always.

“Hey Togami! Did you..” Hagakure had a shit eating grin on his face.

Byakuya started back at him, waiting for an answer. Maybe trying to be nicer was a bad idea. Did the clairvoyant think he was being sarcastic? God forbid the blond was in a good mood.

“Dude! You just called me Hiro!”

Oh god. The former heir had realized his mistake just as the words left Hagakure’s mouth. The fortune teller had insisted on all of the survivors calling him by that generic nickname. Yet it would be unfair to call it generic now, Byakuya had just used it. Maybe if he acted like it wasn’t something new, Hagakure would drop it.

“Yes? Was that out of turn?” 

Who was he? 

“Out of turn? I was wondering when you’d finally come around bro.” Yasuhiro chuckled, swinging an arm around the blond. Too far. 

“I guess you’re starting to warm up to the idea of us really being friends!” Aoi chimed in, smile radiating.

Togami quickly ducked away from Yasuhiro’s grip. He wasn’t exactly the type of person you’d swing your arm around. God where was Makoto. That’s who he wanted to see. He didn’t want to call the other’s presence irritating, but it was certainly coming close. Byakuya knew they meant well. They weren’t doing anything wrong. Simply being friendly. Just like he had been trying to be. Now he was comparing himself to Asahina and Hagakure. Pretending like it wasn’t a big deal was proving to be difficult. Being nice was so exhausting. Togami wondered how Makoto did this no matter how he was feeling. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve acknowledged us being friends on several different occasions.” Byakuya replied, straightening his posture. Yasuhiro’s tight grasp had shaken him slightly, not that he’d show it. 

“Dude what is with you lately! I’m loving this friendly energy.” Hagakure gawked at the former heir, eyes wide. 

So people were fond of him like this. 

“Maybe being around Makoto so often is rubbing off on you, don’t you think?” Aoi suggested, placing herself right next to Yasuhiro. 

Byakuya felt his entire body tense. He most certainly was not adopting the traits of someone else. The personality he had was just fine, he was just trying to be the best version of himself. Not because Togami admired the way Naegi spoke to people. Not because he slightly envied the respect Makoto gained without even lifting a finger. And definitely not because the brunette didn’t have to mention his upbringing to become acquainted with someone. 

The immediate respect the other man earned from people would always be a mystery to Byakuya. Makoto had overwhelming charisma, he’s the kind of person you’re captivated by upon your first meeting. For as long as Byakuya could remember, he had been slyly slipping his last name into conversations to earn the respect he had before the killing game. Thinking about it further, the accountant wasn’t so sure it was respect he had earned from the general public. It was fear. 

It was such an obvious realization, it was right in front of him. The way people scurried off as Togami barked orders. The averted eyes as the blond shot a cold glance someone’s way. How commoners tripped over their words when they spoke to him. It was all out of fear. Anything anyone had ever done for Byakuya was rooted in intimidation. The notion that them or their families would be harmed in some way if they didn’t comply with what Byakuya wanted to do. He treated people like they were below him for so long. Togami wasn’t respected, not even a little bit. He was just feared. Probably hated. 

Togami should have realized this a lot sooner. The former heir was conditioned to order people around. It was his purpose, what he’d fought so hard for. Byakuya could not have picked a worse time to come to this realization. It was barely 8:00am, and a pair of gleaming survivors was standing right in front of him. Now was not the time for epiphanies. Togami needed to deal with the wild accusation Asahina had just thrown in his face. Nothing was ‘rubbing off’ on the accountant, he had just been making an effort to be nicer. 

“No, I don’t.” Byakuya decided to ignore the blistering heat in his ears.

“Although he’s been a pillar for all of us, I’m doing this on my own accord.”

“Doing what?” Asahina pried, cocking a brow.

“I guess you can say I’m bettering myself.” Byakuya admitted, averting his gaze away from the shorter woman. 

Togami could feel the pair’s gaze on him. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but it was extremely apparent. As the blond turned his head back to the two, both of their jaws had dropped. Silence. No one said a word, just stared straight at Byakuya. Maybe bettering himself wasn’t a great idea after all. It was so much easier to just throw insults left and right, and keep everyone at a distance. A safe distance. He wouldn’t get hurt that way. If the former heir never let anyone in, he would never have any issues. And he certainly wouldn’t have to deal with his emotions. 

But that was pre-game Byakuya speaking. The loud voice in Togami’s head that constantly screamed at him to avert back to his old ways. To scoff at any sort of emotion. To walk all over those who he didn’t see fit. Pre-game Togami was a pretentious, unlovable asshole. It took a lot of time to realize that the blond didn’t want to be him anymore. He was just scared. A frightened little boy who wasn’t aloud to feel. If Byakuya felt, he lost. He was shunned, exiled. It’s never who he was, truly. Togami never wanted to be the way he was. Yet somehow being cold felt safe. It was how he coped. The years of self hatred and loathing were so unnecessary. Maybe if he had just been a little stronger. Ignored his feelings.

It took every part of Byakuya’s soul not to think like the old him. The old him was destructive, he hurt others so frequently. 

“What?” Togami frowned, his entire face beginning to heat up. 

He knew this was for the better. He would eventually learn to let other people in. Soon. Soon he could tell someone everything. Byakuya would trust, wholeheartedly. Even just the thought of learning to trust was terrifying. Emotions were never his forte, but deep down he really wanted them to be.

“Nothing man. I just hope this lasts.” Hagakure choked out, still wide eyed.

“Naegi!” Aoi’s expression had completely changed as she waved her hand. 

Byakuya whipped his head around. Finally.

“Hey guys!” The brunette greeted, joining the trio. 

“Sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find my shoe.” Makoto admitted bashfully, scratching their back of his head.

Naegi was very.. something. Byakuya couldn’t put his finger on it. Makoto’s clumsiness, how focused he was when he ate, the way he’d hide his face in his hands when he was flustered. There was definitely a word for that. Togami smiled whenever any of these things happened, just glad to be around the other man. 

There was never a dull moment with Naegi. The pair could be sitting in an empty room in complete silence and Byakuya would still be satisfied. It was just so easy being around the brunette. And so nice. Whatever Makoto was, it was definitely a good thing. 

Togami was so wrapped up in trying to find a word to describe Naegi, he hadn’t noticed Asahina and Hagakure’s absence. The accountant looked around for the two, wondering how they could have completely slipped away from the conversation.

“Hey uhm, earth to Togami?” 

Naegi’s call had snapped him out of his daze. 

“Yes, right. Apologies, let’s eat breakfast.” 

Byakuya attempted to avert the conversation. Telling the man in front of him that he had just zoned out thinking of his mannerisms wasn’t really an option. 

Naegi’s laugh caught him off guard. When the accountant looked his way, the brunette gently placed his hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles. Togami caught himself before he said something harsh. There was absolutely no need to bring down the mood.

“What? What’s so funny?” The blond inquired, grinning slightly.

Makoto’s face contorted into a frown as he placed a hand near his nose bridge, pretending to push up a pair of glasses.

“Right, yes. Apologies.” 

Byakuya’s jaw dropped as the two entered the cafeteria. The blond guessed his expression may have looked dramatic, causing the shorter man to laugh even more.

“What did I say?” The former heir asked with a breathy laugh.

“God you don’t have to be so formal, you think I’m gonna scold you?” Makoto grinned, walking toward the large stack of trays with Togami by his side. 

“For your information-“

“There you go again!” 

They were both laughing by then. Naegi cut him off. He interrupted him. And he just let it slide. Of course Byakuya knew it was in a playful manner, but his former self would have lunged at anyone who even thought of cutting him off. This was good. There was definite progress being made. 

“Fine, would you hurry up? I’m hungry.” 

Togami smiled at the latter, who nodded before swiftly grabbing a tray. The two of them parted ways briefly to grab what they needed. Frankly Byakuya was starving, he had to refrain himself from grabbing everything in sight. There’s that warmth again. He’d dismiss it for now. Yet the accountant felt something building up. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but it was on the verge of bubbling over.

“Over here!” Naegi called, cocking his head toward a small table with two chairs.

As Byakuya made his way over, he couldn’t help but feel giddy. For whatever reason. 

The former heir sat down across from the brunette, setting his tray in front of him. As Nagei sat down, he shoved his face into his meal almost straight away. Byakuya watched, stunned for a second.

“Hungry?”

“Shut up.” 

Togami let out a loud chuckle. Makoto followed suit, almost spitting out a mouthful of orange juice. 

It was so pointless. Not necessarily in a bad way, but their interaction didn’t have a purpose. Byakuya couldn’t remember the last time that he had interacted with someone without a goal in mind before the game. The blond had something to gain from every single relationship. Wether it be business oriented or personal, Togami always got something out of the other person. However with Naegi, he didn’t want anything. He started conversation with him simply because he enjoyed talking to Makoto. Maybe that was normal. Byakuya definitely hoped it was.

“Listen, I wanted to-“

“Makoto I swear to god, if you try to thank me one more time I’ll have you killed.” 

“Yessir.” 

“Did you just call me sir?” Togami blurted, a giant smile forming.

“Did I? Guess it was just reflex.” 

“Oh reflex.” Byakuya rolled his eyes, grin widening.

“What?” Makoto’s eyes widened, a smile of his own starting to take over his face. 

“You make it sound like I’m giving you an order.”

“Were you not?” Makoto teased, sipping his drink.

Little shit. 

“Yes Neagi. I was telling you with absolute certainty that I would make sure you were dead if you tried to apologize again.” 

Byakuya’s heart was pounding out is his chest. This feeling was dangerous. His gut told him to welcome it, yet his mind was screaming words of protest. 

“Just checking.” Makoto replied, stabbing his fork into some eggs. 

The silence the two shared was comfortable as they picked at their meals. Byakuya enjoyed every aspect of Neagi’s company. The banter, the casual conversation, even the silence was something the accountant looked forward to at least once a day. Being around the other man was just so refreshing. Something he could come home to. 

Wait. 

That was new. 

Come home to? What did that mean? As in after a work day? Yes. That’s what it meant. Naegi was just someone he could talk to his day about. The brunette was a good listener, and always found the silver lining. Byakuya was just thinking that he could pick out the good parts in his day to make him feel better.

But Naegi made him feel better just by being there. 

He wanted to let the thoughts in so badly. 

He should. 

“All done?” Byakuya asked, finishing the last of his meal.

Talking would distract the thoughts. If Byakuya was lucky, they might even vanish completely.

“Yep! Here I’ll take your dishes.”

“Makoto.”

“Togami.”

God the brunette was annoying.

“I have to repay you in some way! Let me take them.” Naegi began to place the dishes Togami had used on his tray. 

The warmth, it returned with a vengeance. Someone was cleaning up after the former heir because they cared about him. Not because it was their occupation, or because Togami ordered them to. Naegi never failed to surprise the accountant, no matter how ordinary he seemed. As the shorter man left the table with their dishes, the fuzzy feeling began to set in. Makoto did that because he wanted to. Just because he thought it would be nice. It wasn’t a good deed per say, but Byakuya couldn’t wrap his head around it. The blond watched as Makoto disappeared into the kitchen. 

Makoto cared about Byakuya.

The declaration hit Togami like a ton of bricks. Someone cared for him. Of course he knew people cared about him other than Naegi, but this felt different. Why? Why was it different? His coworkers cared about him. The other survivors cared about him. But Makoto Naegi cared about him. It felt special, almost like a win. All of these feelings did nothing but confuse the blond. He was cared for by someone important to him. And he cared for them too. Makoto was important. Someone Togami looked forward to seeing every day. He felt relief picking out Makoto’s face in a crowd. A diamond in the rough. Makoto was his friend, of course they cared for each other. 

Gross. 

That word sounded disgusting playing in Byakuya’s mind. Makoto wasn’t his friend. He was so much more than that. Calling him a ‘friend’ was such a grotesque way to refer to his coworker. And coworker proved to be even worse. Togami had no clue how to refer to the other man. He still wasn’t sure why calling him a friend felt so wrong. Friends do the things they do. Talk, cry, open up, laugh. The term was wrong. Wrong in a way Byakuya couldn’t describe. The accountant should’ve left the dining hall, but something was telling him to stay. 

Togami would wait for Makoto to finish washing their dishes. It was the least he could do. Yet he felt he could do so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the overwhelming amount of support you’ve given me. i would’ve never expected this many to people to like my writing! i don’t plan on stopping any time soon 💓


	4. My Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The work day was long and stressful as usual. But Byakuya had something to look forward to, that was before his plans were ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! the chapters keep getting longer, but i’m not disappointed with the way this one turned out! i’m trying to make things go as slow as possible, but it’s hard when there’s so many opportunities for good relationship scenes! i hope you’ll enjoy this chapter 💞

The work day was painfully average. Post mission paperwork, finances, and dealing with imbeciles who kept making the same mistakes. Mistakes that were starting to cost Byakuya a fair amount of money. The accountant had lost track of the amount of times he’d ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down. Average certainly did not mean less stressful. For every good thing, two more problems made themselves apparent. All Togami wanted to do was see Makoto. Seeing Makoto meant getting to walk home.

That was it. 

Breakfast had ended all too soon. The moment the Ultimate Hope and the former heir parted ways, everything seemed to fall out of place. Problems that had been solved for months suddenly decided to resurface. Nothing major, but so tedious. The same people. The same problems. The same costs. Togami wanted to slam his head into his keyboard. God could this day get any longer? 

One hour. That’s all that was left. One hour and Byakuya could be reunited with the brunette that didn’t seem to leave his mind. Reunite so they could walk home, of course. 

Togami wondered if he would get out on time today. Having a break from the long nights would do the blond some good. The former heir had been gifted a bottle of wine by some higher ups at the Future Foundation. His last mission was incredibly successful, and the small reward seemed to set Byakuya’s victory in stone. Maybe he’d invite Makoto over for a glass. 

As if on cue, there was a polite knock at the door to the accountant’s office.

“Come in.” 

Kyoko’s purple braid was the first thing that slipped through the door. It seemed to swish in front of the detective wherever she went. 

“Togami, I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Not a problem, is everything alright?”

Kirigiri paused for a moment, most likely taken back by Byakuya’s politeness. Although her face certainly didn’t show it.

“One of the helicopters was significantly damaged on one of the missions. No one was injured.” Kirigiri explained, gently shutting the door to the blond’s office.

That was definitely Kyoko. Straight to the point, no small talk was needed between the two of them. Byakuya had grown to appreciate their dynamic overtime. The pair could get things done, they cut straight to the chase. The former heir wondered how their conversation’s differed from her and Makoto’s. Naegi was the same with everyone, just as optimistic and determined as he’d always been. Naegi seemed to have done most of the talking whenever the two of them were together. Not that Byakuya had observed them or anything. Kyoko’s face breaking into a light smile when Naegi’s eyes lit up. Why did his stomach turn at the thought?

“Where is the backup?” Byakuya asked, attempting to distract himself from his previous thoughts.

“That was the backup.” 

The accountant could feel an angry heat pooling in his stomach. Why? Why was it always him? He was the one left to deal with everyone else’s mistakes. So much for an early night and a glass of wine with Neagi. On top of that, Togami realized he could no longer walk home with the brunette. God, why couldn’t Byakuya have a single day where work wasn’t on his brain after hours?

“Dammit!” The blond smashed his fists against the desk. His first early night in months. Ruined.

Kyoko didn’t show any signs of fear or surprise, keeping her signature cold expression.

“I’m sorry, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.” The detective apologized, clutching a file between her gloved fingers.

“No, it’s alright Kirigiri. It isn’t your fault.” Togami assured her, eyes squeezed shut from frustration. 

Great. Just great. The former heir was so worked up, and over what? He knew he would end up staying anyhow. Just as he had every night before. Did he want to see the back route to the living quarters that badly? That was just about the only thing Togami would be missing out on. There wasn’t anything else to do. Aside from popping the cork on that bottle of wine, but Byakuya could do that any night. Tonight felt so.. important. The accountant knew it surely wasn’t seeing an oak tree that was getting him this upset. 

Upset. That’s was Togami was feeling. More progress, at least he could acknowledge that everything felt shitty. Byakuya wanted to walk home with Makoto thorough the back route. He wanted to see the brunette. Somehow the latter seemed to fix everything. Just seeing the other man smile would squash the disappointment of not being able to be around him. Why was seeing Naegi suddenly so important to the blond? He saw the former lucky student every day. They were coworkers. They ate breakfast together. They talked during every meal. 

It wasn’t enough.

Togami wasn’t being greedy, was he? It’s not as if he wanted Naegi all to himself. He just wanted to spend whatever free time he had with the other man. That’s probably what all of this was. Just Byakuya wanting to spend more time with his.. person. The person that understood him fully. The person who was managing to slowly break through every wall Togami built. The person he just wanted to be with. Be with in his spare time, that was all. Makoto was his person. It was certainly better than ‘friend’. 

“I’ll deal with it, I’ll see you tomorrow Kyoko.”

“Goodnight Byakuya.” 

With that, the purple haired woman briskly left the office. As the door clicked shut, Byakuya gently pressed his head onto his desk. His night had been ruined. Makoto was probably in his office, working away as he waited for the two of them to meet up. Togami guessed he just really wanted to spend some time with Naegi. The blond figured he should text Makoto to let him know that their plans were off. What a nice thing to greet you after a long work day. 

Byakuya let out a heavy sigh as he reached into his blazer pocket. The accountant pulled out his phone, staring at the black lockscreen for a few seconds. 9:53, Makoto had probably been getting ready to head over to the blond’s office. Wonderful. The former heir reluctantly opened his messages, and began to type out what he wanted to say. The same routine from that morning had made itself apparent once again. Typing a message, hating it, then deleting it altogether. It was difficult for some reason, having to cancel plans he was genuinely looking forward to. 

Togami had to cancel plans all the time for things that deemed themselves more important. He felt a little guilty sometimes sure, but it was different this time. The blond felt bad for Makoto, but he felt bad for himself as well. He was disappointed. This was something Byakuya had actually wanted to pursue. Not something to gain connections or strike a deal. He just wanted to enjoy the other’s company. It was so unfair. 

The accountant scolded himself internally for acting like a child. Unfair, life was unfair. Although that ideal reminded him of his family, it was something the former heir would hold for a long time.

“Hello, I’ve been asked to stay late tonight. I need to deal with something. I’m sorry, maybe we should reschedule for tomorrow.” 

An apology sounded so weird coming from Byakuya. However he knew it was something he would definitely have to get used to. The blond still said things out of turn, the only difference was now he wanted to stop. 

“You’re kidding! I need to stay late too. Helicopter crash?” 

Togami’s heart felt like it was going to leap straight out of his chest. Naegi was in the same situation. They could still go along with their plans. The amount of relief that washed over Byakuya was almost concerning. The blond didn’t realize how much he wanted to spend time with Makoto until he almost couldn’t. 

“Yes, actually. Are we still going to take the back route home? I want to see that oak tree you mentioned earlier.”

Yes, that damn oak tree. That was a good enough excuse. Yet Byakuya couldn’t figure out what he was trying to excuse himself for. All he wanted to do was spend time with Naegi. And laugh with him. And listen to what he cares about. And help him through any problems he might have. That was all normal, wasn’t it? Why did it feel like Togami had to hide it? His so called ‘true intentions’ were to be happy. Yes, that was the word. Byakuya felt happy around the other man. And he wanted to make Makoto happy as well. 

“Sure we can! I’m surprised you still want to go, but I’m definitely not complaining :)”

Did he make Naegi happy? 

Since when was that a concern Togami had? Someone else’s happiness? It was enough trying to deal with his own feelings. He wanted to know how Naegi felt. Did he feel the same as Byakuya? Then again, there wasn’t anything to feel. Just.. wanting to be around the other. Did Makoto enjoy the blond’s company as much as he did? Naegi was his person, of course he enjoyed being around him. But was Togami his person too? Whatever that meant. Just slightly above friend, that just sounded like it didn’t fit.

“I definitely wouldn’t pass it up. I’ll see you soon Makoto.” 

Honesty. That was definitely something that Byakuya had down packed. The blond was known for his brutal honesty. Although he was short with those around him, Togami never lied to anyone. Lies are weak, every single one is uncovered eventually. People who lie are just afraid. Cowards, even. The former heir had always looked down upon people who hid the truth, even before the game. This became prominent during trials, as he became short with those who’s stories weren’t straight. Although there was a good reason to lie when he attended Hope’s Peak, Byakuya never fully understood it. If you have to lie about something, you should have never done it in the first place. 

Attempting to make the time go by faster, Togami threw himself into his work. The crash. Was there anything in the helicopter? If so, what was the worth of everything inside? Was the chopper completely done for, or could it be salvaged? How much would all the damages be? 

The accountant spent the next hour and a half hopping from his calculator, to the phone, then his computer, then looping back to the calculator. The sooner this was all done with, the sooner Byakuya could see Naegi. And get home. Finally, after a day that made him want to snap his glasses from sheer frustration. It was almost over. Togami could feel his leg start to bounce from impatience. Just a few more things. Then he was free. Byakuya thanked whatever unseen force there was that it was Friday. Almost done. The blond squinted at his computer screen, punching in various numbers to a file he wouldn’t open until Monday. Two more amounts, then he could go. 

When the accountant finally finished, he shot out of his chair with a huff. Byakuya was almost out of breath from the intense focus he had kept for nearly two hours. As the blond started to pant lightly, a familiar pair of red sneakers made themselves visible through the office door. 

“Makoto! Perfect timing.” Togami grinned. 

Finally. What he’d been waiting for. 

“Hi Togami! I just finished too. I need to leave like right now.” Makoto joked, inviting himself into Byakuya’s office.

“I know, this place feels like a jail cell if you’re in it for too long.”

“Yeah, a jail cell with people trying to save the world.” 

This was so much better. So nice. Byakuya remember a thought he’d had earlier that day. That Makoto was someone he could come home too. The brunette had proved his point by just being there. They’d barely spoken a word to each other, and Togami’s mood had immediately lifted. Why did he just start trying to be nicer? This feeling was never out of reach for the former heir. It was always there, but he always disregarded it’s importance. Byakuya wondered how his siblings would have reacted to him telling them that happiness was important to him. 

They’d probably scoff, call him selfish. Togami grew up surrounded by the idea that wanting happiness or a positive environment was a selfish desire rooted in weakness. These walls certainly wouldn’t come down without a fight. It took Byakuya all of his life to realize that happiness is something he genuinely wanted. It wasn’t some twisted idealistic nonsense that people told him it was. Happiness was something that everyone should feel. Togami deserved happiness. No matter how sick and awful he felt, the accountant deserved to feel content with his life. With himself. That would take some work, but it was definitely doable. Byakuya just had to.. trust hope.

“When Kirigiri came in my office, I really thought our plans were ruined.” 

“Actually I meant to ask you, is that why she said you were so angry?”

Well. Well not exactly. But, kind of. Yes. 

“It was a number of reasons really.” 

No, he just wanted to walk home with Naegi and share a drink with him, but Byakuya thought that was ruined. 

“But that was definitely one of them. I’ve been looking forward to going home with you since last night.”

That came out awfully. Good god that was such a stupid thing to say. Looking forward to going home with him? What the hell was that? Togami refused to say anything more, stumbling over his words would only make the situation worse. 

“I’m so glad, I’ve been really exited too!”

Oh. He understood. And felt the same. The warmth the blond had been feeling around Makoto greeted him once more. Naegi just got it. He got everything. He always understood what the accountant was saying, or where he was coming from.  
Everything simply fell into place with Makoto. Things just made sense. Togami couldn’t figure out what all of this meant. Naegi was just so nice to be around. Makoto was the definition of a pearl among swine. Not that the other survivors were swine, just that the brunette stuck out. He was just so grateful Makoto had stuck by his side for so long. The shorter man was the person he never wanted to let go of, his person. 

“Out of my way half pint, you’re blocking the door.” Togami giggled slightly, gently pushing the latter out of his way. 

“Oh wow. Who do you think you are? And don’t answer with your last name.” 

It was Byakuya’s turn to be shocked. Makoto had a giant smile plastered across his face. He looked so smug. 

Closing the door behind them, Togami continued the banter.

“You’re irritating me.” 

“What else is new?” Naegi laughed, sticking close to the blond’s side as they walked.

This closeness was something that made Byakuya feel whole. That was all he needed. That being Makoto at his side. Another very dangerous thought, but one that the former heir was starting to warm up to. Wanting to be around Makoto this much was normal, wasn’t it? 

“Would you just tell me about your day or something?” Byakuya sighed, grin residing on his face.

His statement must have caught Makoto off guard, the brunette cocked his brow. 

“Are you alright with hearing me ramble?” 

That was a stupid question.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You can tell me whatever you’d like.” Togami rolled his eyes, looking down at the other man. 

Neagi seemed to be in awestruck. Byakuya thought he had made it clear that Makoto could come to him for anything. Although reassurance wasn’t exactly a regular thing with Byakuya, so the blond could understand Neagi’s reaction. 

Makoto’s cheeks were flushed. The former lucky student was staring up at him, blankly. Where was that word? He looked very something. Sweet? Sure. That would be suitable for now. Naegi looked sweet staring up at Byakuya like that. 

“Huh. Well first of all, I spilled coffee all over Yasuhiro.” 

As the other man went on about his day, Togami listened. Which was odd, the blond usually dissociated from the conversation when someone was ranting. Long, useless venting had no meaning to Byakuya. It was just cheap talk. But Makoto’s talk wasn’t cheap. It was meaningful, and Byakuya cared about what he had to say. He considered the brunette’s input valuable and important. The former heir listened intently as Makoto waved his hands to make a point, or scratched his head while trying to remember something. Why didn’t he do this more often? Neagi was always safe to talk with Byakuya. 

On top of listening to Makoto’s rambling, he quite enjoyed it. It made him feel something. Whatever that something was, he never wanted it to stop. As the shorter man went on about how he got stuck in his telephone cord, Togami didn’t think it was stupid. On the contrary, the accountant found it endearing. Just Naegi’s luck, the brunette always found himself in the weirdest situations. The other man had his talent to thank for that. Despite now being the Ultimate Hope, the odd and inconsistent luck cycle would never fade. Another thing Byakuya found interesting. 

The blond laughed at his jokes, frowned at his misfortune, and cared for his wellbeing. Togami wanted to make the other man happy, the best he’s ever felt.

So that’s what it was.

All of this overthinking, the sleepless nights, they all had to come back to this. Byakuya wanted to make Makoto happy. That was a relief. That was all it was, right? It was a perfect motive for spending so much time around the brunette. And thinking about him all the time. And wondering what he looks like when he wakes up. And wanting to feel Makoto’s soft hair between his fingers as he fell asleep. It all made so much sense, he just wanted the both of them to be happy. There wasn’t anything else to it. Finally, it had all been settled. Togami wanted to learn as much as he could about Makoto so he could make him happy. Not because of anything else. There wasn’t anything else to consider, was there?

“And then I came and got you! And now I’m going to take you through the route you somehow haven’t seen yet.” 

Makoto beamed up at the blond. God that smile. 

“What’s so special about that path anyhow, other than a few trees?” Byakuya asked, pushing his glasses up slightly.

“Nothing actually. Not to anyone else anyway.” Naegi sighed, turning his head to the side. 

The shorter man looked saddened. Byakuya’s curiosity took over.

“Well then why is it special to you?” Togami inquired, stretching his arms out as the two of them walked through the hallway. 

“It’s kind of weird actually. It reminds me of a feeling.” 

A feeling huh. Byakuya was trying to understand those, so maybe hearing what Makoto had to say could actually help him. 

“It’s like home. You know that warm feeling in your chest you get sometimes when things just feel right?”

Yes. Makoto couldn’t have put it better. That’s exactly how the blond felt. 

“I do, please go on.” 

Seeing Neagi’s expression light up was something Byakuya wouldn’t trade for anything. 

“The feeling of everything falling into place. It’s almost like relief. It’s hard to explain, but there’s nothing else like it. It’s almost like..” Makoto tried to find an analogy.

“When someone you care about does something nice for you!”

When he washed Byakuya’s dishes that morning.

“Or maybe when someone finally opens up, and you get closer to them.”

When Makoto sobbed into the blonde’s chest last night.

“Do you know what I mean?” Neagi asked, snapping Byakuya out of his thoughts. 

“You know, I think I do.” Togami replied, pressing the down button just outside of the elevator. 

The former heir watched the giant smile form on Makoto’s face.

“Finally, someone who understands! I tried to explain it to Kirigiri but she looked at me like I was nuts.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” Byakuya chuckled, waiting for the elevator doors to open fully before stepping in. 

As the two of them talked, the taller man felt the fuzzy feeling inside of his stomach expand to his chest. The blond felt like he was on cloud nine. Togami wanted to do this every day. Just have someone who understood him completely. The elevator ride was short lived, but their conversation surely wasn’t. Byakuya actually found himself telling stories. Fond ones at that. There was always something to talk about with Naegi. And even if there wasn’t, the silence the two of them shared was never awkward. Not even close. Comfortable silence was something both men valued. It wasn’t because there wasn’t anything to strike up a conversation about, Byakuya just felt good being with Makoto. He wanted to feel like that all the time. 

As the two of them reached the front doors, the conversation had completely shifted to Byakuya. 

“So you can play the violin and the piano?” Makoto asked, wide eyed.

“I can play a few others, but I’m particularly fond of those two.” Togami replied, pushing the two front doors completely open. 

The pair stopped for a moment, hearing the doors close behind them. Byakuya hadn’t seen a moon that bright since he was a child. All of the stars seemed to sparkle just a little more, the moon acting as a spotlight. Togami could see everything in front of him clear as day. The pathway was lit beautifully by the giant moon in the sky, light peaking through the trees. Suddenly Byakuya realized the feeling Makoto was talking about. It was quite something. A cool breeze swept by the both of them, setting in the atmosphere. The ocean just ahead of the small forest was absolutely breathtaking. The reflection of the moon was shining brightly off the water, it looked like a movie scene. 

“Woah.” Was all Byakuya could muster.

The walk home was going to be beautiful. Togami promised himself he’d do this from now on. With Neagi, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of your support as always! i still can’t believe the amount of love i’ve received from people on my story so far. i can’t explain to you how much it means to me.


	5. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Togami didn’t realize Makoto cared as much as he did. But why did he care? It wasn’t like Byakuya was a model companion who stuck by him no matter what. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! y’all don’t understand how CLOSE I WAS TO WRITING THE CONFESSIONS IN THIS CHAPTER. BUT I CAN’T YET ANSHDHSH.

“It’s not usually like this..” Makoto’s mind seemed to be drifting away as he gazed up at the moon in complete awe.

It really was beautiful. The trees gently blowing in the breeze, the moon shining incredibly off the water. However nature wasn’t the sight Byakuya was captivated by. As the blond turned his head toward Naegi, the air felt like it had been ripped out of his chest. The shorter man looked like he could be an exhibit in a museum. The dumbfounded expression on his face made it all the more difficult for Togami to pry his eyes away from him. Makoto looked like a greek god. Lips slightly parted in shock, the moon was shining perfectly on his face. The brunette’s freckles were on full display, along with all of the things people would normally call imperfections. Everything from the latter’s button nose, to his unruly brown hair had Byakuya completely entrapped. 

The former heir cursed himself for thinking Makoto was anything less than extraordinary. There wasn’t a single trace of facial hair on the shorter man. Baby face wasn’t the right term, Naegi certainly didn’t look like a child. The other man had never looked rough, it was like off days were impossible for him. Togami couldn’t recall a single time where the brunette didn’t look like he usually did. Which he still couldn’t find a word for. Togami realized he didn’t care wether Makoto caught him staring or not. Because that’s definitely what the blond was doing by that point. His attention completely shifted from the beautiful night in front of him, to his person. Makoto was the only thing he wanted to see. Byakuya found himself disregarding his surroundings, all he wanted to focus on was the boy standing in front of him.

Who was now looking directly at him. 

“Sorry, it’s just really pretty tonight. I bet you’re tired, let’s go home!” The brunette suggested, hooking his arm around Byakuya’s. 

They were touching.

Makoto was touching him. 

The accountant’s head seemed to whirl uncontrollably. Why was he doing that? Should he say something? Don’t stop. Please, don’t let go. 

Byakuya could hear his heart pounding in his ears. His whole body seemed to feel a lot lighter than it did ten seconds ago. The blond wondered if this is what being high felt like. Suddenly he understood why the feeling was so addictive. He never wanted this to end. The person who he cared so much about was so close to him. Togami wasn’t anything short of touch starved, but the former heir learned to keep that somewhat under control. This felt different somehow. The butterflies in his stomach, the sweat starting to form on his hands, and all of the blood rushing to his head. Byakuya felt like he could run a marathon. Get through another work day even. Was it energizing? Maybe that’s what the feeling was. 

“You grabbed me.” The accountant stated bluntly, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. 

“Is that alright? I figured seeing in the dark isn’t easy for you, so maybe me guiding you wouldn’t hurt.” 

Byakuya opted against telling the other man that the moon made his vision clearer. 

“Thank you for being so considerate.” 

The warmth was at it’s peak. Togami was fully convinced that the feeling couldn’t accelerate past this. Everything was perfect. The two had barely made it out of the office, and Byakuya was already at absolute peace. He wondered if Makoto felt the same. He did, right? Good feelings always came with a downfall, didn’t they. The anxiety of Naegi not feeling the same slowly picked away at Byakuya’s confidence. His wall. The wall that seemed to get in the way of just about everything the blond did. He was definitely overthinking. He had to be. Makoto wouldn’t hang out with him this much if he didn’t feel the same. Yes, surely the bond was growing on both ends. Where would this lead? 

“So if you cut through here, you get to see the flowers starting to grow!” Makoto beamed, pointing at the seedlings beginning to sprout from the ground. 

This was nice. Togami shifted his eyes toward the brunette, he always looked so enthused. Getting exited over the smallest things. All of Makoto’s mannerisms made Byakuya smile. Little things, like how the other man absolutely loaded his coffee with sugar. The liquid had to look almost white before the brunette was satisfied. Or the way he tapped his foot during meetings. The former lucky student still looked like he was a student sometimes. The far away look in his eyes as someone started discussing statistics and other things of that nature. Only perking up when somebody started talking passionately about a cause, to which Makoto usually encouraged them. The brunette’s bright smile and determined eyes that always pushed people to fight for what they believe in. Byakuya included.

“It hasn’t rained in quite a while. How are these seeds still growing?” Togami spoke out after a short silence.

Makoto seemed embarrassed, exhaling before putting a hand behind his head.

“I water them every so often, just so they can get by.” 

The brunette had been watering flowers no one else seemed to know about. On his own volition. Cute. 

Wait.

That was new. 

Cute was a word to describe small animals, or trying to compliment a newborn without sounding rude. Not someone Byakuya’s age who was just taking up a hobby. There wasn’t anything different about it. Togami wouldn’t think it was ‘cute’ if it had been Kyoko watering those flowers. Or Asahina. Or anyone else really. So why did that word come to mind when thinking of Makoto? God this was bad, wasn’t it? This was wrong. Awfully wrong. Yet if it was so bad, why did the feeling of warmth become so prominent? Why did tingles rippling through his body intensify? As much as Byakuya hated to admit it, it made perfect sense. That word he had been looking for to describe the brunette. His giggles whenever he said something witty. His stubborn ahoge that never seemed to flatten. His smile after someone showed their gratitude for what he’s done.

This was laughable, a Togami thinking someone was cute. So childish. And stupid. And pointless. Once again a thought that proved itself to be quite dangerous. He should just push it away, right? Pretend the word had never come to mind. Byakuya certainly wasn’t new to repressing things, so how hard could it be? Although as soon as the thought made itself present, the blond began to associate everything Makoto did with it. It was just so fitting. It shouldn’t be. It couldn’t be. It was so wrong. But it wasn’t. God what was this feeling? Internal conflict had never been an issue for the former heir. He was so sure of himself in every area of his life, this was the first exception. Of course it had to do with emotions. How was he supposed to deal with this? Makoto certainly didn’t need any of this. 

“Makoto I need to ask you something.” The words slipped out of Togami’s mouth without his permission. It’s as if his filter had disappeared entirely. 

Naegi looked surprised as the two continued walking. 

“I mean sure, but you seem pretty nervous.” The brunette giggled, lightening the atmosphere.

Byakuya silently thanked him.

“Are you trying to tease me?”

“Maybe.” 

The two of them briefly shared a laugh before Togami took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. Jesus Christ. 

“You enjoy my company, don’t you? I’m certainly fond of yours. Just to be clear.” The blond choked out, subconsciously tightening his grip on Makoto’s arm. For the love of god, please don’t let go. 

“You get all formal when you have something else on your mind, like you’re trying to hide it with that facade.” 

Byakuya’s eyes widened. What the hell was that? It was like Makoto saw straight through him. Dug up something the accountant wasn’t aware of. Did he? Was the proper speech another wall he had put up? The brunette had flipped his world upside down with one observation. Tonight was full of realizations, wasn’t it? Push it down. But that wasn’t healthy. Byakuya had to push it away. It wasn’t a facade, the blond simply asked him a question. Out of pure curiosity. Don’t see through. Not yet. Togami wasn’t ready. Maybe in a couple months, just not now. Everything was going so well. He didn’t want the warmth to go away. Please stay. It was the one thing he could look forward to. Don’t see through just yet. Makoto would run away. 

“I didn’t mean to come off as fake. I apologize.” 

“It’s okay if you’re not ready.” 

Naegi stopped when they reached the oak tree. It was stunning. The giant trunk reaching miles high, surrounded by the lush green leaves being lit up by the moon. The spaces in between the branches where light was peaking through made the area they were standing in look like a dance floor. Lights from all different angles shining directly on them. It looked like a movie scene. The climax, the point in the film where everything breaks down. Broken promises are exposed, lies are revealed. This wasn’t going to be some generic plot point. Byakuya refused to break down like some pathetic side character that needed development. It didn’t suit him. Being raw and real. But he wanted to be. So badly. To just show Naegi what he’d been through. To trust someone. To really open up. But not now. 

“Ready.. ready for what exactly?” Togami croaked, refusing to meet Neagi’s eyes. 

The shorter boy gave their linked arms a squeeze, it felt affectionate. 

“To tell me everything. To open up, I guess.” 

God, was the brunette trying to kill him? Makoto has just seen through years of defence mechanisms no one else had been able to recognize. Everyone brushed his behaviour off as bitchy. It was ironic really. Togami refused to open up, but yearned for someone to break through his walls. To trust wholeheartedly, to express what he’d been forced to bottle up. Feeling was seen as weak. Feeling was weak. The only environment Togami knew was cut throat and unforgiving. If he allowed himself to feel, it would get in the way of his purpose. Quite literally what he was made for. The former heir was nothing more than a contender for the Togami throne. God forbid he wanted more out of life. More then talking to pretentious assholes that only cared about his net worth. But was he ready to say that? To tell someone that he wasn’t a walking superiority complex that everyone thought he was? It was safe there. 

That way no one bothers to try with Togami. But he wanted someone to try. And here that someone was, staring up at him with these all knowing eyes. Naegi just got it. He always did.

“Neagi, I..”

“But I’m here when you are ready.”

“What?” 

Makoto gave the accountant a soft smile. More genuine then he’d ever seen from the other man. It felt.. inviting. Like the blond was welcome. That was definitely a brand new feeling. Togami thought that if he acted entitled to be somewhere, that he would feel welcomed. Yet he was wrong, every single time. Byakuya had never felt like he belonged somewhere, truly. But it was just so different with Makoto. The former heir knew he was always safe with the other man. Free to speak his mind, express his thoughts and share his ideas. But he couldn’t open up just yet. The emotions that had been hiding away were practically begging Byakuya to come out. It would be such a relief, especially sharing them with someone he trusted. But Togami wasn’t sure he could handle dealing with pent up feelings just yet. On top of old issues, a new one had surfaced with Makoto. But it didn’t feel like an issue. More like something the blond had to decipher. Thinking the brunette was cute was definitely a step in the right direction, but he’d deal with that later.

“You don’t have to deal with everything on your own anymore.”

Anymore. He always had to.

“I’m here, and I always will be.”

Stop. 

“Byakuya, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Neagi drew back his arm from their embrace, much to Byakuya’s disappointment. 

But Makoto gently cupping the blond’s hand in his own definitely made up for it. 

This had to stop. Byakuya was so close to just telling him everything. Not now. Please, not yet. He wasn’t ready. Everything would be ruined. No more banter, no more lighthearted insults, no more butterflies when their hands gently brushed together as they walked. It couldn’t end. It was too soon. If Togami unloaded all of this pent up nonsense on the shorter man, it would surely send him running. Nobody likes baggage.

“I want to, I promise.” 

Byakuya’s filter had completely vanished for the second time tonight.

“I want to, I just..”

Makoto squeezed the former heir’s hand ever so slightly. Most likely to show that he was listening. There’s another problem, Naegi wanted to listen. The brunette had no right to make Byakuya feel the way he did. His gentle squeeze had sent a chill through the blond’s body. The poor guy felt like he was going to short circuit of the shorter man got any closer. It was too perfect. Too easy. Breaking down wasn’t supposed to be pretty. It should be loud and gross and tear filled. And Togami wanted that. Every voice in his head was telling the accountant to drop to his knees and sob into Makoto’s hand. He should. Naegi would listen to his every word. Then he would slowly help him back to his feet, and somehow string together a motivational speech. A speech that would most definitely make Byakuya feel better. A small part of the former heir didn’t want Makoto to make him feel better. 

Byakuya thought would be so much easier if the former lucky student just avoided Togami completely. Never tried to understand him, or stick up for him. Except it wouldn’t. If Makoto kept.. being himself, the blond might do something stupid. Something that would definitely make his family scoff in disappointment. The former heir might develop and admiration for the other man. He might start to be inspired by everything Makoto did, and want to be better because if it. Or maybe he’d want the brunette to succeed in every aspect of life and feel purely content with himself. Togami might even start to do things in an attempt to make Naegi happy. Togami balled his free hand into a fist when he realized that was already happening. He already admired Neagi. There was no escape. 

“Not now. Not yet.”

There, that was all that needed to be said for Byakuya to get his point across. No tears. Why were tears even a possibility? The former heir hadn’t cried in years. This was not worth crying over. If anything, Byakuya should be overjoyed that someone is willing to listen to his issues and support him unconditionally. Why did it feel so heavy? Togami should definitely feel lighter, but there seemed to be a weight forming on his shoulders. The conflicting emotions were too much to handle. The warmth in the blond’s chest was still very prominent, but so was the pit in his stomach. This wasn’t a bad thing, this is what Byakuya wanted. He wanted to be honest with his emotions. He wanted to be a better person. This is progress. Why did it feel like an obstacle? 

“That’s okay. You can come to me anytime, you’re not a burden!” Naegi assured him, smile returning to his concerned face. 

Huh, so Makoto really could see through him. 

“Why?” The taller man blurted out, taking them both by surprise.

“Why what?”

“Why do you care about me?” 

The blond’s eyes snapped up to meet Makoto’s. The shorter man’s eyes no longer seemed to be all knowing.

“Is it because I’m a survivor?”

“Togami.”

“Or can you just tell when people are struggling? I’ve seen you do that with a few of the others. It’s actually quite impressive if I-“

“Byakuya!” 

The tone change startled the accountant, usually being the one to raise his voice. About a million thoughts flew through Togami’s head. God did he really let himself ramble like that? He looked awfully pathetic, didn’t he? Letting himself just spit out random nonsense like that. Pitiful. Byakuya was becoming the very thing he’d looked down upon for years. However it didn’t feel like weakness. It felt like a small breakthrough. Even if Togami wasn’t sure what the breakthrough was. The blond was still in utter shock he had let himself ask such stupid questions. He even ignored Neagi’s protest at first. Yet for whatever reason, the brunette’s hand never let go of his own.

“I care about you because you’re important to me! Isn’t it obvious? I want to spend all of my time with you, it hurts to see you upset!” Makoto exclaimed, tightening his grip on the taller man’s hand.

God that was something. Byakuya couldn’t explain what he was feeling if his life depended on it. Warm shock would the closest he could get. Neagi’s outburst was filled with passion, and it was so honest. Makoto was pouring his feelings out to the other man, why couldn’t he do the same? Togami was going to. He swore he would. Sometime, someday. How close that day was, he didn’t know. But it was going to happen. 

“And I couldn’t care less about your name! I don’t spend time with you because you’re a Togami, I spend time with you because..” 

Makoto took a deep breath before finishing his sentence. 

“Because I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else. The brunette finished, looking dead at Byakuya. 

He had taken the words straight from his mouth. So Naegi really did feel the same. Togami was certainly getting better at recognizing his emotions, but processing them was an entirely different story. How in the everliving fuck was Byakuya supposed to feel right now? Certainly not as giddy as he did. Or as happy. God the blond felt like a grade schooler who had received their first valentine. It was so.. good. Maybe if the blond had heard those words a few years prior, he wouldn’t have turned out the way he did. Naegi somehow managed to dig his way into Byakuya’s mind, and crush every insecurity he felt. The brunette hit the nail on the head, every single time. He never misspoke, and he certainly never guessed wrong. He always knew how Byakuya was feeling. What he was thinking. Normally that would make the blond incredibly upset, someone knowing his deepest feelings. But it felt different with Neagi. He wanted the other man to see that part of himself.

“Naegi would you..”

Togami managed to shoot the brunette a small grin.

“Would you come to my room for a glass of wine?” The blond asked, looking into Makoto’s determined green eyes. 

When the shorter man’s face lit up, Byakuya knew everything would be fine.

“I’d love to!”

Togami’s grin slowly morphed into a giant smile. That was his way of thanking Naegi. He’d be able to thank the latter in the near future, genuinely. Soon enough Byakuya would be able to accurately put what he felt into words. Tell Makoto about the warmth he felt around him, and how much he craved it when the brunette wasn’t around. In good time. 

As the two of them began to walk past the oak tree, Makoto’s hand never left his own. Their regular idle chatter had greeted the pair once more. Everything was perfect. 

It wasn’t the night that was beautiful. It didn’t come anywhere close to the smiling, hopeful man holding Byakuya’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope all of you are enjoying this as much as i am. writing this has been incredible, and i don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. i’m not sure how long this fic will end up being, but i can assure you there will definitely be more in the future 💞
> 
> please let me know if you’d like to see anything specific! i’d love the suggestions :)


	6. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya’s future had been laid out for him the moment he was born. Fight tooth and nail for the Togami throne, no questions asked. He’d always had a problem with it, but he didn’t realize there was any other option. It took Togami a lot to realize his future was right in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! this chapter is the longest one yet!! i’m not sure how i feel about it so far, but i think i got the point across! i’m really exited to write the next one :))

As the two neared the living quarters, the atmosphere had completely shifted. Not even ten minutes ago, Byakuya had been on the verge of a breakdown. A breakdown that was well past overdue. The fact that the blond almost spilled years of repressed trauma directly into Neagi’s hands scared him. The former heir found himself wondering what the outcome of him becoming a sobbing mess would be. Togami had absolutely no doubt that Makoto would have taken care of him. Cradled his face as the accountant finally let go of what he had been holding in for so long. Almost. Byakuya was almost there. He promised himself that the brunette would be the one to hear about everything. About the self hatred, the silent breakdowns, and the walls.

Pre-game Byakuya would have lunged at the blond’s throat if he had heard even a trace of emotion while speaking with someone. But this wasn’t about pre-game Byakuya. This was about the future. The future Togami finally realized he wanted. The future filled with people that lift him up. The future that looked like being a better person, and striving to become the best version of himself. The future holding his hand. That seemed to be the core of the blond’s desires. Everything always seemed to link back to Makoto in some way, everything positive that is. The future looked like breakfast with the brunette every morning. The future Byakuya yearned for. The former heir wondered if something big was coming. A lightbulb of sorts, a huge milestone. 

Whatever the milestone may be, the blond hoped it would include Naegi in some way. 

“I meant to ask you, where did you get a bottle of wine from?” Makoto squeezed the blond’s hand, attempting to get his attention.

God he really was perfect, wasn’t he? It all felt like home, however it wasn’t a home Byakuya had been familiar with. Maybe home wasn’t the right word. A sense of belonging perhaps? Togami felt like he belonged with Makoto. Well, Makoto at his side that is. Just.. beside him. They always managed to bounce off of each other. The banter wasn’t as exiting with anyone else. No one could put Byakuya in his place like Naegi could. Only him. This was the first time the blond quite enjoyed someone standing up to him, even if it was merely a joke. A disagreement between the pair never led to conflict. Byakuya could recall a list of petty arguments that turned into screaming matches. Nothing of the sort had ever happened with the brunette. Neagi was the first person the former heir could just speak to. About anything. And everything.

“My last mission went over very well, and some higher ups decided to gift me something as a congratulations.” Byakuya explained, swinging their arms a little as they walked.

It was almost too good. The blond wouldn’t know what to do with himself if this ever slipped away. The thought of not being able to see Makoto smile made the former heir’s stomach turn. Togami felt weirdly protective over the other man. Yet this was something Byakuya was already aware of. He remembered gazing over at Makoto’s broken expression as Junko Enoshima outed herself as the mastermind of the Hope’s Peak incident. Her eyes glazing over as she proudly swung her hands in front of her face. The disgusting woman’s neon pigtails swinging carelessly behind her as she broke down into a despair induced laughing fit. Byakuya could easily say that was the angriest he’s ever felt. However he wasn’t angry for himself, or any of the survivors for that matter. All but one. Togami’s mind flew straight to Makoto.

The boy who had managed to piece together every gruesome murder that took place on the campus. Quite literally pointing out the blackened’s missteps time and time again. Convicting people who you convinced yourself were friends of murder was anything but easy. Makoto’s furrowed brows and cold green eyes flashed through the former heir’s mind. The other man had to push aside any sort of emotion. Just like Byakuya had. Maybe the two weren’t so different after all. Although, Neagi’s guilty conscience would be something the brunette might not ever be able to shake. God, none of this should have happened. Not the game, not the world falling to pieces, and certainly not Makoto’s guilt. Togami could barely bring himself to believe Hope’s Peak is responsible for the two of them meeting. God did he ever wish it could have been different. 

“Oh right! That one..” Naegi sighed, tightening his grip on the blond’s hand. 

The sudden squeeze sent fire through Byakuya’s veins. The butterflies, the warmth. It never went away with the brunette, and Togami doubted it ever will. 

“Hm? Is everything okay?” Togami asked, rubbing his pinky along the back of Makoto’s hand in an attempt to soothe him. 

It’s funny, their reassurance went from verbal to physical overtime. Byakuya wrapping an arm around the latter as he cried, Makoto’s little squeezes of acknowledgement. It was like their own language. One only they knew. Suddenly that became the form of communication the former heir ever wanted to use. In retrospect, they had been developing their own little world of cues since the game. The looks they would only give the other. The little comments that always had deeper meaning. And they both always just knew. It came so naturally to them. Anyone else would look at Byakuya like he had three heads if he tried to speak to someone the way he did to Naegi. It was one of the blond’s favourite parts about their relationship, the pair’s ability to silently communicate so much more then either of them had let on. 

“Wait, they didn’t tell you?” Makoto tilted his neck back to look up at Byakuya. There was a concerning amount of shock in his tone.

“Tell me what? There was nothing to say. No one was injured, and everyone came back with every task completed.” The blond assured him, cocking a brow. What else was there to say? It was a picture perfect job. 

“Byakuya we thought you were dead.” 

Now that certainly wasn’t something the former heir expected. How on earth could a rumour of the blond’s death get back to HQ. Togami played Naegi’s claim in his head. That couldn’t have been true. We. More than one. Holy shit.

“Wait what?” The blond raised his tone just as the two reached the front doors to the living quarters. 

There was no way that could have happened. No one said a word to the accountant when he arrived back to the office. Not a single note, whisper or even an odd stare. The only thing Byakuya had received on his arrival was congratulations. From everyone around him. The blond could hear the clapping from his coworkers echo in his mind. They had thought he was dead? Gone? And no one had said a word to him? 

“Someone came back from the mission early and told us you wouldn’t be coming home. HR told us not to say anything, they didn’t want to freak you out.” Naegi admitted, eyes flying everywhere but Byakuya’s.

There’s no way. 

“But I thought someone would have told you eventually, none of us had enough time to really think it was true. You came back a day later”. 

Dead. People thought Byakuya Togami had been killed during a mission. And it was kept under wraps. No one had told him. The blond was at a complete loss for words. Why did no one tell him? Was everyone worried? What did Naegi think? Good god how did Neagi react? Did he break down in his office? Did anyone help him? Did he have anyone to talk to in that day? Who was there for him? God he didn’t have to deal with it alone did he? The accountant had so many questions. He didn’t care about anything else in that moment. He’d sort out all of the legalities of such a severe claim later. That wasn’t a problem. What was a problem however was Makoto thinking the former heir was dead. Togami knew the brunette cared for him, he had proved that tonight. That must’ve taken such an odd toll on his emotions. Going from thinking someone he cared about was gone, to seeing his face a day later? He didn’t deserve any of that.

“Makoto did.. how did you.. were you okay?” Togami could barely find his footing. 

As Naegi pushed open the doors, the two of them slowly trudged through the halls. What was going on? This giant bomb had been dropped on him in the middle of a perfect night. It was always work, wasn’t it? Who knew saving the world would fuck up your life this badly. 

“Let’s get to your room. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” Makoto assured the blond, speeding up his pace. 

The world felt like it was spinning in a million different directions. Togami had no idea what to say, or what to think. He wondered how many times the mood would be flipped upside down tonight. Please make it stop. For the love of all that is good, stop. All Byakuya wanted to do was spend time with Makoto. But everything seemed to be getting in the way. That’s just the way it was going to be, wasn’t it? Was the accountant just too much to be around? There almost seemed to be some sort of problem or baggage with Togami. God why did Makoto stick with him. It would be so much easier if the brunette didn’t care for him. He wouldn’t of had to go through that giant scare. A stupidly unnecessary scare. Byakuya swore he’d kill the person who scared Makoto that badly. The blond didn’t give a shit about the rumour that idiot had spread, he was worried about how crushed Neagi must have been. 

As the pair reached the survivors wing, Togami silently pushed his key into the lock. Although he couldn’t bring himself to turn it. 

“Did you really think I was dead?” Byakuya’s tone was barely above a whisper. 

Out of all of the things to start a rumour about. Why is it that his death seemed the most interesting?

The gentle hands wrapping around Togami’s waist made him gasp slightly. Should Togami be concerned that the warmth could completely crush any other emotions surrounding it? The fuzzy bliss that slowly took over Byakuya’s mind had the ability to push anything and everything else to the side. The blond could feel anything he had worried about before slowly begin to fade. His head was greeted by a familiar swirling, and his heart by a gentle pounding. He should still be concerned about this god awful rumour that was spread. But he couldn’t bring himself to think about anything else. The feeling of Makoto’s slim arms squeezing him close was everything he could have ever wanted. The brunette’s forehead leaning just above the small of the blond’s back. Close. So close. Don’t let go. Please stay. 

Byakuya didn’t care about anything else in that moment. No, that day. Well realistically, the past year. It’s all he ever wanted.

“No, I knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight.” The shorter man whispered, gripping onto the front of Byakuya’s dress shirt. 

What was this? This had to be something. It was almost like.. the peak. It was everything he needed to hear. Every single thought Byakuya had previously deemed to be dangerous came flooding back into his mind. It wasn’t warmth, that wasn’t the right word. Not anymore. Everything Togami was feeling was so much more than just butterflies. It was yearning, it was reassuring, it was unlike anything he could even begin to describe. Whatever it was, it was building up like nothing else. The former heir felt like he was going to explode. He wasn’t going to let go, was he? He was really there to stay. All the doubts clouding the blond’s mind seemed to drift away. Makoto wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t gonna leave. He was here for Byakuya. Makoto believed in him. He cared for him. He trusted him. Yes, that was it. Everything Byakuya ever wanted. The perfect example of everything he’d ever longed for. All of the sleepless nights hugging a pillow wishing for something meaningful, they were all gone. No more of those. Never again.

As Togami unlocked the door, Makoto loosened his grip. But he didn’t let go. He wasn’t going to let go. The pair slowly waddled in, not wanting to release their grip on the other. 

“Close the door.” Byakuya muttered, waiting for Makoto to let go. 

The brunette complied, drawing his arms away from the former heir. As the door clicked shut, Makoto turned to look at Togami. 

Silence.

Byakuya couldn’t begin to describe how loud it was. The atmosphere filled with a mutual understanding Togami was sure he’d never feel with anyone else. He was it. He was everything the blond had ever hoped for. Longed for. Cried for. This was a feeling he never wanted to let go of. Togami felt so certain, but so unsure. What did all of this mean? He knew Makoto was just.. it. But what did that mean for their relationship? How did the blond feel towards Naegi? Were there even words to describe all of the thoughts he’d been holding back? There was no way he could accurately describe what he felt towards the brunette. But he could definitely try. Gratitude, for all of the times Makoto went to bat for him. Appreciation, for all the little things the other man went out of his way to do. Admiration, for Naegi’s ability to inspire anyone he comes across. And hope, for their future.

Byakuya reached his arms out.

“C’mere you dork.”

Makoto flashed his million dollar smile before practically leaping into the blond’s arms. Warm. This is more than Byakuya could have ever dreamed of. He wanted more. Of this. Whatever it was. All the time. In the mornings before the two of them departed for their boring office jobs. During lunch breaks when everyone shared idle chatter about nothing and everything all at once. After the day had finished, when all the accountant wanted to do was complain. He wanted this to last forever. He never wanted to feel anything else. Everything Byakuya had went through had led up to this. And god was it ever worth it. All of those times the blond was close to calling it quits. Giving up. Not trying anymore. It was hope that got him through. Hope for a better future, and for a better life. Hope for something like this. Although this was far beyond anything Togami could have ever hoped for. This was here to stay. And it was so fulfilling. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Byakuya hummed, running his fingers through Makoto’s unkept hair. 

“I know dipshit, I can’t get rid of you.” Naegi could barely get through his sentence before bursting into a fit of laugher.

Byakuya followed suit, his airy giggle filling the room. There it was again, a complete change of pace. God he loved that about Makoto. About. He loved something about Makoto. The way he could just make everything better. The other man was like the antidote to anything bad. The way the latter could just make any sort of negative or awkward atmosphere disappear in the blink of an eye. It was perfect. Togami never wanted to let go. And know he know Makoto never wanted to either. He felt the same. He knew. He understood. Byakuya knew now he could do the same for Naegi. Cheer him up on the rare occasion that he was down in the dumps. All of this had to mean something. Byakuya wanted to keep showing him affection. Keep being with him. 

Stay with me, please.

“No, you can’t.” The former heir chucked, giving the shorter man a tight squeeze before drawing back slightly.

Togami would live in this position if he could. The former heir’s arms gently wrapped around Makoto’s neck, resting on his shoulders. The brunette’s arms tucked in the small of his back, pulling slightly on his waist. This certainly wasn’t butterflies, this was home. This is what Byakuya wanted to feel for the rest of his life. The feeling that could push through anything he’d have to face. The memory that would make Byakuya fight a little harder, hold on just a little bit longer. Weird, Byakuya didn’t want to let go anymore. He hasn’t since the two of them grew close. There was no more thoughts of giving up, not on Naegi’s watch. The blond wondered if Makoto knew just how much he had done to save him. Because that’s just what the brunette did, he saved people. Byakuya hoped he could do the same.

“If I remember correctly, I was promised wine.” Naegi reminded the former heir, slowly bringing his arms back down to his sides. 

Good, he was staying.

“Right, anything else your highness?” Byakuya laughed, making his way over to the cabinet above the cherrywood table in his room.

“A glass would be nice as well.”

Togami grabbed the bottle by the neck.

“Makoto I swear to god, I will hit you so hard you won’t be able to remember your name.” 

The shorter man let out a genuine gut laugh. It made Byakuya feel light on his feet. 

“Okay okay, I’ll settle down.” 

“You’d better, Christ Almighty.” 

As the blond unscrewed the cap on the bottle, he reached for two of his nicer glasses. His guest was certainly worth trying to impress.

“So about me being dead,” Byakuya started, pouring the red liquid slowly into each glass. 

Another laugh erupted from Naegi. Music to his ears. 

“What did that ignorant plebeian to do convince everyone I had died on the mission?” Byakuya asked gently, handing Makoto a glass, cocking his head toward the table in the corner of his room.

Naegi gave a quick “thank you!” before sitting down across from Byakuya. 

He looked stunning like this. Face gently resting on one hand, the other stretched out across the table. Almost touching Byakuya’s. Suddenly the blond couldn’t go without some sort of contact. As the former heir took a light sip from his glass, he inched his free hand closer to Makoto’s. God, were they in elementary school? It was like some sort of mental game. Does he move his hand closer? Was it too soon? Did he need to say something? Oh right, it was Makoto. The blond decided against overthinking too much, and gently placed his hand over Naegi’s. The latter seemed to appreciate the gesture, running his pinky along the side of Byakuya’s hand. Cute. Togami seemed to be getting more comfortable with these intrusive thoughts, suddenly he didn’t see much of a problem with them anymore. They felt affirming, like he was supposed to be thinking these things in the first place.

“I honestly have no clue, Asahina was the one who burst into my office.” Makoto began, swirling his glass with his free hand.

“I knew you weren’t gone. There was just no way. The Byakuya I know would never let himself lose to a bunch of knock-off Monokuma’s.” 

“You’re damn right.” Byakuya frowned, gently placing his glass on the small table. 

“It was such a weird thing to hear. She wasn’t making any sense at first. I had to calm her down first before I could understand anything she was saying.”

Huh. Asahina wasn’t able to function when she heard about Togami’s alleged passing. He hated to admit it was a nice thought, but the feeling of being cared about washed away any doubts Byakuya may have had about the other survivors. The person he’d quarrelled the most with. She had called him a monster. Not that the blond didn’t deserve it, but Aoi certainly wasn’t one to misspeak. She said what she meant, and meant what she said. When Togami realized the severity of his actions, he didn’t expect any sort of forgiveness. The way he spoke about Sakura was absolutely disgraceful. The former heir was disgusted with himself after her death, but he certainly wouldn’t have shown it back then. Byakuya figured he owed the girl an apology. Soon. He would figure out what his own feelings were first. Even without a genuine apology, Asahina was distraught about the idea that Togami was dead. 

“She said that one of the tactics guys stepped off the helicopter and started telling everyone there to greet him that you had died from an ambush and weren’t going to be coming home. I knew right away it wasn’t true.” 

“Has he faced any sort of punishment? That certainly doesn’t sound like a misjudgement”. Byakuya inquired, squeezing Makoto’s hand. 

There was their language again. His favourite way to get a point across.

“Not that I know of. HR seemed to want to sweep it under the rug. I guess..” the brunette trailed off, hesitating a bit.

The blond traced his thumb across the back of the other man’s wrist.

“Hm?” He raised his eyebrows, trying to assure Makoto that he could continue.

The former lucky student shot him a grateful smile before taking a deep breath.

“I guess they didn’t seem to care all that much.” He admitted, gulping down a bit of wine.

Byakuya let out a smug laugh, which seemed to catch Makoto’s attention. The brunette looked like he felt guilty.

“I’m know who I am. If HR doesn’t want to acknowledge me, that’s their problem. I couldn’t care less.” Byakuya grinned, tucking a few strands of blond hair behind his ear.

“What I do care about is someone getting away with lying about my death, I’ll definitely be speaking with someone about that.” Togami muttered, taking a sip of his drink.

“You’ll probably need someone to testify.” Neagi mentioned, looking up at the former heir. 

“Definitely. I’ll have you and presumably the rest of the survivors.”

“Yes, everyone was pretty shaken up about the news. Even Kirigiri looked off her game.”

“Would you look at that.” Byakuya chuckled, leaning closer to Makoto. 

Neagi followed his lead, leaning in as he spoke.

“Would you quit it? You know everyone cares about you.” Makoto smiled, huffing a bit. 

The two of them stopped for a split second. Another silence. Never awkward, but definitely meaningful. Byakuya was slowly learning to acknowledge that people cared about him. God finally. Yet he couldn’t take his mind off of a certain brown haired man who was staring right at him. God there was that overwhelming warmth again. Byakuya was dizzy with the feeling. Makoto’s presence was intoxicating, he never wanted this to end. And the former heir guessed Makoto felt the same way. No matter what they were doing, Makoto would completely turn the blond’s mood around. Waiting in line to shower, breath hitching when their shoulders touched. Passing by each other during a work day, Naegi’s smile giving him the extra boost he always seemed to need. Byakuya had lost count of the nights he had hit the pillow with a smile on his face, head clouded with thoughts of Makoto. The other man made him want to get up the morning. To never stop fighting. To break down his walls and be honest with his feelings. 

“Oh shoot! It’s already midnight!” Makoto broke the comfortable silence. 

The silence Byakuya had spent yearning for the feeling he got whenever he was around the shorter man. 

“I’m so glad we don’t have to work tomorrow.” The latter sighed with relief as he finished the last of what was in his glass.

Byakuya felt satisfied. A perfect night. Why was it that he wanted every night to be the same? What would Saturday look like? They had the day to themselves. Byakuya wanted to show him the best time he’s ever had. He wanted Makoto to feel the same high the blond did whenever they were together. God he wanted to make Naegi happy, more than anything. His own happiness had been taken care of, all he had to do was be in the same room as the other man. Was this what happiness felt like? Truly? Is this the thing every movie and book Byakuya’s ever come across referring to? Because if so, then the former heir was happy. Any family member who had told him true happiness lied within fame and fortune was irrelevant now. Any fear or doubt he had about genuine happiness had seemed to fade away. It was difficult for Togami to believe he really deserved this. What did he do to be able to get this lucky? Maybe Makoto’s talent was rubbing off on the accountant. 

As the brunette stood up, Byakuya watched as he squeezed his eyes shut while stretching. His future was right in front of him, this whole time. It was the clumsy idiot who always had something nice to say. It was never women he never felt anything for, was it? It wasn’t the ‘fine young ladies’ his father had shoved in front of him in attempt to carry on the family tradition. Those poor women didn’t want to be there any less than Byakuya did. They would just be used to have another child who’s only purpose was to suffer for the sake of a surname. It was no way to live. Byakuya had done it, and it surely wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The former heir would slap anyone who called it the ‘lush life’ if he got the chance. His entire upbringing was anything but lush. Nothing was handed to him on a silver platter. The blond did nothing but suffer to appease the company. The company he now owned. But what was an organization compared to the man he didn’t realize he always wanted?

“Thank you for this, I really enjoyed it!” 

So did he, more than Makoto could ever imagine. 

“No worries, I hope we can do this more often.”

Naegi snapped his eyes to Byakuya’s. They looked certain.

“Absolutely.” 

There was a word for this.

Byakuya stood up to walk the shorter man to the door. As he opened it for the brunette, he flashed Togami a smile. 

“I love being around you, I hope you know that.” 

“Likewise.” 

The mutual understanding had returned. There was definitely a way to describe this. 

“Goodnight Byakuya, see you tomorrow!” 

“Goodnight Naegi.” 

As the blond shut the door, he pressed his back against it. Everything seemed to fall into place. 

That lightbulb, it had just went off. 

Dear god. 

It was love, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much as always for all of your love. every comment and kudos makes me whole day. i can’t express how grateful i am for your support. i’m so glad to be here 💞💞💞


	7. Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Togami was in love. With Makoto Naegi. All of the warmth he’d felt around the other man all made sense. So what now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️TW: emotional abuse, neglect 
> 
> Hey!! I did not expect this chapter to be this long!! I’m actually happy with the way this one turned out. I think I’m going to make the next few chapters fluffy and nice, just to balance out all of the pining! But there will definitely be a plot point :)

Byakuya slowly let himself slide down the door. It felt cool on his back. Was that really the source of all of this feelings? It seemed so farfetched. To use such a cliche and generic word to describe what he felt towards Naegi. There had to be something better than this, but love seemed to be the closet Byakuya was going to get. 

So it was love.

In retrospect, it made sense. Yet it felt so sudden. None of these feelings were new, or even intimidating for that matter. Love had always been a constant. Togami’s heart fluttering whenever the brunette was around, feeling completely free with the latter. There was nothing he couldn’t tell the other man. And nothing was ever left unsaid. Until now that is. Love was such a wild concept to Togami. He’d never felt anything like this before. It would certainly explain the so called ‘warmth’ he’d felt time and time again. Byakuya could barely breathe. The blond gently placed his head in his knees, and brought his shaky hands to his ears to attempt to soothe himself. This was past dangerous. This was detrimental. But it wasn’t awful. This wasn’t anything like what his family had warned him about.

The former heir was surrounded by the notion that love was selfish, and would break you to pieces. It consumed him. Love scared Byakuya half to death, for the sole reason he didn’t want to become consumed by it. But here he was, absolutely infatuated with the feeling. And it seemed to be the root of any sort of happiness the blond felt. Love had been his salvation since the game. Although he didn’t seem to realize it until now. God, was he really that stupid? Why didn’t he realize this sooner? Oh my god. Oh my god! It was written in bright red letters this entire time. And Togami somehow seemed to let it fly right over his head. Pathetic. Byakuya had always thought of himself as a rather intelligent person, he never thought Makoto would be the one to make him have second thoughts. This was embarrassing. It was right there. For a year. The blond began to imagine what Naegi would say to that thought. Something along the lines of:

“Well you know now, and that’s all that matters!” 

Even the thought gave Byakuya some hope.

Oh right.

Telling Makoto. 

Togami didn’t think that far ahead. 

Now how was the accountant supposed to go about.. confessing? Jesus tap dancing Christ, he had to tell the other man. Alright. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? As Togami’s breathing quickened, he reluctantly placed a hand over his mouth. Not too loud. The walls being soundproof seemed to slip the blond’s mind. He would just explain what the warmth felt like. Easy enough. He would tell Makoto about their own little language and how much he wanted to keep speaking in it. And how Byakuya wanted to wake up to his freckled face in the mornings, and make him coffee. He couldn’t forget to mention how much he yearned for Naegi’s touch during all hours of the day. Was that too far? It was certainly true. Whenever Makoto was absent Byakuya found himself compensating for the other man. Placing a hand on his knee, holding his own hand. God this was humiliating. Had love turned him into an entirely different person?

The thought of that was intimidating at first. But like all of the other things Byakuya had been feeling lately, he slowly warmed up to it. Maybe love had changed the former heir. Warped his personality in ways that made him unrecognizable to anyone he knew before attending Hope’s Peak. It made the blond start laughing in public, greeting people as he walked by them, and start appreciating himself. That was something Togami had never expected to get out of falling head over heels for someone. Self respect. As entitled as Byakuya acted, the blond had never had anything nice to say about himself. It was ironic, all of the bragging he had done never seemed to fill the bottomless pit of self hatred. The accountant was literally the Ultimate Affluent Prodigy. His list of accomplishments stretched longer than him and Makoto’s height combined. He excelled in everything he did. So where did the feeling of never being good enough come from?

Maybe it was from a childhood of attempting to prove his worth. If you could even call it a childhood. Byakuya’s early years were filled with nothing but despair, to put it in the simplest terms. Contrary to what anyone might believed, Togami cried quite often as a child. The most out of all of his siblings. Over everything. Perhaps it was being the youngest that made him so sensitive. The former heir was the butt of every joke. Memories of Byakuya as a child flashed through his mind. Every minor inconvenience would cause the youngest Togami son to burst into tears. One moment in particular seemed to stick out. He had been no more than five years old, sitting in front of a grand piano. His teacher was obviously very well known and prestigious. Byakuya would often receive punishment for sobbing as he played. The music Togami’s teacher had shown him struck such a chord with him as a child. 

She’d slam her hand firmly on the side of the piano, motioning for Byakuya to continue despite his cries. God she was a bitch. Always yelling at Byakuya to be strong, calling him a weakling when the inevitable tears began to fall. Togami could recall the first time he played a piece all the way through without shedding a tear. Placing a gentle hand on the blond’s back, she mentioned something about all of his siblings surpassing him so quickly. That he was the runt of the litter. Togami could count the amount of times on his fingers and toes that he’d run to his father, begging him to fire her and get someone new. To which he was abruptly shooed away, told to come back when a real problem had arisen. It was after that Byakuya promised himself tears weren’t going to be a part of his life anymore. He would become strong by holding everything he inside. It worked for quite a while, even going so far as to claim the throne to the Togami name.

It was because of people like her that Byakuya was so closed off. Honestly, the former heir was grateful he’d never have to see her wretched face again. Was loving someone what it took to realize that the emotional neglect was a big deal? It had affected him. It still did affect him. Wow. So that’s what trauma does. Makoto had never made him feel anywhere close to the way he’d felt as a child. It was okay with the Naegi. Okay to have walls. Okay to break down. Okay to cry. And oh god did the blond ever want to break down. He never once had any sort of support for what he felt. He was always shamed or mocked. Byakuya would never forget his sibling’s cackles when he told them he would become the heir. Well who’s laughing now? Byakuya wanted to tell him everything. Everything he had been through, the reason why he is the way he is. All of the dismissive things he had heard growing up. The cruel environment he was forced to survive in. The look of pure hatred his brothers and sisters gave him when he had finally surpassed them all. God he never wanted to. 

Naegi had made any sort of insecurities he had vanish. The way he looked at the blond while he spoke. Makoto never thought anything Byakuya talked about was stupid. Or childish. Or unnecessary. Which was what he had heard his entire life. Togami could still hear the brunette’s voice telling him that the world was waiting for him outside of Hope’s Peak. That he had a reason to fight, and a reason to escape. He had a lot to thank the other man for. Makoto had given him a will to survive. Right on the brink of him giving up. Naegi was the reason Byakuya had a future. And he wanted to live out that future with Makoto. Not by his side or in front of him, the blond wanted a future holding his hand. Looking into his eyes as he went on about hope and how much it meant to him. Threatening to hit him over the head with a wine bottle for his relentless teasing. Watching him slowly drift off to sleep before shutting his own eyes for the night. 

Byakuya couldn’t even begin to describe the things he wanted to do with the other man. He wanted to surprise him with an endless amount of not so little gifts. He wanted to shower him with affection just to see the smile form on his face. Byakuya wanted to hold his face as he listed off all of the reasons he had fallen for Makoto. He wanted to kiss every freckle on his face before eventually having to move to the ones on his shoulders. God he wanted a future with him. Togami wanted to give Naegi things no one else could. He wanted to share every ounce of himself with the brunette. The good, the bad, and most certainly the ugly. Because Makoto had seen the ugly, that was his first impression of the former heir. A cold, distant asshole who didn’t care about anyone but himself. Oh how wrong that was now. Togami wondered how he brushed his blatant attraction to the other man off as a small interest. Well it was an interest, but definitely not the one Byakuya thought it was. 

Togami wanted to find out what his love language was by experimenting on the other man. Seeing what enticed the biggest reaction out of Makoto. He wondered what else he could do for the brunette. God all he wanted to do was pick him up and never put him down. He wanted Naegi to talk about his day with his head resting in Byakuya’s lap. Giving occasional hums of acknowledgement as he played with the brunette’s hair. He wanted to text him random little tidbits about how dumb some of his coworkers were throughout the day. Byakuya was trying to be nicer sure, but complaining about stupid coworkers was something he’d never be able to drop. He wanted to talk on the phone with Naegi during his lunch break, complaining about how people’s mistakes were costing him a fortune.

He wanted to bring Makoto back souvenirs from all of his missions, well the closest thing he could get to a souvenir. He wanted to see the brunette’s face light up when he said something Makoto resonated with. He wanted to hear the other man sigh as he came home from a long day, straight into Byakuya’s arms. He wanted to hold the shorter man as he cried about something that was bothering him, then exterminate whatever made him so upset. He wanted to hold Makoto’s hand as he finally opened up. Hearing Neagi’s supportive speeches as he went on about how much he’s changed and how proud he is of the blond. If he was proud. Why wouldn’t he be, right? Togami wanted look in the mirror and finally feel comfortable with himself, with an arm wrapped around his love. Makoto wasn’t a fix all, but he certainly gave Byakuya exactly what he needed to improve as a person. To grow, and to change. 

God, why wasn’t he doing all of this? Why wasn’t Naegi in his arms right now? He wanted him there, for Christ’s sake go get him! Byakuya abruptly lifted his head from his knees, determination coursing through his veins. As the blond reached for the door knob, he quickly brought himself to his feet.

Head rush, nevermind. 

The accountant stumbled in front of his door for a split second, desire not leaving his mind. It was then he realized that he hadn’t changed out of his work clothes. Why only now did he realize how uncomfortable they were? Byakuya made his way over to the large wardrobe next to his bed. As he opened the doors, the blond scanned all of the things he could pick out. Naegi wouldn’t care, but he almost wanted to look nice. This was it. This was the night. He had finally realized what all of these repressed feelings had meant for himself. He shifted his eyes to a black hoodie he’d been gifted by the Future Foundation. When the survivors had escaped, all of them had nothing but the clothes on their backs. Togami wanted to see Naegi in one of his hoodies. It’d probably go down to his knees. Dork. As Byakuya reached for his hoodie, he tossed it on the bed before undoing the buttons on his dress shirt. Finally, Makoto would be with him soon enough. Togami quickly slipped the hoodie over his head before shedding his slacks for pyjama pants. God he’d kill anyone who saw him like this. 

Byakuya nearly sprinted to his door. As he reached for the handle, he hesitated. What the hell was he waiting for? His future was behind that door. Everything he’s ever wanted. The person he didn’t know he was waiting for. Right, his dress shoes. Kicking them off, he took a final breath before making the leap of faith. Practically swinging open his door, the blond was met with Makoto standing in the hallway, staring right at him. The giant green shirt hanging over his frame made him look even smaller than he already was. Utterly adorable. Another silence fell over the two as they stared at the other. Makoto’s eyes seemed to do all of the talking. He felt the same. Byakuya couldn’t him bring himself to sleep alone after his realization. It was too perfect. This wasn’t exactly something that could wait until morning. Love wasn’t something you came across every day. Or any day in Byakuya’s case. This was it. Togami certainly never missed opportunities, let alone the most important one he’s had to take yet.

“Byakuya, I-“

He didn’t need to hear an explanation. Togami reached his hands out to cup Naegi’s face, then closed the gap between the two of them. The former heir’s heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment. Everything else seemed to fade into the background as he kissed Makoto. Nothing else mattered. It never did. Not the other survivors probably fast asleep in their rooms, not the cameras in the hallway. Let them see. Byakuya finally had what he’d always wanted. Naegi didn’t skip a beat, swinging his arms around the blond’s neck. Bliss. Everything was perfect. Makoto kissed him back straight away, there was no awkward pause. Not even close. The both of them had wanted this for so long, not realizing what ‘this’ was. But it was finally here. The love Togami had been pushing down for so long. 

Byakuya tilted Makoto’s head to the side, not wanting to break what they had. As the two of them started to breathe through their noses, the dynamic became less intense. It was like talking at this point. It was slow, passionate, and so relieving. Relief was the last thing Byakuya expected to feel when he kissed the other man. The swirl of different had emotions had settled as soon as they connected their lips. This was what love meant to Byakuya. It was never anything else. Not what any of his family had showed him, or anyone else really. Makoto was love, and Togami was never letting go. As the brunette tightened his grip around the taller man’s neck, he took it as a sign to let his hands roam. Of course they went straight to Makoto’s hair. The few times Byakuya had run his hands through the latter’s hair had been so.. right. Like this always should have been the case. One hand rested at the nape of Naegi’s neck, while the other was running through his hair. 

Neagi was the one to pull away, although reluctantly.

“I have to-“

“I love you too.” Byakuya cut him off, running his finger along the back of Makoto’s neck.

The smile that followed his confession was unlike anything Togami had seen before. His eyes seemed to be watering as the corners of his lips tilted upwards. It was the biggest, and most genuine grin the blond had ever seen from Makoto. The smile that he got to see. He was the one who made him this happy. God it was so much more than just perfect. It was incredible, it was fulfilling, and it was definitely a lot more than Togami had hoped for. This was love felt like. Truly. The former heir never wanted to feel anything else. His heart felt like it was filling with something. This was everything he had ever wanted, without him even knowing he wanted it. Byakuya couldn’t imagine experiencing this kind of feeling with anyone else. Only Neagi. His first and his last. No more longing for a connection that meant something to him, it was right in front of him. His future. 

“Jump.”

“What?” Makoto scrunched his face into a frown. So cute. 

“I think that was a pretty simple request, we’re still in the hallway Makoto.” Byakuya shot him a smug look, cocking his head toward the camera at the end of the hall.

Makoto tilted his head to look at the surveillance system, which almost seemed like it was looking at them.

“Ah, right.”

“Dumbass.” Togami giggled, drawing his arms away from Naegi’s face.

As the shorter man jumped, his grip on Byakuya’s neck had tightened even more so than before. Not uncomfortably so, just.. affirming. He was right there, and he wasn’t going anywhere. The blond caught Makoto as he jumped, gripping his thighs as he wrapped his legs around Byakuya’s waist. Togami was eternally grateful the doors didn’t close automatically. The accountant looked up at Naegi, who was trying to adjust to being picked up. He was smiling back down at him, probably happy to be carried. This was definitely going to be a regular occurrence. Byakuya couldn’t get enough of the man in his arms. The blond carefully turned on his heel, carrying Makoto in his room. There was no way Togami was going to let him sleep alone tonight. Or the next night. Or any of the nights after that. They’d sort out any details of sharing rooms later. Right now, all that mattered is the fact they were together. At long last. 

Byakuya gently placed Makoto on the edge of his bed, pecking him on the forehead before making his way over to his still open door. As he shut it, he noticed how vulnerable Makoto looked. Not necessarily on the verge of tears, but very.. emotional. Togami definitely wanted to see more of that. The butterflies had completely subsided by that point, turning into solid contentment. This was home. 

“Talk to me.” The former heir whispered, sitting next to Makoto on his bed. 

Placing a gentle hand over the brunette’s, Togami learned in to place kisses along Neagi’s jawline. He just wanted to show the other man how much he appreciated him. Just how long he had been waiting for this.

“I guess I’m still trying to process! I just.. I’ve wanted this for so long.” The brunette managed, tucking a few strands of Byakuya’s hair behind his ear.

He took the words straight from his mouth. Being with Makoto like this felt so natural. God where was his newfound emotional intelligence a year ago? This could have been going on since Hope’s Peak. It was so right, so perfect. Byakuya would have spit on you if you told him he would be in love with Makoto Naegi when the two first met. The blond remembered sharpening his tone just a little more towards the latter so he ‘wouldn’t get any ideas’. About what, Byakuya didn’t know back then. But he sure did now. Lesson learned, the former heir swore he’d never let himself be that stupid and ignorant ever again. The amount Togami had changed within the last little while was almost laughable. It was like he had morphed into a completely different person. A person who was slowly healing from his past mindset, and a person who was now learning to love.

Moving his kisses higher up Makoto’s face, Byakuya placed one on his nose before replying. 

“You’re the only person I’d ever want something like this with Naegi, I hope you realize that.” The blond’s tone was just above a whisper. 

“Same here, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this to happen.” 

“I didn’t know this is what I was waiting for.” 

“Well what do you mean by that?” The brunette asked. His voice was so soft. Not necessarily in volume, but certainly in tone.

It was Makoto’s turn to show affection. As the shorter man reached his hand out, he tilted Byakuya’s head to the side. He then began to place light kisses just beside the blond’s ear. All of this was so satisfying. It was tender and so genuine. Togami felt like he was sharing his soul with other man. He wanted Naegi to stay by his side, no matter what came their way. The two had been through hell and back together, there’s a reason why they’ve made it this far. The outcome was rewarding to say the least. At the end of nothing but death, destruction and pain, there was this. Makoto made everything worth it. All of the neglect, the hatred for himself and the world, and the game the two of them had been trapped in. Togami would never have thought twice about giving up if he knew this is what was at the end of the line. The light at the end of the tunnel. The moment he had been silently wishing for his whole life. Love is what he had been fighting so hard for, and he’d stop at nothing to savour what he had. 

“I’ve always felt like I was missing out on something. I knew there was more to life than running a company.” Byakuya sighed, leaning into Makoto’s touch. 

Everything about him was captivating. And now he was Byakuya’s. And the blond certainly belonged to Naegi as well. 

“Who would have thought it would be some small fry who preached about having hope for humanity.” Togami chuckled, awaiting the latter’s reaction.

Knowing him, he’d act offended.

The brunette immediately pulled back.

“You did not just call me small fry Byakuya, you didn’t.” 

He was right. 

Naegi giggled as he brought his hands to Byakuya’s chest, pushing him back on the bed. The other man flopped down beside him as the two of them shared a laugh. As their childish giggling began to die down, the pair collectively sighed. They shared a comfortable silence while staring at Byakuya’s ceiling fan. He hoped to god Naegi wasn’t cold, there was no way in hell he was going to turn the fan off. Huh, maybe that would be their first quarrel. A damn ceiling fan. There was nothing else to argue about anyways. Any sort of disagreement was always work related, and it never left the office. Togami was beyond grateful the two of them had learned to separate work from their personal lives. It certainly took some time, but it was so much better now that work was just work. They didn’t disagree often, usually speaking that silent language during meetings.

Byakuya wondered what he would have done if he never realized he was in love with Makoto. Even the thought was soul crushing. If the former heir had packed it up for the night, and went to bed. Proceeding with months of the strange ‘warmth’ the blond couldn’t seem to shake. Not that he’d be able to get rid of it now. He didn’t want to get rid of it either. It was because of that pushy little voice in his head telling him to figure out what these strange feelings meant. Yet Byakuya didn’t think of them as strange anymore. They belonged to Makoto now. All of Togami’s emotions, thoughts and feelings. They were now at Naegi’s disposal. Byakuya wanted to be known. And he certainly was getting to that point. He’d break down and tell the brunette everything eventually. He was finally comfortable with the thought of being vulnerable. That was a massive milestone for anybody. But Togami especially. The man who’d shamed anyone else for being honest with their feelings. The scared little boy who cried too much. The ‘runt of the litter’. Those were all things of the past.

Naegi turned towards the blond, propping his head up on his hand.

“Did you ever think this is how you’d turn out?”

“You already know the answer to that.” Byakuya replied, meeting the other’s eyes. 

Absolutely not.

“Where did you think you’d be by now?”

Togami took a deep breath, then he thought for a moment. Where did pre-game Byakuya see himself in a year?

“Well, I would have owned the company by now for one. And you’re quite familiar with the family tradition,” the blond started, the words pouring out before he had the chance to think.

“I would be waiting on my fourteen or fifteen sons and daughters to be born, all with women I had forgotten the names of. I wouldn’t have thought twice Naegi.” 

There it was. The raw emotion suddenly pouring out beyond the former heir’s control. Yet it didn’t seem as scary as it did before. It wasn’t intimidating with Makoto, it was more progress. Speaking without taking a moment to think was incredibly rare for Byakuya. All of his words were well thought out, carefully calculated, and planned to the nth degree. This was the first time Togami was comfortable just.. letting go. Sharing the deepest parts of himself with someone else without fearing judgement. Neagi wouldn’t judge him anyway, but it was certainly nice to feel safe. Security in a literal sense was a massive part of Byakuya’s life. Constantly being surrounded by bodyguards, house littered with cameras, a literal wall surrounding his house. Togami never felt secure, he felt trapped. There was no room to breathe, no place to escape to. Thank god he’d found his outlet now, in the form of a person who was too nice for his own good. 

“I should have kissed you when you told me you couldn’t imagine spending your time with anyone else. But I didn’t know that’s what I wanted to do.” 

“I think a small part of me knew all along, the part of me behind the walls anyway.” 

There it was again. God, he found someone he trusted enough to talk about his defence mechanisms. His facade, the one he had fooled just about everyone with. 

“I wouldn’t let my mind wander anywhere past my old habits. The things I’ve been told since I was a child.”

“Yeah?” Makoto hummed quietly, locking his pinky with Byakuya’s.

Man he really was perfect. Makoto knew exactly what to do when Byakuya started to choke up. Naegi wanted to hear him out. He wanted him to continue. No one ever wanted to hear what the blond had to say. It was the reason he inserted his opinion into everything, he just wanted to be heard. Saying outrageous and hurtful things was the only way anyone would give Byakuya any sort of acknowledgement. But he knew now that he didn’t want to do that for any longer. His input was wanted, he didn’t have to say things he didn’t mean anymore. Togami didn’t think he would ever get used to feeling wanted. Cared about. It was just so foreign to anything he had ever felt. But this is what his future looked like. Self acceptance, becoming the person he’s always wanted to be. There wasn’t any reason for the walls anymore. The insults, or the isolation. It was okay. None of that was necessary anymore, especially with Makoto. The one who always seemed to understand. 

“I viewed my way of thinking about you as selfish.”

“Selfish? You’ve done nothing but help me!”

“I think it’s the other way around.” Byakuya smiled fondly. 

“It’s funny, isn’t it? Guilt is something we both have to deal with all the time. Just in different ways.” 

He had a point. Now that Byakuya was giving it some thought, guilt had been the forefront emotion his entire life. The constant punishment for showing emotion, the false idea of weakness being shoved down his throat. Byakuya was conditioned to feel guilty. Huh, another lightbulb of sorts. Togami remembered feeling like such a crybaby when he begged his father to fire that god awful piano teacher. Why was he forced to feel so guilty about simply having emotions? All of his siblings went through the same treatment. They all knew how it felt, but all they did was contribute to it. Byakuya needed to be a punching bag so his brothers and sisters could feel better about themselves. God it was so unfair. The former heir was literally taught to feel guilty if he even thought of being vulnerable. There was no place for vulnerability in the Togami family. If you were even so much as feeling blue, everyone took the opportunity to step on you. On Byakuya.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Do you know how proud of you I am?”

Togami shot up.

“I’m sorry?” He blurted out, completely baffled. 

The blond had never heard those words before. From anyone. A weird feeling began to form in Byakuya’s stomach. Why was he nervous? It wasn’t necessarily anxiety, more of a giddy type of fear. Just like before he went to kiss Makoto. This was good, wasn’t it? The only person that had ever been proud of Togami was himself, and that had been artificial for the most part. Was Naegi proud of his growth like he had hoped? God he really needed that. The former heir never knew he needed to hear those words so badly until they left Naegi’s lips. He felt validated, like all his work wasn’t for nothing. His efforts to be nicer, his acknowledgement of all the ugly parts of himself. It wasn’t just for show. Someone had recognized his efforts. The person he cared to hear it form the most. Togami could swear the child in him was crying. The kid who’d been neglected, pushed to the side and ridiculed. They were tears of salvation.

“You’ve been through nothing but pain, and you came out of it like this!” Makoto added, sitting up alongside Byakuya.

“I’m always so impressed, honestly! You’re the strongest person I know. And the fact that you still want to better yourself says a lot. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.” Naegi finished, smiling bright as always.

Togami looked back at him, stunned. Pride. He felt proud of him. All of his efforts weren’t going it waste, and they certainly weren’t for nothing. 

Byakuya wondered how he got so lucky. This was definitely it. The very thing that would help sustain him, and assist him as he grows. They were in love, and that’s all he needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much as always for all of your love and support. The amount of support I’ve received for this fic is incredible. I appreciate every single kudos and comment, they all mean so much to me. I love you, and I really hoped you enjoyed the chapter! 💞💞💞


	8. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn’t supposed to cry. Byakuya Togami certainly didn’t cry. He wasn’t supposed to break down yet. And Makoto definitely wasn’t supposed to be this supportive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️TW: emotional abuse, emotional neglect, homophobia 
> 
> hey!! man writing this chapter was a ride. this entire story has been so much fun to write, and i’m so glad all of you enjoy it so much. i never expected this fic to mean so much to me, but i’ve grown so attached to it. i can’t wait to continue it!!

“You.. you’re proud of me?”

Togami still couldn’t wrap his head around it. The first time he had ever heard those words were in the middle of an apocalypse. Somebody was proud of him. And it was Makoto no less. The person he could always rely on, the one who never let him down. His achievements now meant something. Being the best at sports or the piano was never what any of this was about. Byakuya had been congratulated many times for excelling in athletics and music. But no one was ever proud of Togami. They envied what he could do. The countless hours spent going so far past his limit had resulted in a couple of hobbies. Great. But someone was proud of him as a person. Proud of his growth, his resilience. The former heir did everything in his power to appease anyone who would pay attention to him. But it never worked. All of the boasting never resulted in any sort of praise, just a lower opinion of the blond. No one likes a narcissist.

“Of course I am. And I’m not just saying that either, I really mean it.” 

“I’m sorry-“ Byakuya managed, averting his gaze anywhere but Makoto’s eyes. 

Togami ran his fingers along one of the strings on his hoodie, trying to figure out what to say. What was there to say? The blond had no idea how to react. Of course he was grateful for Makoto’s kindness, but he wasn’t sure how to express it. This was typical. Why is it that every time a good thing happens is Byakuya’s life, his childhood seemed to interfere? Wether it be memories or subconscious habits, there was always some sort of roadblock. The former heir still found himself listing his accomplishments to prove himself sometimes. To people he had nothing to prove to. Just faces, with opinions. Opinions Byakuya seemed to care way too much about. He hated himself for letting his memories get in the way of something so important to him. Makoto deserved to know why he was so.. difficult to deal with. Was he difficult? Did he cause Neagi any extra stress? Togami was still shocked at the fact things that happened years ago could still affect him to this day.

“No one’s ever told you they’re proud of you, huh?” The brunette sat up alongside Byakuya, resting his chin on the former heir’s shoulder.

That’s odd, Togami had told Makoto earlier that night he wasn’t ready to open up just yet. But something seemed to just.. click. As Byakuya took a shaky breath, he balled both of his hands into fists. He should just let it happen. It’ll be fine. He obviously wants to listen, right? So stop holding back. It’s okay now. There’s no reason to act so high and mighty anymore. Togami was going to tell Makoto everything. The way his siblings acted, the way his father viewed him as an afterthought. It won’t be easy to say those things sure, but he’s always wanted to tell someone. To have a safe person. The blond knew Makoto couldn’t fix his issues, and he didn’t want him to either. He just wanted someone to listen to him. To hear him out, to believe him. No one had ever given a second thought about the way Byakuya was treated. It was simply just how it went. Life’s not fair, toughen up, be a man. He’d heard it all. Togami knew he wasn’t going to hear those things from the brunette, but it all just felt so familiar. Opening up always ended badly. But not this time. 

“Not that.. no. I haven’t-“ 

Makoto’s arms slowly wrapped around his waist just like they had before. He pressed a soft kiss on Byakuya’s shoulder before giving him a squeeze.

“You can tell me, I promise I won’t let go.” 

That was it. Byakuya’s last shred of dignity had disappeared. As the blond slowly took off his glasses, he felt himself letting go. As soon as his glasses were on the nightstand beside his bed, Togami’s head fell into his hands. The first thing that left his mouth was a choked sob, followed by tears that had been stored away for far too long. The blond’s attempt to muffle his cries were to no avail. God he hasn’t cried like this since he was little. Byakuya’s face was wet from sobbing so hard. The former heir refused to look up at Naegi, he shouldn’t have to see him like this. It was as if years of pent up suffering decided to make themselves apparent as Togami shook with the sobs. The brunette’s hands never left his wait, gently rubbing his stomach to show he was still there. His cries were loud and violent, this was humiliating. As much as he wanted to open up, he never expected himself to become this much of a mess.

Was crying supposed to last this long? Was it supposed to consistently make you tremble? Every part of Byakuya’s body had completely tensed by that point. The initial embarrassment wasn’t gone, but it was slowly fading. Of course his mind went straight to his father. Saying no son of his would be so useless. God he felt so selfish. Tonight was supposed to be so peaceful. It was going to be about him and Makoto finally being together, not Togami reliving his childhood trauma. Was it even trauma? Were the things he’d been through enough to warrant this much pain? Maybe he should have been stronger. None of this was a big deal. Byakuya was sure some of the other survivors had it worse. Jesus, he had no right to be acting this weak. But he couldn’t stop. Makoto telling him that it was okay, it had just felt right. Was it okay? The amount of internal conflict that had gone on in one night was astonishing. The former heir just didn’t know. This was all so new, being loved and supported like this. Was this really alright? And healthy? He certainly didn’t feel very good about himself.

As the tears continued to fall, Naegi began tracing small kisses along Togami’s back. Moving from his shoulder, stretching up to the nape of his neck. Then trailing just behind his ears, and staying there for a while. Maybe it really was fine. Byakuya wasn’t weak for crying. It was just recently the accountant had decided to start bettering himself. And unfortunately that meant coming face to face with things that had permanently damaged him. But Togami didn’t have to do those things by himself anymore. He had someone that wanted to help him, and listen to the things that he’d been through. He had a home now, one that he was safe in. Byakuya had lived in luxury his entire life, but he never felt at home. Memorizing each of siblings footsteps to see if he had to lock the door or not certainly didn’t feel very welcoming. Stealing from each other wasn’t uncommon in the Togami household. If it was that important, you kept it on you. Anything to surpass anyone that got in your way. Byakuya had never taken anything, but his piggy bank that somehow made its way into his sister’s room made him all the more cautious moving forward.

“God, you shouldn’t have to see me like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” The blond sobbed, hastily wiping his tears.

“Look at me.” Makoto spoke gently, statement sounding more like a question than a command.

As Byakuya lifted his head from his hands, he slowly turned around to look at Makoto. He was smiling. 

“I don’t think you’re weak.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” Togami sniffled, scrunching his face into a frown. 

Naegi was all fuzzy. The blond’s vision was already blurry after he removed his glasses, but the tears in his eyes made it even harder to see. He could barely make out any of the other man’s features. Just his expression. He was still smiling, hand resting around Byakuya’s waist. They felt so close. Everything was okay. Makoto was there to listen to him. He was going to finally tell someone about all of the horrid things he went through while fighting for the company. And they were horrid. It was still affecting him, to the point where he broke down over hearing someone was proud of him. Togami’s childhood was void of any sort of love and support. Making connections seemed below him, because he never knew what it felt like. Byakuya never thought they were important because he didn’t know what he was missing out on. Having a connection this important to him after all these years was scary. But it certainly wasn’t something he was going to ruin for himself.

“When I was nine, I punched a mirror in my room. I remember hearing it shatter, and seeing all of the pieces drop to the floor. It wasn’t very expensive, just something to have.” Byakuya began, laying his head on Makoto’s shoulder.

Tears were still flowing. The blond pulled the sleeve of his hoodie over his hand to wipe his face as he spoke.

“After one of the maids took care of my hand, my father asked me to come to his study.” 

Makoto laid his head on Byakuya’s, signalling that he was listening.

“I told him I did it so he’d pay attention to me.”

Togami remembered like it had happened ten minutes ago. His hesitant footsteps through the corridor toward’s his fathers office. Cradling his bandaged hand while the maid that patched him up silently escorted him through the hallway. None of them had ever cared too much about Byakuya and his siblings, not that he could blame them. The poor servants were incredibly overworked, underpaid, and treated like dogs. And that kind of behaviour was encouraged. If he treated one of the maids like a human being, it resulted in a lecture about being above the rest of society. The former heir knew he wasn’t any better. Every single person who worked at the Togami estate hated their job with a burning passion. Conversations no one was supposed to hear behind closed doors always seemed to slip out. Talking about how spoiled each and every one him and his siblings were. How they would never face any hardships. Byakuya wanted to tell them. But they wouldn’t believe a word he said.

“He told me if I craved his attention so badly, I needed to stop being such a little bitch.” 

The words felt so wrong coming out of Togami’s mouth. As if he was the one saying them to himself. Byakuya had seemed to forget he was such an emotional kid. Set off by the littlest things, but immediately put back in his place. He grew up in an environment where emotions were punishable. No wonder he was so cold to anyone who thought with their heart as oppose to their head. The accountant wondered how long such a large part of his life would be shielded from him. If it weren’t for the world quite literally coming to an end, Byakuya would have went through life without feeling love. He would’ve never had a change of heart. Never realized that there’s so much more to life than money and status. And he wouldn’t have met Makoto. His world would have never flipped upside down. It was more strange than scary, life without Naegi. Togami couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what it would be like. He would have turned out.. a lot different. 

“I never knew wanting to be loved made you a little bitch.” 

“Tell me about it.” Byakuya laughed a little, wiping a few tears from his eyes.

Everything seemed to slow down. His crying, his breathing, and the atmosphere. It was oddly calm. The world always seemed to stop when he was around. The only thing that mattered was whatever they were talking about. Work, weekend plans, or anything else. It wasn’t just empty chatter with Naegi. Every interaction meant something. Byakuya could leave with something to remember. Makoto is the kind of person you can’t just forget about. Every encounter with the other man left Togami with something to think about that night. Usually before bed, where he’d daydream until the blond couldn’t keep his eyes open. It felt surreal to be able to be with Makoto in all the ways he’d imagined before. Finally trusting someone enough to pour all his feelings out to. And that person just so happened to be a keen listener with a big heart.

“I can’t even imagine how lonely you must’ve felt all the time.” Makoto sighed, gently pressing his face against Byakuya’s cheek.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner.” 

“I don’t think you’ll ever understand how grateful I am that you’re here now.” Byakuya cut him off before he could say anything else.

Makoto’s smile made his stomach flip. 

“You did it!”

“Hm? Did what?” Togami asked, sniffling quietly.

His tears had finally started to slow down. Byakuya’s entire body felt like it was going to shut down at any moment. The blond forgot how much energy it took to cry, like really cry. Even his legs were shaking as he sobbed into his hands. Years of bottled up emotion that definitely should have come out sooner were all on the table. Childhood memories, teenage angst and just about every other part of his life had all just come out. The former heir was so glad Makoto was the one to see him cry. Togami was in a hoodie, pyjama pants, and he had just the biggest cry of his life. It wasn’t lengthy, but it was incredibly taxing. The amount of emotion that had just fallen out within a matter of minutes made the blond’s head spin. It felt like forever, but it all went by so quickly. Byakuya tried to figure out what it was. His exhaustion from the day? Or maybe the exhaustion from constantly being plagued by things that happened years ago. He was just.. tired. Tired of letting everything get to him. Tired of holding everything in until he physically couldn’t. But Togami didn’t have to do that anymore, did he?

“You opened up. You should be proud of yourself.”

Huh. Maybe he was right.

“You think?” Byakuya chuckled, turning himself around to face Naegi.

The brunette wiped a few tears from Togami’s cheeks with his thumb. 

“I know.”

There it was again, that secret language. The silence between the two was filled with understanding. Makoto’s hand rested on the side of Byakuya’s cheek, just to have some sort of touch. The blond’s vision started to become a little clearer, although not by much. Naegi’s freckles came into view, perfect. All of his features suited the other man so well, the ones that Byakuya had memorized anyway. The way he’d scrunch his nose when he focused, or how he’d bite his nails if he was nervous. Togami wanted to learn all of his habits and quirks, so he could appreciate every one. This is the person he was meant to be with, wether pre-game Byakuya liked it or not. This wasn’t about him anymore. The blond wasn’t going to let his lowest point haunt him for any longer. There was no reason to. Maybe what other people thought really didn’t matter, even if it was an old version of himself. The version that would scoff at just about everything Byakuya did. But he was so happy. This was all he needed, so maybe it was time to start disregarding people that never did anything for him. Disregard his maids, his siblings and definitely his father.

“You’ll stay, won’t you?” 

“No, I wasn’t planning to stay after everything that just happened.”

“Get comfortable, smartass.” 

Naegi’s giggle made his heart soar. As the blond slowly left Makoto’s side, he made his way toward his room door. He watched as the brunette pulled the covers over himself, laying on one of the pillows.

“That’s my side.”

“Mine now.”

“Oh my god Naegi, would you move over?” Byakuya stifled a grin.

“Nope!” 

As the other man’s loud laugh bounced off the walls, Togami sighed trying his best not to laugh as well. God he was annoying. Locking the door, the blond pressed the light switch before moving back towards his bed. Well their bed now. There was no windows in any of the rooms, so it was pitch black. Byakuya could barely see his hands. Feeling around for the bed, Makoto seemed to pick up on him struggling. As the brunette reached his hand out, Togami gladly took it. The shorter man guided him into bed, where he reluctantly settled on the opposite side of Naegi. His eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness. The former heir could barely make out Makoto’s face, but it was slowly coming into view. His green eyes glazed over with something he couldn’t explain, and his lips slightly parted. The blond felt himself smiling, to which Nagei shifted a little in his place.

“What?”

“Nothing, you’re just pretty.” 

“Oh my god.” Naegi’s grin widened as he buried his head into the pillow.

Byakuya caved in, immediately bursting into laughter.

“Are we already doing this?” 

“Would you prefer we say different things?”

A slight pause.

“No. I guess I should say something too then.” The brunette giggled, turning to face Byakuya.

“Perhaps.”

Neagi took a deep breath before saying anything.

“When I first met you I thought you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” 

It was Byakuya’s turn to be flustered. That was the definition of cliche, but it was coming from Naegi. This wasn’t some movie scene with a script, this was really happening. The blond wondered if a movie kind of love was really possible. But then again, he had proven to himself that a lot of things that seemed pretty out there were possible. Togami could label himself as a nice person now, which is something he would’ve taken as criticism not even a year ago. It was so simple, genuinely wanting to be a better person had taken Byakuya in so many different directions. He was starting to feel comfortable with who he was, that was certainly something he didn’t expect. Wanting to be a little better towards other people had reflected onto him. Maybe Togami being a little nicer to himself would take him even further. He had a man with the future in his eyes right beside him. With him. The man that helped him realize he didn’t want to live out of spite. The man who helped him find his purpose.

“Did you really?”

“I still do! Whenever you talked to me I got butterflies.”

“What a coincidence.”

“I honestly thought you hated me at first.”

“Actually,” Byakuya started, wrapping an arm around Makoto’s waist to pull him closer.

“I think I was bitter towards you because you were a boy.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I didn’t know I liked boys.”

Byakuya didn’t know he liked anyone until he met Naegi. No one seemed to give him the time of day, and anyone who did just.. didn’t get it. No one understood quite like Naegi did. The person Togami would pick straight away. The one Byakuya wanted to spend what little free time he had with. The man he wanted to come home to. Read next to as he slowly drifted off. Laugh with until his stomach started to cramp. Dump random information about his niche interests to. The blond wanted to do all of the good things life had to offer with Naegi. He wanted to attempt to teach him bits of the languages he had learned as a child, probably to no avail. Byakuya wanted to vent to Naegi about all of the things that still seemed to bother him. And on the flip side, he wanted to tell Makoto about all of the things he was going to change about the world once it was restored. What the new norm would be. It shouldn’t matter that Makoto’s a man, it doesn’t. Although Togami had never felt any sort of attraction towards women, he’d grown up hearing nonsense about how ‘unnatural’ it was. 

“What would your family think? Did you hear anything about it growing up?”

Byakuya chuckled softly before replying.

“It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Unfortunately not.”

“That’s awful Byakuya. You know if it really was wrong, I don’t think I’d be this happy.” Makoto whispered, reaching for the blond’s free hand.

As their fingers interlocked, Naegi brought Byakuya’s hand to his lips. As the brunette placed gentle kisses along the back of his hand, he felt at home. This was definitely the way he wanted to keep things. Everything about tonight felt so sweet and affectionate. Although Togami had never experienced this kind of closeness before, it felt so right. Everything the pair had done tonight felt like it should have been that way since the very beginning. If only the blond would have swallowed his pride and realized he was in love. Thank god he knew now, Byakuya could not have gone any longer without Naegi by his side. As his.. person. That was fine for now. Labels weren’t necessary, as long as the feeling was there. And it most certainly was. There was no doubt in the former heir’s mind that his feelings wouldn’t stray at all. It had been constant love, and a strong one at that. Byakuya guessed letting it build for so long made it all the more satisfying to finally experience it.

“Hey.” Byakuya called, making sure to lower his tone. 

Makoto’s gaze flashed up to meet his, lips still pressed against Byakuya’s hand. As the blond lowered both of their hands, he leaned towards Naegi. The other man’s eyes fluttered shut, anticipating what was going to happen. As Byakuya kissed him, he made sure it was soft. Reassuring more or less. Just to let him know that all of those stupid things didn’t matter to him anymore. Not the comments about Byakuya liking boys, and certainly not what anybody else thought. All he cared about was Makoto, his friends and himself. The people who had been incredibly patient with Togami, and even the ones who hadn’t. But right now the former heir’s mind was fixed on the boy in his arms. The boy he was kissing slowly, just to show that he cared. This wasn’t just some mutual agreement for affection, Byakuya wanted all of his milestones to be with Naegi. All of the domestic things he usually did alone, the accountant wanted Makoto to fit into those things too. 

Byakuya was the one to pull away, but not very far back. The former heir could feel Makoto’s gentle breath on his face. 

“I don’t care about any of that. I care about you.” 

“I love you Byakuya.”

“I love you too, Makoto.” 

This really was like a movie scene. Like a trashy, poorly written romcom. And Togami loved every minute of it. Every glance, every laugh and every display of affection. It was like their own little world. One that they didn’t have to leave. For now at least. The world could wait. Byakuya never thought very highly of love at first, he didn’t think he ever would. It seemed so black and white. Awkward crushes and short, meaningless conversations followed by confessions. That led to what, holding hands? It all seemed so artificial. Like you picked the first person you found attractive and settled on them. Togami never really had a good representation of romance in his life, come to think of it he didn’t have one at all. He only saw the overused tropes in movies and books. He always assumed love was for lonely people who weren’t happy on their own. But it was so much more than that. Byakuya was glad he managed to figure that out through experience.

Byakuya wondered what the others would think of their relationship, he certainly wasn’t going to do a very good job of hiding it. He wanted everyone to know they belonged to each other. The word soulmate was definitely overused, but it seemed fitting for their situation. The blond wanted to hold hands on walks, give hello and goodbye kisses. He wanted to carry the shorter man when he got tired of walking. He wanted to do all of the things Makoto’s done for him. Help him change. Realize that there was nothing wrong with him. Know that there’s no wrong way to feel. Naegi has done more than words can explain for Byakuya, and the former heir wanted to repay the favour. If it weren’t for the smiling man in his arms, Togami would be who knows where talking to people who only cared about the money in his pocket. He would have never realized that he didn’t have to be such an asshole. That he was loveable. The blond never viewed himself as someone that could be loved. It seemed to unrealistic. There was no way someone would willingly pursue a relationship with such an egotistical prick. But that’s not who Byakuya was anymore. He really hoped that’s not all everyone made him out to be. Makoto made Togami realize that he was a real person. He wasn’t his father, his wealth and he certainly wasn’t his name.

“I think you should sleep here from now on.”

“Are you sure? I kick.” 

“I think I can handle a bit of twitching, you’re definitely worth it.” 

“I wonder what myself a year ago would say if I told him I was in love with the Togami heir.”

“Head of the Togami company.” 

Naegi giggled slightly before dropping his jaw into a yawn. God he’s adorable when he’s tired. 

“I’d probably perk up and go ‘oh the cute rich guy?’ I’m grateful I got to know you.” 

Togami chuckled at that. Cute rich guy huh? 

“And I’m grateful you gave me the chance. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you.” Byakuya whispered, trying his best to keep his eyes open.

Why didn’t he ever thank the brunette? He could go on for hours about all of the things Makoto has done for him. He gave Togami a chance to be himself. And made him realize that being himself was okay. Naegi taught him what real strength was, and pushed away the false idea of weakness. He makes Byakuya feel like he belongs. Like he has a place in the world, something he’s never felt before. Even sitting behind a desk trying to fix the world’s problems felt exiting when Makoto was there. Naegi made the blond romanticize the little things. Togami would never forget the first time the other man had waited in line for the shower with him. They had talked about the stars, and how you could see the Milky Way from just outside the office building. Naegi told him how much he was drawn to the stars as a child, and how he never really grew out of it. Byakuya wasn’t aware familiar with any of the constellations, but he thought maybe Makoto could show him. Stargazing didn’t exactly sound like it was up Togami’s ally, but he was starting to rethink a lot of things. Maybe sitting against that giant oak tree on the path home would be a nice spot. They’d be able to see the moon’s reflection off the water, and all of the stars would be right out in the open. The pair had nothing to do tomorrow evening, it sounded like a nice way to spend a Saturday night.

“What do you wanna thank me for?” Makoto raised a brow, eyelids slowly getting droopy. 

“Seeing through everything. Making me realize that I’m not so bad. You gave me a chance when no one else did.”

“Then I should thank you too. You never saw me as the kid who won a raffle. You believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.” Naegi whispered, eyes slowly closing.

And with that, the shorter man buried his face in the crook of Byakuya’s neck. The blond smiled fondly before kissing the top of his head.

“Goodnight my love. Thank you for giving me a future.” 

The last thing Byakuya saw was Makoto’s stubborn ahoge before the world slowly faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every single comment has been so incredibly sweet, and i can’t believe i’ve reached people like this. some of these things are drawn from my own experiences, and i had no idea people could relate this much. i appreciate every kudos and comment. i’m so exited to keep writing this story. i love you 💞💞


	9. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya finally can wake up next to Makoto, peacefully. He knew mornings with the other man wouldn’t be nearly as bad as they were alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️TW: bullying 
> 
> Hi! I’m sorry this chapter took so long to write, I’m actually not really happy with the way it turned out. I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m sure the next chapter will come out a lot better! Thank you so much for your support as always 💞

Togami’s eyes slowly fluttered open. The room was pitch black, and there was an empty feeling that consumed the blond. Makoto was gone. As Byakuya shot up, his eyes drifted to the light peaking out of his bathroom door. Thank god. The former heir turned his head towards the alarm clock on the nightstand. 4:03. He didn’t know Makoto silently slipping away to go to the washroom would disturb his sleep. He was already so dependent on the brunette. Needing the other man in his arms to get a good night’s rest. As the door handle started to turn, Byakuya squinted at the sudden light filling the room. Naegi quickly flipped the switch, rubbing his eyes. He lingered in the doorway for a moment. Makoto looked so.. human. It was such a normal thing to do. Get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Why was Byakuya so intrigued? The brunette constantly consumed his thoughts, but he had never seen him like this. The accountant was usually around the Makoto everyone else saw. Who Byakuya was incredibly fond of. But seeing him like this felt like an event. Something to remember.

“Miss me?” Makoto shot him a tired smile. His voice was raspy.

“Yes. Now get back here.” Byakuya grumbled, pulling the sheets back for the other man.

As Naegi stumbled back towards the bed, he seemed to fit so well in the accountant’s room. It simply looked like he was supposed to be there. Byakuya wondered what things he would find and fiddle with in his room. The brunette usually gravitated toward anything he could get a story out of. Maybe he would find Togami’s journal, but he’d be too scared to open it. A journal the blond hadn’t seemed to start writing in yet. He never saw much of a point in writing down his thoughts. What if someone found them? Used them against him? Byakuya certainly didn’t need anyone to find out that his head was filled with things that affected him and Naegi. The only two things the former heir could think about lately. It would stop eventually, he knew that. However he wanted one of those things to occupy his mind. He wanted more than anything to figure the rest of his life out with Makoto. To find out how couples really acted, and what worked the best for them. All in good time. It almost felt wrong to finally have something so important to him. But it wasn’t wrong, them being in love wasn’t a problem. 

“‘M cold.” Makoto mumbled, crawling into Byakuya’s bed.

“It’s because you left, come back.”

“Someone’s grumpy.”

“Would you come here already?” Byakuya laughed a little under his breath.

It was so pure, no wonder it felt so wrong at first. That was every insecurity Byakuya picked up on the way telling him that happiness was out of reach. Unachievable. The blond guessed his ego didn’t want to accept that Togami stumbled across his happiness by chance. As the shorter boy shifted closer to Byakuya, he slipped an arm around Makoto’s waist. Their legs simultaneously entangled, attempting to get as close to the other as possible. Naegi looked up at the blond for a moment, smile planted firmly on his lips. God Togami wanted to kiss him. Oh right, that was something he could do now. Just as the thought went through Byakuya’s head, Makoto’s lips were on his own. The former heir inhaled sharply, not expecting Makoto to lean in so fast. The kiss wasn’t desperate, just simply yearning to be close. The accountant was hopelessly attached to Naegi, not that he was complaining. They were together now, and it was going to stay that way.

As the two of them broke away, Byakuya leaned in toward’s Makoto’s ear.

“I’ve always wanted this. And now I have it.” The blond whispered, pressing his chest against the shorter man’s. 

He could feel Makoto shifting closer to him, closer than he was before anyway. 

“You’re so much more than I ever could have hoped for.” Byakuya continued, intending to speak the other man to sleep.

Which is exactly what he did. Byakuya never took himself for someone who whispered sweet nothings. It seemed pointless, saying empty phrases and making promises you couldn’t keep in an attempt to soothe someone who was eventually going to leave you. But this wasn’t like that. As the blond felt Makoto’s body slowly go limp into his, he felt complete. He was complete on his own, but he never expected someone to make him feel this whole. His heart was at ease with the brunette. As Togami gently kissed the top of his head, he couldn’t help but burry his face in the other man’s hair. Soft. And all over the place. It was perfect. The closest Byakuya would get to describing his scent was fresh baked bread. Naegi smelled like a hug felt. The former heir had never really felt the comfort of being held, but the had a lot of firsts that night. Well the previous night. Byakuya found himself almost exited to wake up next to the brunette. He got to see his eyes slowly open, and his stiff morning stretches. There’s nothing the blond wouldn’t give to see that every morning. And he eventually would. Togami soon fell asleep once more, a small grin subconsciously forming on his face.

The small pushes to Byakuya’s shoulder eventually pulled him out of his sleep. As he reluctantly opened one eye, Makoto was propped on his elbow looking down at him. Smiling of course. The blond groaned loudly before turning away from the boy attempting to wake him up. Pulling the sheets higher over his head, Neagi giggling before gently tugging at them. God what time was it. As Togami let his eyes wander around the room, he eventually found his alarm clock. 10:30, too early to be waking up on a Saturday. The accountant should have expected Makoto to be an early riser, it was written all over him. Bright and energetic in the mornings, somehow lasting throughout the day. The two of them woke up at the crack of dawn nearly every other day, so a little rest on the weekends should be a given. Maybe the crack of dawn was a little dramatic, but it sure felt like it. Byakuya hated the mornings with a burning passion, so much for waking up next to a sleeping Naegi. From their situation, Togami had a feeling the brunette would be the one to wake up first most mornings.

“Good morning!” Makoto beamed, brushing a few strands of blond hair out of Byakuya’s face.

God, how was he so chipper?

“‘S too early.” Togami mumbled, hesitantly turning to face the other man in his bed. 

“How about some coffee then?” The brunette offered, slowly slipping out of bed.

It was too cold without him there. Might as well get up. 

As Byakuya slowly made his way onto his elbows, a wide yawn made it’s way out. Things might go a little differently then he thought. Maybe he wouldn’t be the one to wake Makoto up in the mornings, but the blond certainly didn’t mind being on the other end. Makoto had already found the coffee maker in Togami’s room, searching the cupboards for mugs. He almost went to tell the other man where they were, but he wanted to see him wander around a little bit. Naegi was quick on his feet, watching him run back and forth around the room was quite entertaining. And very cute nonetheless. The brunette gave a triumphant hum as he found the cabinet with all of the cups. Makoto needed to go on his toes to reach the mugs from the cupboard. Now that was adorable. Too short to reach the top shelf. It had been the same at work, the boy stubbornly declaring that he could reach the shelf in the break room to get what he needed. Which always ended up with Byakuya snickering, swallowing his pride and getting whatever Makoto wanted. Little things that always seemed to make the blond’s day that much better.

“I’m surprised you can reach.” Byakuya teased, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

“And I’m surprised you’re saying that to the person who’s in charge of your drink!” Neagi shot back, arching his back to stretch. 

He really was the one. 

Both of their laugh’s filling the room, Togami made his way over toward the counter where Makoto was standing. Slowly wrapping his hands around the shorter man’s waist, he placed kisses along the side of his neck. Makoto immediately followed along, placing his hands over Byakuya’s. These were the mornings the blond had always yearned for. The ones where he didn’t need to tend to a million different people who all wanted something from him. Togami could do what he wanted now, no questions asked. And he wanted to hold the clueless, but incredibly intelligent boy in front of him. Some of the things Makoto said sometimes made the blond question everything. And others just made him laugh. There was no middle ground with Naegi, they were either talking about the deeper meaning behind something or arguing wether or not money was a social construct. Despite their arguments being pointless to the current state of the world, debating with Naegi was like nothing else. He was one of the only people to ever question Byakuya’s logic. And also one of the only people to really make him think.

“I need to brush my teeth.” Makoto said suddenly, making the blond laugh a bit.

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well yeah, I have to go back to my room to get changed.”

“But what if..” Togami started, squeezing Naegi a little tighter.

“You moved your things in here?” He asked, gently resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“I guess I should, huh? I don’t think I can sleep on my own anymore.” Naegi replied, slowly slipping out of Byakuya’s grip.

“Agreed.” 

As Makoto reached for the coffee pot, he carefully filled the two mugs. Handing one to Byakuya, the other man went scavenging for the sugar. As the blond took a sip of his coffee, Naegi stared at him in awestruck.

“What?”

“You take your coffee black?”

“Yes, and you waste at least five minutes every morning filling yours with sugar.”

“Because I want it to taste good!” 

Byakuya snickered as he took another sip. As the brunette proceeded to load his cup with sweetener, Togami made his way over to his nightstand for his glasses. Setting his mug down for a moment, he slipped the glasses back on his face. As everything slowly came into view, the former heir picked up on the state of his room. Bedsheets crumpled in a ball at the end of his bed, shoes tossed to the side. Makoto’s sugar packets on the counter, although he knew the other man would dispose of them soon. It wasn’t exactly a mess, just more roughed up than usual. Togami sighed as he picked up his shoes and put them back where they were supposed to be. He felt Makoto’s eyes on him as he made the bed. Was his room a mess? Probably. Knowing him there must blazers all over the floor, and socks in every corner of his room. No wonder he always complained about not being able to find things. Moron. The other man had been late for breakfast yesterday because he lost his shoe. God Byakuya was glad Makoto would be staying in his room. Maybe he’d be a little more organized. Though the blond highly doubted that.

“We should go to breakfast soon, I’m sure the others will be there as well.”

“Oh right! I guess we should. I’m gonna go to my room to get dressed quick.” Makoto set his cup on the counter, making his way towards Byakuya. 

The blond gently grasped Naegi’s wrist before he could make his way out.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Huh? Byakuya I’m coming back.”

“Can you at least kiss me before you leave?” Togami laughed a little, still holding onto the shorter man.

“Not right now! You have coffee breath, go brush your teeth.” 

“God you’re difficult, you know that?”

Makoto giggled before slipping out of his room, closing the door behind him. Byakuya stood there for a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him. This had been much better then any other morning he could remember. The former heir could finally feel again. And he was allowed to feel. The last time he hadn’t felt utterly numb was when he was a child, and back then he was crying all the time. The only positive came from the incredibly rare praise, which was usually backhanded. But he was happy now. And no one was out to get him. The blond didn’t have to constantly look over his shoulder anymore. Making his way over to the wardrobe, he opted for his usual formal attire. It made him feel comfortable, overdressing for the occasion. Maybe it was a habit to try and prove himself, he’d have to work on that. At least for today, he wouldn’t worry about it too much. Removing the hoodie and pyjama pants, Byakuya slipped into dress pants and a button-up as fast as he could. He didn’t want to keep Naegi waiting. Speak of the devil, a quiet knock at the door echoed through the room. Togami swiftly walked to the door, opening it for the boy on the other side.

“Hey! I brought some stuff,” The brunette started, shutting the door once again.

He was in his usual attire, casual hoodie and black jeans. He had cuffed his pants at the ankles, and rolled up the sleeves on his sweater.

“Wow..” 

Byakuya cocked a brow.

“What is it?”

“You look really pretty in just your dress shirt!” 

The former heir smiled a little before shutting his eyes. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the compliments. As many as he gave to Naegi, getting them in return was a completely different story.

“Yeah? Maybe I won’t wear my blazer today.” Byakuya stated, moving out of the way so Makoto could come in.

The brunette shuffled towards their now shared bed, tossing a few hoodies down. He then scurried to the bathroom to put away his toothbrush. Huh, it was almost like moving in together. Well the closest they could possibly get to it. Togami plopped down on the bed beside the clothes Naegi had brought in. He only brought hoodies. God he would have to run back to get all of his other clothes eventually. Byakuya ran his fingers through the material on one of the sweaters poking out from the bottom of the pile. The green caught his eye, so the blond figured he would take a look at it. As soon as Togami saw the hood, his heart skipped a beat. This was the hoodie Makoto had worn in Hope’s Peak. Haven’t seen that in a while. While it didn’t exactly bring back the fondest memories, it was certainly easier to look at than he thought it would be. The red fabric lining the zipper was all too familiar. He almost asked why the other man didn’t throw it out, but the inner fabric answered his question. It was so cozy. 

“Hey, have you brushed your teeth yet?” Makoto asked, poking his head out of the bathroom.

Togami snapped his head up to look at Naegi. Guess he was more focused than he thought.

“No, I’m right behind you.” The blond replied, tossing the hoodie aside.

As he pushed himself off of the bed, Makoto had already disappeared in the bathroom again. The former heir made his way over, walking straight to the bathroom counter. The brunette was an inch away from the mirror, toying with his hair. Naegi had a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, and drool dripping down his chin. Byakuya almost told him that it was going to get on his sweater, but he opted for laughing as quietly as possible until the other man realized. Wetting his own toothbrush, Togami watched the shorter man in the mirror. He was hopelessly trying to flatten his ahoge, and tuck all of the stray pieces away. He never understood why Makoto was so insecure about his hair. It was arguably his most noticeable feature, and definitely one of Byakuya’s favourites. It suited him. Poking out at every angle, never going one way. He hated to see him try to flatten it, it just wasn’t the same if it wasn’t going on fifty different directions. However it certainly wasn’t a rats nest. Despite the unruliness, Naegi’s hair was always well kept. It was clean, soft and smelled like shampoo.

“Stop trying to fix it, it looks good like that.” Togami mumbled, toothbrush still in his mouth.

“It’s so pointy though!” 

“And it’s cute. I like it like that.” 

“Thank you, you’re sweet. I guess I just never liked it.” 

“Hm? Why not?” Byakuya pried, leaning past the other man to spit in the sink. 

“Kids always made fun of me. I tried to ignore them, but they were pretty mean sometimes.” 

Togami had no idea Makoto was bullied in school. If he had gotten wind of it he probably would found some way to financially ruin their families. Little brats. Was it a common thing to experience? Byakuya distanced himself from everyone in school, insulting anyone who tried to get close. He had never payed attention to anyone other than himself really, so he never caught wind of any sort of bullying. The whole concept was pathetic. Picking on someone as a result of your own insecurities, you don’t get much lower then that. Maybe if the blond knew about anyone who was being targeted, he would have stuck up for them. It would have been for pride back then, but now it would be because he cared. The idea of someone being mercilessly targeted was disgusting, let alone someone so close to him. Byakuya almost felt angry, but there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that those ignorant morons were six feet underground by now. Makoto must have felt so isolated, like he didn’t have anyone to go to. Huh. The accountant was finding more similarities between the two of them as they spent more time together. And he wanted to spend as much time as possible with the other man.

“Worms for brains. Absolute idiots. What else did they say to you?” 

“It was usually about the way I looked. My height, my hair or anything else they didn’t like. I guess they weren’t big fans of me. I never did anything to them, so I figured they just didn’t have anything better to do.” Makoto sighed, rinsing his toothbrush in the sink.

“They sound insecure, all of them. Those are literally two of my favourite things about you.”

Naegi seemed to perk up at that.

“Really? I always just brushed them off as flaws”

“I don’t think they’re flaws. Your height makes it easier for me to see all of you. And I’ve always loved your hair. It’s spunky.” Togami explained, also rinsing his toothbrush. 

“Spunky?” Makoto laughed, turning to face the blond.

“Yes. It springs back up.” Byakuya giggled, running his hand over the other man’s ahoge. 

It popped straight back up, of course.

“I hate you.” 

“No you don’t. Can you kiss me now?”

“Fine.”

As the blond bent down slightly to kiss Makoto, the shorter man gently pressed his hands against Byakuya’s chest. They were so warm. Togami was always freezing, which is why the former heir always dressed in thick clothing. Byakuya was fully convinced he was cold blooded. He must not have noticed Naegi’s warmth the other night because they were both wrapped in blankets. But this feeling was new. His warm hands against the former heir’s chest as they kissed, it was another thing Togami never wanted to let go of. And he didn’t have to. Byakuya slowly wrapped his arm’s around the brunette’s neck, resting them on his shoulders. It was so peaceful. The accountant never thought he’d come to appreciate kissing someone in a tiny bathroom this much. Actually, he’d never thought he would appreciate someone this much in general. Their banter kept Togami on his feet, and the affection made him feel at home. It was a perfect balance. Relationships made up of purely affection seemed to boring. But the two of them had undeniable chemistry. Chemistry Byakuya thought was rivalry at first. Oh how far they’ve come since then. 

“You can’t wear it like that.” Makoto pulled away, keeping his hands firmly planted on Byakuya’s chest.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your shirt! You have the buttons done up all the way to the top. You don’t wear it like that unless you’re going to put on a tie and a blazer and stuff.”

“Since when did you start critiquing my fashion choices?”

“Since now, here.” 

Naegi giggled as he fiddled with the top button on Byakuya’s shirt. The brunette undid the top two buttons, making sure to fold the collar downwards. Togami could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Jesus, it was barely noon. Keep it together. 

“See! Look how much better it is now.”

Byakuya gave a playful scoff as he turned around to face the mirror. Holy shit. The blond almost did a double take as he fiddled with his collar. He looked.. really good. Togami was used to looking nice, the formal attire definitely did him some justice. But looking ‘nice’ and looking ‘good’ seemed to be different feelings now. The edge of his collarbones were peeking out of his dress shirt slightly. Byakuya showed a bit of his chest and suddenly he was confident. He had never felt this good in any of his suits. It seemed like an oddly casual look to feel so good in. The accountant could see his Adam’s Apple like this, something he almost always covered up otherwise. Togami had gotten so used to the seemingly modest high neck looks that left everything but his hands and his face covered. He felt so open like this. Like there wasn’t anything left to the imagination. God, he had only undone the first two buttons. Yet he felt really good like this. Even if it was such a minor change. The absence of his cross-tie certainly seemed like a big change. 

Byakuya could feel Makoto’s eyes on him as he rolled up his sleeves just below his elbows.

“And what are you looking at?”

“Mmm muscles.” Naegi stated bluntly, giving the blond’s arm a squeeze.

Togami burst into laughter, the other man following along. Makoto ran his hands up Byakuya’s forearms, then eventually sliding up towards his biceps. His lips slightly parted as he felt up the blond. It was almost embarrassing being inspected like this, but it was Naegi who was looking at him this closely. The two of them had seen each other on runs and such, usually training behind the living quarters. There wasn’t exactly a gym nearby, so the pair figured they’d make do. The other man had always worn hoodies and track pants when working out, most likely to sweat out any toxins. The two of them never planned to train together, them seeing each other was almost always coincidental. Basic things like pushups and sit-ups were all they could do, but Byakuya always admired Makoto’s endurance. Togami might’ve been stronger, but the shorter man could definitely out run him. The former heir never felt embarrassed when Naegi looked at him while he was working out, but it felt different this time. But then again, he might’ve been looking at Byakuya this way the whole time. Although the accountant was comfortable around Makoto, it didn’t stop the blood from rushing to Byakuya’s cheeks.

“Is this where all the protein you eat goes?” Makoto joked, giving the blond’s bicep a gentle squeeze.

He couldn’t help but flex. God this was embarrassing.

“I would hope so. Speaking of food, should we eat breakfast?”

“Are you embarrassed?”

Shit. He saw through it.

“To be honest, yes. And I’m hungry.” 

Naegi’s lighthearted laugh seemed to lift the mood. Just like it always did.

“There’s no need to be shy, it’s just me! But let’s go to the dining hall, maybe someone else will notice how strong you are.” Makoto teased, turning off the bathroom light.

Byakuya took one last glance at himself in the mirror. Was it that obvious he had been training? He couldn’t help but get a little boost of confidence when Makoto noticed. Although he would definitely have to work on getting so flustered when the other man felt him up. He wasn’t even doing anything weird for Christ’s sake. Just feeling his muscles. Ones that were apparently very noticeable. Maybe Naegi would be the only one to say anything. The blond was grateful being worried about his muscles was his biggest problem. There are most definitely worse things to be concerned about. Shutting the bathroom door, the two of them made their way out of Byakuya’s room. Grabbing his keys off the nightstand, he quickly locked the door before walking toward the dining hall with Makoto. Their hands interlocked almost immediately, chatting about who they would sit with at breakfast. Well more of a brunch by that point. It didn’t hit the blond that they were publicly holding hands until people’s eyes started drifting their way. Most just looks of acknowledgement, others glaring. But the former heir had no intention of letting go. Togami guessed he looked a little bothered, Makoto squeezing his hand made him look the other man’s way.

“It’s okay! I’m happy with you, and I want everyone else to know.” He beamed, nearing the doors of the cafeteria. 

God he was perfect. That was everything Byakuya ever wanted to hear. Shooting Neagi a grateful smile, the two of them pushed open the doors. Stopping for a moment, the pair scanned the room for possible places to sit. Kirigiri looked to be chatting with Asahina and Yasuhiro. Togami saw Makoto’s hand fly up, waving at the three of them. Kyoko was the first one to notice, looking down at their hands for a split second before flashing a smile. Asahina stood up from her chair to wave them over. Byakuya smiled at the three of them, being the first one to start walking over. Makoto followed along, much to his own delight. As the two of them reached the table, Hagakure grabbed two extra chairs from the table behind them. Huh. Togami felt welcome. It was weird to be wanted somewhere, just for his presence. Not his money, his status or anything superficial. The other survivors, no.. his friends wanted him there. As the pair sat down, they let go of each other’s hands. Yasuhiro seemed to be the only one that didn’t notice.

“When does the buffet open?” Makoto spoke up, resting his face in his hand.

“Noon, we have about ten minutes before we can eat.” Kyoko replied, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

“I can’t wait that long! I know they have late breakfasts on the weekends but I’m starving!” Aoi chimed in, resting both elbows on the table.

The atmosphere was nice, very peaceful.

“Togami! Nice muscles dude.” Hagakure piped up, arms neatly crossed on his chest.

Oh god. He could hear Makoto snicker from beside him.

“Shut up.”

“I told you! What, did you think I was lying?” 

The rest of breakfast followed with similar antics. Starting off with Byakuya slowly rolling his sleeves back down. Then Kirigiri trying so hard to keep her laugh under wraps, she spit out her tea. It was.. fun. The former heir couldn’t remember a single pleasant breakfast before the game. Even in Hope’s Peak the mornings were nice, even if he didn’t sit with the group right away. Togami felt wanted. They included him in whatever they were talking about, actually asking what the blond thought. Which is definitely something he would have to get used to. He had a gentle hand on Makoto’s knee for most of breakfast, to which the brunette placed his own hand over top. This is what Byakuya should have been doing a long time ago. This is what he was missing out on. Making connections and learning to view people as equals was doing him some good. And attempting to be nicer had been the best decision he had ever made. People were nice in return, which came as a shock to Byakuya. Everything was finally starting to fall into place. And it was okay. Perfect actually. 

It was almost too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love each and every one of you. I’m so shocked I haven’t cried yet from all of the support. Everyone I’ve met has been incredibly kind, and I appreciate all of you so much. I can’t thank you enough for supporting me and keeping up with this story 🥺💓


	10. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was over as quickly as it started. Gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! 
> 
> writing this chapter hurt SO bad. i knew i was going to write some sort of falling out, but i didn’t expect it to be this difficult. i promise it won’t be so angsty for very long, but the next couple of chapters are going to be similar to this one. i hope you enjoy this chapter, even if it broke my heart to write. 💞

It had been a month since the night Byakuya had told Makoto he loved him. The following Saturday the two of them went stargazing, and they had made it a habit. Sitting by the giant oak tree and gazing up at the sky had become like their date night. Each time they returned, the flowers had grown a little more. Naegi never stopped watering them, and they had grown to be quite beautiful. The pink petals sticking out like a sore thumb against the rest of the greenery. They had never officially put a label on anything, but their relationship had eventually became public. The other survivors were overwhelmingly supportive, Kyoko especially. The purple haired woman claimed she knew all along, which caused her and Byakuya to have a light hearted argument. Everything was perfect, not a single thing to complain about. Togami was the happiest he’s ever been, the other man sleeping in his room every night. It was almost scary how great things were. Not a single thing was out of place. Like a movie scene getting cleared after the first take, it just seemed so unusual. The blond had tried to push those thoughts away, but they never stopped creeping up on him.

“Hey! Ready to go?” Makoto asked, grabbing his jacket off the end of Byakuya’s bed.

It was Saturday, the two of them were going stargazing again. 

“Yes love, let’s head out.” The former heir replied, grabbing Naegi’s hand.

As the two of them left the room, Byakuya didn’t bother locking the door. He had stopped doing that lately. Makoto sleeping next to him made Togami feel safe, secure. He felt like he was on a cloud with the brunette. Work seemed to fly by, and there was never a dull moment with Naegi. They had fallen asleep reading next to each other countless times by now. Another thing they had found themselves doing quite often, the other man’s head on his shoulder scanning whatever book he happened to be invested in. The pair had shared hobbies now. Byakuya was still convinced everything going on around him wasn’t real. Or maybe that wasn’t it. He never wanted things to change with Makoto, but there was this weird feeling in his stomach as things got better. Every time something even remotely good happened, it was almost bittersweet. The blond was hopelessly in love, and he couldn’t put his finger on the weird emotion that seemed to interrupt his life. Everything was quite literally the best it has ever been. Togami was in a relationship he’s always dreamed of, he had gotten incredibly close with his friends and he had finally learned to open up. He was okay with talking about his issues now. Yet he kept this one to himself. He would until he could figure out what it was.

“It’s supposed to be a full moon tonight!” The shorter man mentioned, swinging their interlocked hands as they walked.

Byakuya smiled at that. Like the first night they were together.

“Lucky us. You think we’ll freeze like last time?”

“Oh right, has it already been that long?”

“It feels like we’ve been together for a lot longer.” Byakuya squeezed his hand.

“I love you, prince.”

“I love you too, angel.” 

The names would never fail to make Byakuya’s heart flutter. He had been the first to start using them, but when Naegi followed along it made it so much better. The blond used to scoff at the use of nicknames, but he was finally starting to understand. They meant something to him. It was more reassurance that the two were meant for each other. And they were definitely meant to be together. The odd feeling of dread was simply just insecurity, it would fade eventually. Or at least he hoped it would. This was normal in your first relationship, right? It definitely wasn’t doubt, Togami was certain that he wanted to be with the other man. He was also certain that he was in love with Makoto. And after many nights of long conversations until dawn, he knew for a fact Naegi felt the same way. So was it some sort of fear? That it wasn’t going to last? God he already knew Naegi was in it for the long run, there was no reason to end what they had. So what was this pit in his stomach whenever Togami was happy? And why wouldn’t it go away? As the two of them reached the doors to the living quarters, they pushed them open with a start.

So much for not freezing up.

The night was almost identical to the one they had walked home together. Moon shining excellently in the sky, lighting their path to the designated spot. Flowers blowing gently in the wind, it was like a moving painting. The reflection off the water made it look like it was sparkling. It was stunning, perfect for just admiring. Almost on cue, Byakuya titled his head to look at Makoto. Just like last time. Although he didn’t feel any shame for staring so obviously this time. Unruly hair being pushed back by the breeze, he could see all of the other man’s face. Freckles illuminated by the light, and green eyes shining accordingly. The blond would always swear Naegi had the stars in his eyes. That hopeful gleam had resided in his eyes every since they met. It never faded, not even a little bit. Makoto’s lips were slightly parted, they looked so soft. Byakuya wondered why he didn’t just grab him and kiss him that night, it seemed so weird to be that oblivious. He would laugh at his old self if he got the chance.

“Makoto look at me.” Byakuya broke the silence, squeezing the latter’s hand.

The brunette was gazing up at him, a puzzled expression on his face.

“You’re beautiful.” Togami spoke, placing his other hand on Makoto’s cheek.

The shorter man leaned into his touch, not breaking eye contact. This was supposed to be perfect. He was in love for Christ’s Sake. What could he possibly be worried about?

As if out of pure instinct, Naegi went up on his toes towards Byakuya. It was adorable. Togami was head over fucking heels. What was the issue? Smirking a little, the former heir leaned down to kiss him. It was as soft as he hoped it would be, everything he’s ever dreamed of. There was absolutely no reason for Togami to be overthinking this much. Just be happy. He should just look at what’s in front of him, not get stuck up in whatever is behind him. His head spun in a million different directions. The blond wanted to kiss Makoto for hours on end, but something was telling him he shouldn’t. It wasn’t fair. He just wanted to be with the person he loved, there shouldn’t be any sort of catch. There was nothing wrong on Makoto’s end, or else he would have told him about it. Which broke the former heir’s heart even more. He should tell the other man what was going on. But what was going on? God he hated being this clueless. This was just.. stupid. Pointless and unnecessary. 

“You okay?” Makoto pulled away, eyes seeming to cloud over with concern.

Shit. He always knew.

“Of course, let’s head over.” Byakuya lied, smiling to cover his guilt.

This was stupid. Just be with the love of your life. As their hands interlocked once more, Togami felt like his heart was going to fall out of his ass. He was being distant, and Makoto didn’t want to press the issue. But there wasn’t... there was no issue. Nothing to be so distant over. The blond being this worked up over nothing was utterly pathetic. Byakuya was becoming incredibly frustrated with himself, god he should be aware of his feelings by now. And this one was growing as time went on. They walked in silence, but it wasn’t comfortable as it usually was. Byakuya’s insecurity was now affecting one of his favourite parts of their relationship. Their ability to be in silence for hours without it being awkward. God he wanted whatever this was to stop. He didn’t know what it was, which made it even worse. The most important thing in his life, and the person he valued the most were going to slip away. He couldn’t. He had to stay. God please stay.

Oh, so that’s what it was. Byakuya thought Makoto was going to leave. But he wasn’t. Would he? No. But god could he leave?

“I haven’t seen you this worked up since I told you about the tactics guy lying about you passing on a mission!” Makoto joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Apologies, I’m lost in thought is all.” 

“Apologies? Byakuya what’s wrong?” The brunette asked, worry lacing his tone.

You’re going to leave me eventually, and I wouldn’t even blame you if you did.

“I’m sorry love, I’m just stressed about work. It seems like everything needs to be repaired lately, people’s mistakes are costing me more than you can imagine.” Togami sighed, tightening his grip on Naegi’s hand.

“Ah you’re stressed! You know you can always talk to me. Maybe when we get back I can give you a massage! I bet your shoulders are stiff from being slumped over a desk all day.” Makoto brought the blond’s hand up to his lips, gently kissing it before looking up at him.

What did he do to deserve someone like Makoto? Nothing. And he didn’t deserve him. God this was all old shit from the past he had already resolved. Why was it coming back to bite him? Had he really resolved it, or did he just push it down even further? The swirl of emotions Byakuya usually felt around the other man had a few more thrown in. He felt warm, exited to be with the person he loved and a crippling guilt. Makoto should have never gotten involved with him. He would just ruin things for himself anyway. These thoughts were all to familiar to what he had experienced as a child. Pushing everyone away so they wouldn’t find out how scared he was. Scared of everything. Getting too close, feeling too hard. He thought Makoto getting close was okay. God this was so unfair. Byakuya just wanted to be happy, was that really out of his reach? He was finally okay. Content with himself and his life. Learning how to love. It always had to end, didn’t it? Was it going to end anyway? Please don’t end. He didn’t want it to go away. 

“Thank you. Tell me about your day sweetheart.” Byakuya quickly changed the subject, glancing down at Makoto. 

He always loved the way the brunette would perk up from hearing that name in particular. 

“Sure! You know that broken fax machine on the second floor?” 

As Naegi went on to talk about his day, Byakuya could feel a giant pit of emotion dwelling in his stomach. This is all he’s ever wanted. And he has it. Why do his insecurities always seem to ruin things for him? He wasn’t going to let them ruin his relationship. It was too important to him. Makoto was too important to him. Was he really going to leave? Togami couldn’t figure out why the brunette would even want to leave. He had never said anything even remotely similar to “I don’t want to be with you.” Quite the opposite actually. Naegi was always going on about how happy he was and how much he appreciated Byakuya. God these negative thoughts were coming out of thin air. What if Makoto was saying that because he pitied him? Or what if he was just staying for the affection? No, he wasn’t that selfish. He wasn’t selfish to begin with. Jesus, was there someone better for him? The former heir was surprised he wasn’t sick to his stomach from the thought alone. Makoto told him that he couldn’t imagine spending his time with anyone else. But was Togami the best person he could be spending his time with?

Jesus, he wasn’t. There was probably someone so much better out there for the man holding Byakuya’s hand. Someone less arrogant, and with a lot less baggage. The blond’s insecurity was bound to drive Naegi away at some point, wasn’t it? Probably not.. but the more the thought about it, the more sense it made. Makoto Naegi was definitely patient. But he shouldn’t have to be. The brunette shouldn’t have to be comforting someone and assuring them that he isn’t going to leave. That should be a given. Was Togami too needy? High maintenance? He should be responsible for his own emotions, having feelings like this was pathetic. Huh, it seems like his old habits made themselves present at the perfect time. Typical. That cynical, self centred state of mind. Go away. It had absolutely no place in Byakuya’s head. He was happy now. He knew how to open up now, he didn’t push people away when they wanted to get to know him anymore. He was a better person now, he didn’t want to reverse everything he had worked so hard for. Being nicer and more open with his emotions, the blond worked his whole life to finally be able to do that. Please, just go away. Byakuya was convinced that awful thought pattern was gone.

“Let’s go sit! I can see the view from in between the trees, I think we picked the best night to come.” Makoto dragged him along, brushing past all of the bushes blocking their path.

As the two of them finally got to the oak tree, Byakuya was stunned. It was gorgeous. 

“Makoto, this is..” The blond started, rubbing his thumb along the other’s hand. 

“Yeah..” Naegi finished, letting his back rest against the large trunk as they sat down.

As the both of them managed to get comfortable, Makoto laid his head on Byakuya’s shoulder. Usually he’d wrap his arm around the shorter man, but he opted for leaning his head against the other’s. The view was like nothing the blond had ever seen. It seemed like the stars were shining a little brighter, reflecting beautifully off the water. The lake was calm, not a ripple in sight. It almost looked like glass, reflecting such a clear picture. The moon was as big as ever, full and blindingly bright. Togami could see everything clearly in front of him. Even the grass they sat on was bright enough to pick out each individual blade. Unlike usual, the accountant kept his eyes on the view in front of him as oppose to the one beside him. He quite literally thought he would burst into tears if he looked the brunette’s way. Makoto sighed calmly against his shoulder, taking in the beautiful night. This really was one of Byakuya’s favourite things to do, especially because Naegi was with him. Stargazing alone is never the same. Out of all the times Togami glanced out of his window yearning more something more, it had never been as satisfying and peaceful as it was with the other man. Although this time wasn’t exactly peaceful.

“You know I love you.” Makoto whispered, snuggling closer against Byakuya.

Yes. Yes of course. And I want nothing more than to be with you. 

“And I love you too.” Byakuya mumbled, giving the shorter man a kiss on the temple.

He looked unsatisfied, rightfully so. Yet he still said nothing.

The blond wondered how long this would go on for, he just wanted it to stop. Byakuya refused to let their relationship turn into a vicious cycle of knowing something is wrong with the other, not bringing it up and pushing it to the side until it became an issue. Although it wasn’t an issue yet, Togami had a feeling Makoto would eventually get it out of him. But what could he possibly say? Tell him that their relationship was bound to end and that there was someone better for Naegi? That sounded ridiculous, even in his head. That’s exactly what it was. Outrageous and insecure. Not based on any sort of evidence or cues. The brunette had gave him nothing but love, support and encouragement throughout their entire relationship. As well as their friendship. Even when Togami was insulting his every action, the other man still believed in him. God that was awful, wasn’t it? Byakuya had been so horrible to him, and he showed him an overwhelming amount of kindness. Knowing him, Makoto would still love him even if he still was an asshole. That just seemed unfair to him. Yes, that’s what it was. Naegi deserved to be with someone who wasn’t.. a total piece of shit.

Man, he really was pathetic. 

Byakuya loved him, more than anything. Makoto was the best that ever happened to him. He made a home in the account’s mind the first time they laid eyes on each other, and he hasn’t left since. He was special, the only person he had wanted to be around this badly. And Byakuya certainly met his fair share of people who thought they could change his life. But none of them did. Naegi was the one to make him realize that being so cold all the time wasn’t equal to strength, and taught him what it actually was. Being strong was being honest with how you feel, and not beating yourself up for it. Funny, that’s the exact opposite of what he was doing. Which made him feel a lot worse about himself when he thought about it. It hurt. It hurt so bad to think like this. The other man had nothing to do with it, it was Byakuya’s problem. So why did their relationship suddenly get roped into it? Because of Togami’s fear of ending up alone? Did it even matter? What if Makoto left him eventually? God, should he have realized this sooner?

The silence growing between the two of them was to put it simply, incredibly painful. Togami wanted him to talk, but he didn’t. Because if Makoto talked, he’d fall deeper in love. It would make it harder for Byakuya to realize that he was going to break it off sooner or later. That’s how all relationships ended, didn’t they? Nothing was ever permanent, that was just unrealistic. Moron. The blond convincing himself that their relationship would last was wishful thinking. He knew Naegi was the one, there was no doubt about that. But something was bound to get in between them. It happened with every single person Byakuya made the mistake of letting in. However letting Makoto in never felt like a mistake. It still didn’t. It was just one more thing that would make it harder for Byakuya to come to terms with the inevitable downfall of being in love. He had never loved before, the former heir was bound to mess it up in one way or another. God it hurts. It’s so unfair. He didn’t want it to end. Was it really going to wether he liked it or not?

“You look like you saw a ghost,” Makoto’s breath hitched as he spoke.

“I’m sorry people are stressing you out this much. But you know if you frown you’ll get wrinkles.” The other man teased, once again trying to take the tension out of the air.

The blond let out a small laugh.

“So then I’ll look like Yasuhiro.”

“Byakuya!” 

Naegi nudged his elbow into the taller man’s side, making him laugh even harder. It was moments like those Byakuya knew he would miss the most. Did it really have to end? Was it really going to end? 

“Oh please, he knows he looks like he’s pushing thirty.”

“I guess you’re right. You should see the way he squints when he reads. I guess if he goes along with the joke, maybe it’s alright.”

That made Byakuya snicker. Makoto’s jokes were never mean spirited, but always witty. His sense of humour is also something Togami would think about on a daily basis after it was all over. The brunette always got the last word, it was something more to love about him. Their banter always kept the former heir on his toes, usually losing to Makoto. The only person he was okay with losing to. Naegi always knew what to say, especially when it counted. No matter what Togami was feeling, the boy’s optimistic advice always pulled him out of a hole. Makoto talked in a way that made you believe everything he said. He could tell you the earth was flat and you’d be none the wiser. It was mesmerizing to watch the other man give one of his speeches, they were never artificial. Naegi always spoke from the heart, and never failed to reach people. No matter who you are or where you came from, the brunette would give you everything he had. He was always the type to put others before himself, even at his own expense. 

That was one thing Togami was actually able to help him with. For the month they had been together, the blond noticed Makoto learning how to assert himself more than he ever had before. One meeting in particular stuck out, everyone had been speaking over him. The other man tried to interject a few times, to no avail. Byakuya watched as he grew frustrated, being spoken over like that. The accountant recalled a few times where Asahina had complained about the same thing, being dismissed. Togami was almost about to step in right as Makoto commanded the attention of everyone in the room. Showing no signs of disrespect or anger, he clearly spoke his mind and shared his ideas. Byakuya remembered being surprised how quickly Naegi could get someone’s attention if he really wanted it. For being labelled as boring, he sure had Byakuya’s attention no matter what he did. The blond was grateful Makoto could take something away from their time together.

“You remind me of a teacher I had when I was little.” Makoto chuckled a little, bringing one knee into his chest.

“Yeah? And what were they like?”

“She was super strict, and no one really liked her at first.”

“Thanks.” Byakuya giggled, looking directly at the moon. 

“Let me finish! I promise this is going somewhere.”

“Alright alright.” The blond gave in, listening intently.

“She was mean to everyone except for this one kid. He always stayed after school, and people called him the teachers pet. My dad was a little late picking me up one day, so I looked through the classroom door. She made him smile more then I had ever seen him in class.”

Togami couldn’t help but wonder what direction his story would take.

“Then the two of them walked out of the classroom to her car. I saw her back at the school by herself just when my dad picked me up. She had driven him home every day because his parents never bothered to pick him up.” Makoto continued, picking at the skin on his fingers.

“And she reminds you of me?” 

“She wasn’t the awful person everyone made her out to be. She was generous and she cared about all of her students. She was only strict because she didn’t want us getting in trouble with anyone else.” 

“I think I’m rambling. There was just so much good in her, even if she didn’t seem that way.” He finished, tone picking up at the end of his sentence.

So Makoto really thought that there was good in Byakuya’s heart. He really wanted it to be that way. Did he know what he was thinking? He swore the brunette could read minds. Everything aside, the story made Togami.. upset. Of course it was meant to be a huge compliment, calling him a good hearted person. Yet it felt so wrong. Togami didn’t exactly think he was a bad person, but he didn’t think he was a great one either. Had he given Makoto the wrong idea? Did he convince the other man that he was this wounded soul with a heart of gold? He was definitely overthinking this. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He hadn’t lied to Naegi, not once. And he certainly didn’t paint this false narrative that he was a hero. He had shown the boy the ugliest parts of himself, and he still somehow seemed to love him. Togami had no idea how to reply, so he opted for sitting in silence. He knew that was a dick move, he should thank Makoto. Maybe if the brunette thought Byakuya was becoming the person he used to be, he could leave without getting hurt. He was bound to revert back to his old habits anyway, right? God, he didn’t want to. 

“We should go back.” Byakuya blurted out, coming out of his comfortable position rather quickly. 

Makoto almost fell over. Good lord Togami was awful.

“Huh? Okay!” The brunette laughed under his breath before following Byakuya. 

They locked pinkies as the two of them began to make their way back to the living quarters. Wow. A perfect date ruined by Byakuya’s shortcomings. He hoped Makoto had enjoyed their outing just a little bit. They were going to end eventually. But.. was eventually going to be now? That thought scared the former heir more than anything. It wasn’t better off that way, was it? If the two of them broke things off now, maybe Makoto would recover faster and live his life. Without Togami. No. He didn’t want to let go. This was so unfair. If Byakuya had just been a better person maybe it would have worked out. He wanted to stay so badly. He hated the fact that Makoto loved him. That was a lie. Byakuya hated that it would eventually end. Nagei definitely deserved happiness. Why did he pick the worst person imaginable to find that happiness with? This couldn’t have been avoidable. Was being in love just destined to make him hurt this much? This must have been what his family warned him about.

Were they right all along? God even thinking like this made the blond’s heart shatter. So they really meant it when they said love hurts, didn’t they? He didn’t want to let go. God he’d rather do anything then push Naegi away. He wanted everything to stay how it was, because it was perfect that way. Their meals spent together, coming home to the other after a bad day. After any day for that matter. Togami just wanted to come home to him. To the person he loved. He would do just about anything to see Makoto smile. He knew that their relationship made him happy, but there was no way it was going to last, right? It was like everything he’d heard, happiness was always temporary. Nothing lasts forever. No matter how in love the former heir was, their relationship wouldn’t last. His insecurities would push Makoto away somehow. And the brunette should be with someone who didn’t have a ton of emotional setbacks. 

As the two of them reached the living quarters, Byakuya scanned his ID card quickly before pushing open the doors, letting go of Makoto’s finger. Their walk to the accountant’s room was silent. It was going to be better this way. Well, no it wasn’t.

What was he thinking?

Unlocking the door, the brunette made his way inside behind Byakuya.

“Actually, do you think we could sleep in our own rooms tonight?” Togami choked out.

No. This was wrong. There was no need for this. Makoto wasn’t going to leave.

“Okay, what is your problem?” Makoto raised his tone before shutting the door behind the two of them.

His arms were crossed, his brows furrowed. Byakuya could barely bring himself to speak, and he didn’t have to.

“I know it’s not work, because when I tried to talk to you about something else you just ignored me. You know you can talk to me! Why are you pushing me away?” Naegi let his arms fly up as he spoke.

God, why was he doing this? Just tell him that you need reassurance. You idiot, you’re going to lose the most important thing in your life.

“I can’t do this anymore.” The blond spat, whipping around to face him. 

Oh my god. He expected Makoto to look angry, furious actually. 

The boy in front of him looked crushed. Tears immediately welling up in his eyes, jaw dropped to the floor. 

He knew this was wrong. Everything Togami was thinking had been bullshit. If this was really for the better, would Makoto be this upset? Would he be this upset? Byakuya hadn’t felt this guilty since Aoi had slapped him during their time at Hope’s Peak. He didn’t mean anything he was saying. He just wanted Makoto to stay. To be with him forever. But it seemed to unrealistic. Was it really destined to fail? Or was that years of pressure and manipulation throwing themselves into the situation? God that wasn’t an excuse. He just wanted Makoto to be happy. And for him to finally feel good about his miserable life. For once he wasn’t constantly in distress, and he had to fuck it up for himself. Just stop. He could stop right there. But the words were flowing out of him beyond his control. He didn’t have to make things to difficult for himself all of the time. Why did he feel such an urge to destroy anything in his life that made him happy?

“What do you mean you can’t do this? Is it me?”

“No, I-“

“Byakuya I love you!” 

“You don’t love me!” The former heir shot back, balling his hands to his fists.

Yes he does. He knew for a fact Makoto loved him. Shut up. Stop talking. Nothing that came out of Byakuya’s mouth was true. 

“Who are you to tell me that? Have you not heard anything I’ve said to you for the past month? I’m in love with you!” Makoto was crying now, hastily wiping tears from his eyes.

He was right. Byakuya had no argument against the brunette. He didn’t want to argue. He should have just apologized right there. God he didn’t want Makoto to leave. Not now. Not ever.

“So what, that’s it? Did all of this mean nothing to you?” Naegi cried, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his jacket. 

“I guess not.” 

That was a lie. And a really awful one at that. He was being so mean. God he didn’t really mean any of this. Makoto would be better off without him. But he wouldn’t. The entire situation was so stupid. All because Byakuya couldn’t fathom being loved. 

“This was going to end anyway. It was just a matter of when.” 

“Oh my god, do you listen to anything other than the sound of your own voice?”

That. That hurt. A lot. And the worst part is Byakuya knew he deserved it. He deserved every nasty thing Makoto was about to say to him. If he was going to say anything else. Togami wouldn’t blame the other man if he slapped him straight across the face. He was being absolutely awful for no reason. This could have been easily prevented if Byakuya would just accept that happiness was something that he could have. But of course it wasn’t that easy. He had to go out of his way to fuck up the best thing in his life because he was insecure. He was an asshole, and he knew it. Maybe he hadn’t grown. His efforts were really for nothing. God he hoped he had at least grown past the childish self sabotage. This was so stupid. He went and ruined a perfectly healthy and fulfilling relationship for what? Hope that Makoto would find something better? Byakuya wanted to be better for him, and for himself. Yet after everything, he still managed to fall back into a pit. Laughable.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Nothing lasts forever. It wouldn’t have been in either of our best interest’s to pursue something that would have ended.”

“That’s so unfair! If you would just talk about these things, I can help you with them!” 

He was being so selfish. It was ridiculous. Byakuya was ending a relationship because he didn’t want it to be over. What kind of logic is that?

“I don’t need you to help with my problems.” 

Naegi was nearly sobbing by that point.

“You really haven’t changed.” 

That was it. 

“Get out.” 

“Byakuya!”

“I said leave!” Togami barked, his voice echoing throughout the room. 

He watched Naegi jump, and wanted to kick himself. He really was a piece of shit. 

The other man scoffed before turning on his heel. Byakuya dropped to his knees after he heard the door slam. He had just ruined the best thing in his life. The source of his happiness, the reason he was looking forward to the future. The tears flowed freely out of his eyes like a tap. He had no one but himself to blame. The best month of his life, filled with pure bliss, down the drain. It was all for nothing. God it hurt so bad. All of this was avoidable. Being with someone is fun until your own ignorance gets in the way. The former heir refused to feel sorry for himself, just acknowledging that he fucked up. Really bad. This quite possibly was the biggest mistake Byakuya had ever made. He went and ruined something so precious to him because he was scared it would end. It made no sense and he knew it. The entire situation was awful. God he missed Makoto already. His smile, the feeling of him in his arms, but that was all gone now. Because of Togami’s insecurity. Naegi was gone. He left because Byakuya drove him away. Maybe Makoto was right, the blond hadn’t changed a bit. 

Huh.

Old habits really do die hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much as always for the overwhelming support you have given me. i love all of you, and i can’t wait to continue this story. 💞


	11. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world doesn’t seem as bright as it used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️Meal skipping (This is minor, but he does collapse near the end from overworking himself)
> 
> Hi! I’m so sorry this chapter took such a long time to come out, I took a small break after I wrote the last one. But I’m back into the swing of things now!

So what now?

Byakuya had just completely obliterated any chance of happiness. A perfect relationship right in front of him, utterly ruined by his own insecurity. Useless. The blond was still on his knees, sobbing like a child. He would probably wince if he saw himself, he must have looked so pathetic. Jaw hanging open, loud sobs escaping his lips with every inhale. Tears were freely running down his cheeks, collecting at the bottom of his chin before falling. The former heir couldn’t be bothered to wipe his face, or do anything for that matter. He was a sad excuse for a man. Togami began to shake, a crippling wave of emotions ripping through his body. Although it didn’t really feel like his body anymore. Vessel was a better word. Byakuya could have sworn his body wasn’t his own in that moment, he felt as if he was watching from a distance. Falling forward on his hands, he let out a series of loud cries. It almost sounded muffled, everything else seemed to fade around him. The blond didn’t dare think of the past events, he might not have been able to get off the floor if he did. However, he didn’t think he would be able to get up anyhow.

Togami let his forehead rest against the cold floor of his room. In that moment, he lost it. His fist crashing down against the floor, not having any control of himself. The accountant had been used to going on a sort of auto-pilot for work, but this was a different story. Byakuya could feel himself going through the motions, but he felt as if someone else was crying. This was so unlike him. There were a few stray tears hanging just below his chin, but the blond couldn’t bring himself to wipe them. He wondered if this was what Junko was always going on about. The feeling of despair was one of the most intense emotions Togami had ever experienced. There wasn’t a sliver of hope in his mindset, how could their be? He had just thrown away the love of his life because he was so scared of abandonment. Idiot. God none of this was fair. He never wanted to feel like this again, why did the deranged mastermind of Hope’s Peak stop at nothing to achieve this feeling? Hopelessness. Disappointment. And so much regret. This should have never happened. And it was all Byakuya’s fault.

The former heir remained on the floor for what felt like hours. After his mind wandered to Makoto, Togami was doomed to that position for a while longer. The brunette must have felt awful. Knowing him, he would blame himself and try to apologize. That was the farthest thing from what should happen. Byakuya knew he needed to apologize, but then what? They would never be the same. Their dynamic would vanish, it was already long gone. Neagi would forgive him eventually, then they wouldn’t be able to speak anymore. It would be awkward, quiet. To know that they had so much love broke the blond’s heart. He loved Makoto. He was in love with Makoto. Byakuya never wanted to spend his life with anyone else, and he never wanted Naegi to either. He knew deep down that there was definitely someone better for the brunette, but he was selfish. Togami wanted Makoto all to himself. He swore he would do anything in his power to keep the other boy happy, no matter what. It was the least he could do, Naegi seemed to keep him happy no matter what he did. The former heir had planned to surprise him with coffee, flowers and whatever else he could find. So much for that.

Byakuya almost found himself thinking that his current circumstances were unfair, but that wasn’t the right word. He had made that happen. It was his fault, there was nothing unfair about it. 

Maybe it was time to get up.

Still crying beyond control, the former heir attempted to put his weight on his elbows. Togami was shocked we was able to get a grip on himself. Next came getting up on his knees, and reluctantly to his feet. Standing in front of the entrance to his room, Byakuya couldn’t seem to take his eyes of the door. The door Makoto had slammed in his face god knows how long ago. How long was Byakuya sobbing on the floor? God he couldn’t bring himself to care. His body was telling him to go, anywhere but here. However Byakuya’s feet seemed to be glued to the floor. As his vision went hazy, the accountant’s mind flew in a million different directions. Togami still felt like he was a husk. A shell of what he once was. He didn’t seem to have any control over his body, eyes still locked on his room door. He wanted to move. Wash his face, and sleep forever. Yet the former heir quite literally couldn’t bring himself to move. What was the point? The love of his life had been swept away from his grip. And for what? Absolutely nothing. A silly fear that seemed to take over everything he did.

The fear of being alone.

Solitude was always a large part of Byakuya’s life, wether he liked it or not. The former heir was destined to be alone, fighting for himself. When you’re raised in such an intense, cut throat environment, the only person you can trust is yourself. Togami was safest alone. Trust wasn’t something he gave out very often, if ever. Even his siblings were bound to stab him in the back if it meant surpassing him. Which they did. Reading alone seemed to be the only type of peace the blond could ever achieve. Focused on the pages in front of him, he could escape to a different world. Researching subjects he was passionate about, it was something he actually enjoyed. Although he never had much time to unwind, Byakuya took every chance he got to be alone with his nose buried in whatever seemed interesting. He knew it wasn’t the books he enjoyed so much. It was the safety of being able to get away. Funny, the one thing he didn’t want to escape had left him the fastest. Well, he pushed it away. Insecurities were just more weakness. Togami swore he would never let something so dense ruin his life again.

But it was too late now. 

As Byakuya’s surroundings started to come back into view, he shook his head a few times. He didn’t bother checking the time as he trudged over toward the bathroom, dragging his feet along the tile floor. It was all so pointless now. Everything. The blond felt around the wall for the light switch, not able to look up from his shoes just yet. When the three lights above the mirror lit up, Togami gently pushed his hands against the sink, taking a few deep breaths. Byakuya thought he was going to puke when he finally looked up. For the first time in years, the mirror seemed unfamiliar. He may have had issues, but Byakuya Togami knew who he was. Frazzled blond hair from gripping it as he sobbed, and vibrant red cheeks. Tears still stained his face, and his eyeglasses were nearly at the bottom of his nose. To put it simply, he looked awful. Undignified. Weak. As the accountant leaned closer to his mirror, he placed a hesitant ring finger under his puffy eyes. His face was hot. Togami couldn’t stop himself from leaning in further. No less than an inch away from the mirror, he stared.

It was almost as if he saw through his body. Byakuya saw his exhausted expression, his thoughts, his pain and emotions. It was like an out of body experience. The blond had truly seen himself for the first time. It was all laid out in front of him.

And he hated it. 

Togami had a mountain of potential in front of him, and he had decided to throw it all away. He really was getting better. So much so that his colleagues had noticed. His friends. His love. God he missed Makoto. The blond pressed his hand against the mirror, making sure his palm could feel the cool temperature of the glass. He almost wanted to break it. This time it wouldn’t be for the attention of someone else. It would be because he couldn’t bring himself to look at his reflection anymore. Maybe it was his knees giving out that stopped him from shattering the glass. Or self control, but Byakuya highly doubted that. Gripping the sink for balance, he put his head in his knees. It was all for nothing. All of this build up that made Togami feel so whole, it had all gone to waste. The former heir would never forget the nights spent with Naegi. Those were his favourite. The brunette was an incredible listener, and would hear Byakuya go on for hours about whatever niche subject he had an odd amount of knowledge about. Togami had the other man’s voice on loop in his head since he stormed out.

Nagei’s voice would always be Byakuya’s favourite thing to hear. The circumstances never mattered, as long as he could hear him. Wether it be to cry out the former heir’s name, or to talk about his day. Makoto always spoke with so much passion. The other boy wore his emotions on his sleeve, Togami’s perfect counterpart. Makoto seemed to feel too much, and Byakuya too little. They both knew it wasn’t the reality, but that seemed to be what everyone thought their dynamic was. Naegi was so complex, more than anyone else gave him credit for. God he has ideas, hopes and dreams. For someone so ‘ordinary,’ he leaves you thinking about him for weeks. The brunette was anything but ordinary. He was such a perfect match for Byakuya, it was almost laughable. They bounced off of each other so well, and their banter always kept them both on their toes. Makoto was what he needed. What he wanted, and with him he was content. Their relationship was nothing but bliss, disagreements never led to conflict. The blond would never be able to find anyone better. Makoto was the one.

God, what have I done?

•

Togami hated the rain. More than anything. It upset him more than it should, it always ruined any sort of plans he had. Such a pain. As the accountant sat in his office, the gentle taps on his window made him sigh. As they became more rapid, Byakuya let out a groan as he rested his head in his hand. He would have to walk home with Makoto in this awful weather. Both of their suits would be soaked, and they’d have to put them in the wash before morning. Togami’s glasses would fog up with the humidity, and be covered in water droplets. Nothing good ever came with rain. The atmosphere always seemed to drop, and everyone always seemed to be a little moodier. Byakuya was no exception. As he tilted his head towards the clock, he realized the day was almost over. Great. The rain certainly wasn’t going to stop within the next ten minutes. As the blond logged out of his computer, his phone buzzed. God, what now? Kyoko promised he wouldn’t have to stay late tonight. Gritting his teeth, Byakuya silently prayed it was from Makoto.

Speak of the devil.

“Hey! I can’t wait to walk home :)”

Togami cocked a brow, puzzled by the other boy’s message. Why on earth would he be looking forward to getting rained on?

“Why? It’s pouring outside.” 

The former heir replied, still wondering what Naegi meant. What a dork, looking forward to making his way home while the sky crashed just behind them.

“I love the rain! There’s lighting too, so maybe the sky will light up.” 

Makoto never stopped giving Byakuya reasons to love him. He couldn’t help but wonder how the situation would play out, walking home in the pouring rain with his smiling lover. The brunette always found the silver lining, although there isn’t a lot of things you can appreciate about stormy weather. You’re forced to stay cooped up inside, and the sound of a seemingly endless amount of water crashing down on the roof never failed to annoy Togami. Trying his best to push his less than optimistic thoughts aside, Byakuya logged out of his computer. Grabbing his briefcase from under his desk, he closed his laptop before abruptly leaving the room. As he trailed through the halls toward’s Makoto’s office, he smiled and waved to his coworkers. Something he had been doing a lot more since him and Naegi have been together. Togami really had nothing to complain about anymore. He had even become more patient. It was almost like looking the world through rose coloured glasses, but it wasn’t a facade. Things were really... okay. Byakuya felt comfortable, safe. And so happy.

“Byakuya!” Makoto called from the end of one of the many hallways in the building.

“Hello, angel.” The blond grinned as Naegi sped up his pace to meet him halfway.

The other man’s hands were cupping his face as Togami leaned down to press a kiss on Makoto’s lips. This had become routine by now, it was what the accountant looked forward to after a work day. As the two pulled away, the shorter boy’s hands lingered around Byakuya’s neck. Adorable, nothing new. Always cute. The brunette had a giant grin plastered on his face as he finally let his hands fall back to his sides.

“Let’s get in the elevator before it gets crowded!” Naegi suggested, gently taking Byakuya’s hand. 

As the boy led him through the hall, Togami couldn’t help but smile. Makoto really was his favourite person. The one he would do just about anything for. As the two slipped inside of the elevator, it was completely empty. Makoto locked his pinky with Byakuya’s as they patiently waited for the doors to close. Huh, they had the entire space to themselves. Just as the doors started to shut, an arm holding a briefcase flew through the crack. The pair jumped back a bit, before realizing it was Yasuhiro. The fortune teller stumbled onto the platform, mumbling something about a stack of paper flying all over the place. So much for a quiet ride. As if on cue, a swarm of other employees saw the open doors and decided to squeeze in. The brunette giggled a bit as he was squished by the flood of people. Byakuya rolled his eyes with a grin, pressing his back against the wall. The doors finally shut, and they began to descend floors. Togami found himself listening to the idle chatter, mostly about the weather. Right. Everyone had to walk back to the living quarters in the rain.

As the quiet hum of music slowly began to fade, Byakuya and Makoto waited for the people in front of them to exit first. Naegi struck up a conversation about the economics him and several other employees had discussed in a meeting earlier that day. Much to Byakuya’s surprise, the brunette seemed incredibly educated on the subject. He had been awfully quiet in the meeting, the accountant shouldn’t have assumed it was out of confusion.

“Did you read up on this?” Togami laughed a little, running his fingers through his hair. 

His hair that would be soaked in about thirty seconds.

“Maybe a little bit. I actually thought it was cool! So I decided to look into it.” 

“Money is money.” The former heir sighed as they reached the doors of the building.

“Byakuya I know you didn’t just tell me that money was irrelevant.” Makoto’s jaw hung open, smile beginning to form on the corners of his lips.

Togami let out a loud laugh. Maybe he had grown past his materialism.

As the two of them pushed the doors open, Makoto walked straight into the pouring rain without a second thought. Byakuya however, wincing at the feeling of his clothes getting wet, stood his ground near the entrance. As the blond swallowed his pride, he figured the sooner they got home the sooner they could change. Togami stepped out to follow Naegi, who stopped for a moment. As the former heir’s glasses began to fog up, he slowly slipped them in the pocket of his blazer. The other boy spun in a small circle, eyes closed. Byakuya watched as he stuck his tongue out, trying to catch raindrops. Suddenly he understood why Makoto loved the rain so much. The brunette was laughing at himself, in his own world. He looked so free. Not a care in the world, work clothes getting absolutely drenched. Was he not uncomfortable? The other man’s dress shirt was bound to be sticking to his chest by now. Togami realized he was staring when Naegi jogged back to him.

“Kiss me.” The shorter man stated simply, looking up at Byakuya.

The blond was taken aback.

“What? It’s pouring, we should go home.”

“Please! I promise you’ll feel better.” Naegi grinned wide.

The blond sighed, pushing the hair off his forehead. He stifled a grin as he leaned down to kiss Makoto. When their lips met, he felt the other boy smiling. Was he having fun? Maybe Byakuya was being overdramatic. It was just a little water, nothing he couldn’t handle. As he moved his lips against the brunette’s, he felt himself letting go. He was starting to understand that feeling of freedom. It burst from his core, taking over his entire body. Togami felt like he could do anything like this, especially with Makoto. God, it was so cliche. They were kissing in the rain. However, the former heir couldn’t deny he was enjoying himself. Overcome by a sudden urge, Byakuya wrapped his hands around Makoto’s waist. As he lifted the shorter boy off the ground, he pulled away. He swung him around, letting the sound of crashing thunder and Naegi’s laughter take over his thoughts. Who knew that being in love would make Togami do something so stereotypical, so overdone, so.. fun. The hair that stuck to both of their faces made the realization set in. This is the life Byakuya had made for himself, and he loved it. 

•

The memory played like a movie, right in front of Byakuya. He was brought back to the cruel reality of his situation very quickly as his tear stained slacks came into view. He didn’t even realize he had been crying, the memory had made him feel so intense. Although it didn’t feel like much of a memory, it was like he was reliving it. The feeling of Makoto laughing in his arms... it was gone. Maybe remembering would be the closest he ever got to loving again. Togami tried to become aware of his surroundings, shaking as he stood. The mirror was still there, clear as ever. The former heir immediately looked away, feeling ashamed and disgusted with himself. God he wanted Makoto back. He loved him more than anything. The brunette encouraged him to get out of bed when the world seemed to turn against him. He had stuck by his side through everything. Naegi was the one who made him realize he had a future. That there was a life waiting for him outside of Hope’s Peak. If it weren’t for Makoto Naegi, Byakuya would be sitting in the library at that god forbidden school, reading the same case files over and over again. That life scared him. It hit Togami like a truck when he realized he was scared of the life he had now. 

A life without Makoto, again. 

The blond quickly went from feeling utterly hopeless, to cripplingly alone. No. He couldn’t be alone. Not again. Please. Byakuya took a step back from the mirror, nearly crashing into the wall. He couldn’t go back there again. He didn’t want to. He had come so far, why now did he have to fuck things up? Turning the light switch off, the former heir wobbled to his bed. He quickly kicked off his shoes before wrapping himself in the large blanket. The feeling of Naegi being gone truly set in. One of his sleep shirts was under the covers, carelessly tossed away until one of them found it. It was the green shirt, the one that was way too big for him. The shirt that looked like more of a dress. The shirt he wore the night Byakuya told him he was in love with him. He needed Makoto. Clutching the shirt close to his chest, the distressed man took a deep breath while holding the fabric over his nose. It smelled like him, of course it did. Togami was numb. The love of his life was gone, and it was his fault. He would have to watch him find his footing again from a distance. He couldn’t be there to make him happy. As Byakuya squeezed his eyes shut, the grip on Makoto’s shirt loosened. If he slept, he wouldn’t feel like this. And with that, the exhaustion from arguing and sobbing finally set in.

Byakuya’s eyes slowly fluttered open. He was gripping something in his hand, but the blond couldn’t seem to remember what is was. There was a very blatant emptiness in his room. As Togami reached his hand out, he was met with nothing. Where was Naegi?

Oh. 

Right. 

The prior night’s events seemed to rush back to the former heir all at once. He had shattered his shot at happiness into pieces, because he never wanted it to go away. Great. Byakuya was facing away from his alarm clock, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at it. Who cares what time it was, it didn’t matter anyways. Togami realized he was still in his work clothes, he didn’t bother to change after he kicked Makoto out of his room. There was no point in changing. It felt like there was a massive weight on the blond’s chest, stopping him from doing anything. And he certainly didn’t have the motivation to fight it. His growling stomach seemed to be less of a priority at that point. If Byakuya was practically chained to his bed, he definitely would not be able to get dressed and eat breakfast with everyone. Especially Makoto. He couldn’t bring himself to face the brunette after what happened. Thank god it was Sunday, the accountant could avoid any sort of contact with him. Yet it was the exact opposite of what Togami wanted to do. He wanted to knock on the boy’s door and apologize for everything he’d done. He wanted to sleep next to him again, and to feel his warmth. He wanted Makoto, but he couldn’t have him.

The numb feeling from the other night had remained in Byakua’s chest. He felt empty. But he also felt.. guilty. That was the word. Togami didn’t think the feeling of guilt could get any stronger by that point. He had stopped thinking of himself for a while, and let his mind wander to Makoto. The former heir had probably shattered him. He spent so many nights telling the brunette that he would never leave his side, and how he never wanted to be apart from him. Which now proved to be half-true. The blond wanted to feel Makoto’s hair between his fingers again. His face in his hands, his touch. God, could Byakuya have messed up any worse? This was truly the bottom of the barrel for him. The lowest he’s ever been. Naegi probably spent the night sobbing into his pillow, falling asleep with his sneakers on. Makoto was certainly not the type to act like nothing happened. Togami would feel the pang of guilt in his chest when the other boy shot him a pained expression. No more walks home, no more kisses in the rain and certainly no more reassurance. It wouldn’t be the same with anyone else, not even the other survivors. Kyoko was a thinker, she would be too rational to give comfort that would stick with him. Asahina on the other hand is a feeler, and would give you the ‘it gets better’ speech. Hagakure wouldn’t know how to respond, and Fukawa.. no. 

Byakuya let out a small huff as he shut his eyes again. It was all just.. over. Why should he get out of bed and try to live like nothing ever happened? He finally had the man of his dreams before letting him go. He had no reason to get up. Not right now anyway. There was absolutely no way in hell the blond would be able to face Naegi again for a good while. He knew he fucked up, really bad. God this was all so dumb. This should have never happened. If Byakuya wasn’t so insecure, he could have just been happy. But no, he always has to ruin things for himself, doesn’t he? Things that were said to him years ago had to affect him. Memories of being ridiculed for showing emotion had to stop him from being vulnerable. And the fear implanted in his head that love is selfish and will always fail had to ruin his relationship. But he never really thought of Makoto as ‘the person he was in a relationship with,’ it was never like that. Makoto was his, and vice versa. They belonged to each other. Byakuya’s heart had been with Makoto the day they entered Hope’s Peak, although he wasn’t unaware of it back then. Naegi got every joke, and could counter every argument. He was perfect. Togami’s soulmate. Nothing had changed at all, except for their current status. 

As the former heir’s eyes began to open once more, he was lucky enough to be facing his alarm clock. 1:23. Jesus Christ. Byakuya hadn’t slept in that late since he was a teenager. His mind immediately went back to Makoto, and all of the mistakes that had ruined his life in about twelve hours. God he didn’t want to think anymore. The blond just wanted to rest, but there was no way he could sleep in any longer without ruining the rest of his day. Although he didn’t think his day could get much worse from that point. Togami had missed breakfast, and couldn’t eat again until late afternoon. His body was hungry, but his mind told him to ignore it. Rolling onto his back, Byakuya stared at his ceiling for a while. Why should he get up? It was a weekend, he had nothing to do and he certainly didn’t want to do anything without Naegi. He hadn’t necessarily become dependent on the brunette, he just.. wanted to be around him. Makoto was the person he enjoyed being around the most. Everything was so straightforward with him, so simple. But the simplicity was comforting, and far from boring. They were just together. 

Well, not anymore.

Byakuya couldn’t seem to shake his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried. He needed to clear his mind, then the pit in his stomach would eventually dissolve. Maybe a run would be nice. Everyone usually left the blond alone as he exercised, not wanting to interrupt him. He liked it that way. It was always rather peaceful when he decided to run. No particular goal in mind, just moving around. Finally deciding to roll out of bed, that’s exactly what the blond did. Right on the floor. His arm hit the ground first, along with his bedsheets, then Makoto’s shirt. Byakuya let out a loud groan as he crashed onto the cold floor. It was so uncomfortable, lonely too. God he never rolled out of bed, not once. Maybe something really was wrong. Of course things were bad, and he was feeling like utter shit, but this was bad. Nothing had ever affected him this much. Not his family, not the game but.. this? As Byakuya propped himself up on his elbow, he slowly kicked the sheets off his legs. 

The blond was in a dress shirt and slacks, his cross tie was undone and his glasses were god knows where. 

He was a mess. 

As the former heir slowly found his footing, he dragged his weight over to the wardrobe. Running shorts, and a lose t-shirt. Byakuya sighed as he undid the buttons of his dress shirt. His room was in absolute shambles, but he didn’t seem to care. The research he had done about your surroundings reflecting your mental state finally seemed to make sense. Letting his shirt fall to the floor along with his tie, the blond didn’t bother picking it up. He would deal with it later, the state of his room was irrelevant right now. Funny, Togami used to take pride in his organization skills and cleanliness. However that didn’t seem to matter as much as it used to. Byakuya slipped the baggy white fabric over his body, putting his head through. He was shocked the shirt wasn’t wrinkled. Shedding his pants, the former heir grabbed the first pair of running shorts he saw. He would usually scoff at the cheap fabric, spitting some witty remark about how they would tear if you stretched in them. But he just.. wasn’t up for it. He wanted to make that joke with someone else, not alone in his room. Togami lowered himself on the bed to put some socks on. Different from the dress socks he had on anyway. Maybe he would be able to think straight after he ran, who knows. He just wanted to feel something, anything other than guilt and loneliness.

The former heir sighed as he stood up from his spot on the edge of the bed. His was bed missing sheets, tossed over the side. Byakuya took a moment to look over the state of his room once more before leaving. A mix of his and Makoto’s clothes scattered on the floor. Makoto’s because he had a habit of leaving them on the floor, and Byakuya’s carelessly tossed away from a few moments ago. The grey duvet cover crumpled in a ball in the corner of his room, the green shirt from last night somewhere in the middle. Togami couldn’t bring himself to look at it quite yet, so maybe the sheets would remain in a ball for a while. He couldn’t look anymore, Byakuya needed to go. Swiftly moving towards his door, the blond slipped his running shoes on. He tucked the laces into his shoes, not bothering to tie them. He couldn’t sit in his room any longer. Byakuya hesitated before grabbing the door knob. Was there really anything waiting for him on the other side? It was becoming increasingly difficult to push his thoughts to the side. Quickly turning the knob, the hall sounded like a graveyard. Everyone usually took advantage of a lazy Sunday when they got the chance, but this was out of the ordinary. It was nearly silent. Not a person in sight. Feeling slightly relieved, Togami made his way towards the front doors of the living quarters.

Byakuya swore his heart would stop if he even caught a glimpse of the boy. Thankfully, the stillness of the building seemed to remain during his trip. Finally reaching the front doors, the blond realized he had already been jogging through the halls. When did his pace pick up? Putting his weight on one of the doors, Togami was surprised the sun didn’t hit his face. It was bright outside, but the sky was grey. Clouds laying over the sky like a blanket, stopping any excess light from peeking through. It was so.. gloomy. As Byakuya’s steps began to quicken, he couldn’t stop himself. It was at most a fast jog, but the former heir couldn’t seem to slow down. His mind told him to steer toward the jogging path, but his feet took him elsewhere. It was like his body was moving without his permission. Togami was slowly running out of breath, but his body wouldn’t stop. As the office building came into view, it clicked. The accountant was making himself run through the back route. No. He couldn’t go back there yet. Almost against his will, Byakuya’s pace seemed to quicken even more. He was running by then, straight towards the spot that had become so important to him. As his mind screamed for him to turn around, his body continued straight ahead.

As the breath began to leave his chest, Togami broke into a sprint. He didn’t pass anyone, or at least he didn’t think he did. It was Ike tunnel vision, the blond was running as fast as he could along the trail he had walked home along countless times now. His surroundings started to fade, and all he could focus on was his rapid panting. The former heir could feel his heart beating in his ears. His legs were on fire, he wanted to stop. Byakuya was quite literally running as fast as he could. He subconsciously started to trail toward the forest edge, branches snapping on his arms as he ran past. It hurt. Everything was aching, begging for him to stop. Togami could feel his form break down as he ran. His knees were becoming weak, and his head felt lighter. The dizziness hit him as he passed the spot they would stargaze in. Byakuya only saw it for a split second, but he could feel the dread welling up in his chest. He was nearly at his breaking point, pushing himself a lot further than he meant to. Everything was blurry. He was going so fast. Too fast. He couldn’t stop. As Togami’s knees finally gave in, he caught a glimpse of the coffeehouse window. The blond watched as Kyoko’s eyes widened before shooting out of her chair, closely followed by Asahina. Byakuya saw Aoi mouth something through the glass, presumably his name. As his chest crashed flat on the ground, the last thing he saw was the two women run towards the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your support. I love each and every one of you, and I can’t wait to continue the story 💞


	12. Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was really gone, and it was all Togami’s fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ skipping meals (this is minor, but still apparent.)
> 
> hey!! i’m sorry this chapter took so long to come out, i actually wasn’t too sure where to go with it! although i am okay with the way it turned out. tomorrow marks one month since i started this story! i can’t thank all of you enough for sticking with me for this long. i never expected to get this attached to the story. i love every single one of you, and i can’t wait to continue this. 💞

Byakuya only blacked out for a split second, much to his surprise. A flash of purple hair flickered in his vision as he tried to take in his surroundings. He had just fell. Or ate shit, to put it more accurately. God he must have looked so stupid, just collapsing like that. Everything felt fuzzy. The faint callings of the blond’s name rang in his ears as he felt his body abruptly being lifted off the ground. Togami’s arms were swung around Kirigiri and Asahina’s shoulders while they carried his weight. The former heir could hear their worried chatter in his ears, but it was rather faint. Too muffled for him to understand. Byakuya knew he was moving forward, but he let his head lull around. He felt so pathetic, quite literally needing the support of two of his friends. His friends who were minding their own business, probably having a nice time. The man was a mess, he didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, let alone two people he had grown to appreciate. As the trio neared the coffee house, Togami heard the faint sound of a bell. So the door had opened. It all felt so fast, he was sitting down again in a matter of seconds.

The world around him felt distant, like he was watching himself from a different perspective. Who knew being ashamed of yourself would cause so many out of body experiences. Jesus, pull it together. Aoi was barely an inch from Byakuya, waving a hand in front of his face. Kyoko was nowhere to be seen. 

“Hm? ‘M fine.” Byakuya mumbled, bringing a lazy hand to rub his eye.

It all felt so odd. He couldn’t think of anything else, just his current situation and how silly it was. This was the definition of pointless, if he had just swallowed his pride and went to breakfast, Togami wouldn’t be having this problem. The former heir had almost forgotten why he hadn’t attended the daily get-together with everyone to eat. Almost. 

“Togami! You’re in the coffeehouse, you collapsed outside.” Asahina breathed out, eyes flying in a million different directions.

The blond’s surroundings started to come back into view, the atmosphere setting in. The ambiance in the small shop was exceptional considering their current circumstances. You wouldn’t normally expect to have nice restaurants around directly after the end of the world. The windows were large and always clean, courtesy of the staff. The people who worked at the shop served as extras for the Future Foundation, doing odd jobs here and there. It was usually a rotating cast of people, all very polite and happy-go-lucky. The air in the coffeehouse always felt light. Byakuya often read, claiming his own booth in the corner. They considered the accountant a regular, often stopping by in the mornings before a shift. As Togami began to regain his senses, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the place he recovered in to be here. It was like a safe haven when he felt too claustrophobic in his room. Although he was starting to feel a little trapped with the blue eyed woman so close to his face.

“Yes, I remember now. I didn’t eat breakfast, it was stupid of me to run.” 

“We figured.” A voice called from over the counter.

As Asahina stepped out of the way, the door labelled ‘employees only’ was pushed open by Kyoko. She was holding a small paper bag, lips pursed together. The former heir pinched the bridge of his nose as she made her way over. They were taking care of him now, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The headache was agonizing, Byakuya hadn’t had anything to drink either. Kirigiri’s stare was as cool as always, it pierced through the blond. Angry wasn’t the right word. She looked... rigid. Posture a little too stiff, bag clenched tightly in her fist. Although if she was feeling any sort of resentment, Kyoko was doing quite a fine job hiding it. Learning to read the detective was long, tedious process he had started when they met. Togami had only just succeeded in analyzing her emotions recently, and it still was far from an easy task. As Kirigiri approached the chair Byakuya was sitting on, she held the bag out in front of her. Without saying a word, she shook it to signal for Togami to grab it. 

The former heir reached out and gently took the bag from her.

“Kyoko..” Aoi half scolded. The brunette looked like she was biting her tongue. 

Why were they acting like this?

“Thank you, both of you.” Togami stated simply, opening the paper bag.

Inside was a blueberry muffin, a large one at that. As Byakuya began to peel the wrapper, a thick tension began to form in the air. It was almost uncomfortable, the blond could feel both of the girl’s eyes on him. Electing to ignore the stares burning into his chest, he took a bite out of the muffin. It was stale. It seemed to hit the account right then, Kirigiri had gotten a day-old from the back instead of choosing a fresh one from the front counter. It wasn’t exactly a big deal, but worth noting.

“Okay, are we not going to talk about this?” Aoi was the one who broke the silence, looking awfully troubled as she threw her hands to her sides. 

Byakuya shot her a glance, feeling a little better now that he had some food in his stomach.

“About how I just face planted? As much as I appreciate your help, I think I’ll pass.” Togami tried to lighten the mood, seemingly to no avail.

Byakuya Togami just tried to lighten the mood. 

“No, not about that.” Kyoko replied, glare sharpening. 

Why was she being so harsh? Kirigiri was definitely calm and collected, but never passive aggressive like this. She had given the blond a stale muffin instead of a fresh one, and even went out of her way to do so. It was so unlike her to be so.. rude. Even shaking the paper bag in front of Byakuya’s face took him off guard. Surely Togami hadn’t done something to make her angry with him, right? All of the conversations the two shared after the game had been rather pleasant. Straight to business, no bullshit. Togami had grown to appreciate their dynamic, but this type of treatment felt so odd. It was like Kyoko was giving him the cold shoulder. Something she was certainly good at, but the former heir never expected to be on the receiving end of the silent treatment. The detective was quiet, but emotionless she was not. If Kyoko had any sort of concern, she would have brought it to Byakuya’s attention. Why now is she treating the accountant like a nuisance? It almost made him angry, but Togami figured she had a reason. Whatever that may be. 

“Kyoko, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The blond explained, taking another bite out of the muffin.

“Uhm.. hello?” You making your boyfriend cry like a baby for two hours straight!” Ashaina blurted out, brows furrowing just above her eyes.

The brunette’s gaze was piercing. Worse than he had ever seen from her. Aside from.. the incident. Her blue eyes clouded with what Byakuya could only describe as disgust. 

The former heir felt his heart drop. Two hours. Makoto had cried for two whole hours without stopping. No. He wasn’t ready to think about it again. Their fight was fresh in Byakuya’s mind, Naegi’s sobbing face permanently burned into his subconscious. The boy’s flushed, tear stained cheeks were something Togami would never forget. The biggest mistake he’s ever made. All the blond could feel was regret. It hung heavy in his chest. God, it hurt so bad. It physically pained him to know he had hurt Makoto so badly. He never wanted to let him go. Why did he? He couldn’t be thinking like this. Not in the middle of a coffee shop, open to the public eye. The accountant’s leg began to bounce as he placed the blueberry muffin back on the table. He was dizzy. From missing Naegi or the lack of food and water, Byakuya couldn’t tell you. Not now. He was just starting to forget, he would never feel better about it. He missed Makoto, he wanted him so badly. I need to get out.

“Excuse me.” Togami mumbled, shooting upwards out of his chair.

“I don’t think so.” Kyoko took a step towards him, arms crossed.

My god did she ever look scary. Her expression unmoving, Kyoko’s eyes seemed to do all of the talking. Her death glare was unlike anything Byakuya had ever seen. Gradually widening, the blond could see all of the white around Kirigiri’s eyes. Togami was convinced she’d kill him if he so much as thought of talking a step towards her. 

Feeling rather defeated, the former heir slumped back into his chair.

“What happened between Makoto and I is none of your concern.” Byakuya huffed, not daring to look back up at either of the women in front of him. 

Jesus, he hadn’t said something like that in months. He needed his love back. 

“It’s our concern when he can’t even get out of bed Togami!” Aoi fired back, moving next to Kyoko. 

He couldn’t get out of bed? 

Christ almighty, what have I done?

Disgusting. Suddenly he understood the look in Asahina’s eyes earlier. What Togami had done to the poor boy was absolutely unforgivable. Hell, what he had done to himself was bad enough. How stupid can you be, going out of your way to sabotage a perfect relationship out of fear? Makoto was right, Byakuya hadn’t changed a bit. He had gone and shattered someone that trusted him, all because he didn’t want to lose what they had. Shit, why just now was he realizing how flawed his logic was? The blond could feel the guilt welling up in his stomach. Togami thought he was going to be sick for a moment, but there was nothing there. Other than half a muffin. He was a horrible human being with no redeeming qualities. There wasn’t one good thing about Byakuya Togami. And if there was, Makoto was the one to bring them out. Why had he made such a stupid mistake? He was awful. The former heir certainly didn’t deserve someone like Naegi. If the brunette knew what was good for him, he definitely would avoid Byakuya at all costs. He really was a horrible person, picking someone apart until they couldn’t get out of bed. 

The blond cleared his throat. 

“Where is he now?”

“Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“Asahina.” 

The two of them exchanged looks before Aoi eventually settled down. Although the furious expression never left her face. Byakuya knew he deserved it. Kirigiri let her hands drop to her sides before giving a calculated response.

“Are you going to look for him?”

“No. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.” 

Togami was most definitely telling the truth. Given his current mental state, the former heir would most likely drop to his knees if he even saw the brunette. Just thinking about him was absolutely wrecking Byakua’s mind. The feeling of the other man’s fingers intertwined with his own, or the way Makoto’s lips would gently graze against his neck as he made them tea before bed. He missed their talks more than anything. The way Naegi’s face would light up if they were on the same page, which was almost 100% of the time. 

“He’s still in his room, you jerk. He missed breakfast!” Aoi’s tone began to raise. 

Byakuya snapped his head towards Asahina.

“Has he eaten?” The words came out of the blond’s mouth without his permission. 

So they had both skipped out on the morning get-together. Sunday’s were Makoto’s favourites, there were always home fries at brunch. Togami felt yet another twinge of guilt in his chest as the memory of Naegi kissing him until he got up came rushing back. The boy always woke him up early so they could get a good spot in line. God he was such a moron. A dork, but he was Togami’s. And they were so happy together. Fucking idiot, why did he have to end it?

“Yes, you don’t have to worry about that.” Kirigiri replied cooly. 

Thank the lord. If Byakuya had found out Makoto hadn’t eaten anything because of him, he wasn’t sure he would be able to live with himself. He really messed up. God he just wanted Naegi back. In his arms, happy again. Not bedridden or skipping meals because he couldn’t bring himself too see the blond. The feeling was definitely mutual, he wanted Makoto more than anything, but he wasn’t sure if he could ever face the boy again. What on earth was he supposed to say? Byakuya had never loved anyone this much, not even himself. Appearance aside, the former heir never had a good relationship with himself. He didn’t think he would for a long time. But being with Makoto made him forget what hating himself feels like. Togami was free to express whatever he was feeling with the brunette. No judgement or preconceived notions about ‘how someone such as himself should be acting.’ He could be authentic with Naegi. But obviously Byakuya didn’t just long for the comfort he felt with the other boy.

He missed Makoto. Everything about him was intoxicating. From his winning smile to his concrete determination. He was beautiful. The blond could recall one moment in particular that really stuck out to him. The brunette was running post to pillar to try and find Columbian coffee for the two of them. It definitely woke you up in the morning, and Naegi thought they could use it. He had spent hours trying to track down where he could get it from, and he finally found it. Byakuya was reading a book quietly in his room, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded him. Togami swore he could hear the door swinging open followed by the other man flopping down on their shared bed. The kicker was the look on Makoto’s face when Byakua asked him what the hell he had been doing for the past three hours. Eyes shut tightly, a giant grin plastered on his face. Naegi’s freckles were illuminated by the lamp sitting on the nightstand. That was all gone. Never coming back. Togami had broke him. 

Things would never be the same, and who’s fault is that? 

“What happened?” Kyoko asked simply, sounding incredibly disappointed.

Her whole demeanour seemed to shrivel up, Byakuya guessed she couldn’t hide her resentment for much longer. Kirigiri’s eyebrows furrowed into a distinct frown, causing an ‘11’ wrinkle to form just above her nose. Togami never would have expected this kind of behaviour to come from someone so levelheaded. He was aware of how close her and Makoto had grown, so maybe he should have seen this coming. Idiot. Yet another important factor about the man he was in love with that the blond completely overlooked. It was hopeless, he would never get to do anything even remotely intimate with the other man again. Physical touch aside, Togami wanted to tell the brunette that he loved him. Over and over again until he finally understood how much Byakua truly cared for him. The irony of the entire situation was enough to make the former heir break down in front of Kyoko and Asahina. He had been the one to hurt Makoto this badly, the person who he loved most. Togami was certain he could win that battle against anyone, the love he had for Naegi would be something he could never even begin to explain. 

“Nothing, this is childish. I appreciate your help, but this is none of your business.” Byakuya spoke with a hinge of annoyance in his tone. 

He hated the way he sounded. 

“You haven’t talked like that months!” Aoi snapped, becoming visibly more aggressive. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” The blond sneered, rolling his eyes so far back into his head he thought he might see his brain. 

“Forget Makoto, what the hell happened to you?” 

What happened? 

What happened? Was she being serious? Nothing. Nothing had occurred in the past month that would warrant their falling out. Jack shit. 

“You know nothing.” Byakuya stood up, crumpling the paper bag in his hand. 

As he began walking toward the door, Kirigiri stepped directly out of his way. He silently thanked her, a second breakdown wasn’t something that should happen in front of people that would jump at his throat in a heartbeat. Funny, this hadn’t just ruined Byakuya’s relationship with Makoto. It had completely sabotaged his relationship with his friends. Well, survivors now. The former heir was quite certain they wouldn’t be referring to him as a friend anytime soon. His ignorance and insecurity had completely wrecked something so perfect. These were all things he could have just.. worked on. It hit Byakuya like a ton of bricks just before he reached the door. He was a lost cause. There was no hope for him anymore. The accountant had been lucky enough to be surrounded by people that cared about him enough to break through his walls. For Christ’s sake, he had been blessed with the man he had always dreamed of. But he threw it all away. Togami wasn’t worthy of the patience people had given him. Was he just destined to be miserable with himself? Maybe it was better that way. He wouldn’t have to completely break someone if he kept people at a distance. Just like before.

“God, have you learned nothing from all of this?” 

Byakuya ignored Asahina’s voice, now increasing in volume. Kirigiri didn’t say a word. 

“You haven’t changed a bit!” She yelled, just as Togami placed his hand on the doorknob. 

The former heir stopped dead in his tracks. Not one of them made a sound, tension quickly returning to the atmosphere. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

The red hot feeling started to boil in Togami’s stomach. What the hell did she know about anything? The two of them had no right to stick their nose in his business. Hadn’t changed. He hadn’t changed. He was still the scared little boy who cried too much, wasn’t he? Makoto was right. Right about him the whole time. All of this work was for nothing, it had all gone to shit. Nothing he ever did mattered. It was all going to blow up in his face anyway. Byakuya wanted to shatter the glass door. He felt his breathing quicken before whipping around fo face the brunette.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Togami barked, an iron grip on the door handle. 

He really was starting to sound like his old self. Well, it wasn’t so old anymore. 

“That just proved it! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!” 

“Hina..” Kirigiri started, but she was quickly cut off. 

“You’re such a pretentious asshole! You didn’t even care about him at all!” 

“You shut your mouth.” 

That was everything Byakuya could take. He could handle being called an asshole, that was nothing knew. But Togami loved Makoto. That was something he wasn’t going to let some ignorant commoner take away from him. 

Ignorant commoner.

Good god.

“Well? Did you really give a shit about him? Because it doesn’t seem like you did!” 

“Don’t you ever say something so stupid around me again.”

“Stupid? Who do you think you are?”

“Oh please, if you fell off a building you’d have to ask for directions.” 

Holy shit that was mean. He was.. proving his own point. The words felt like acid coming out of his mouth. Byakuya was disgusted with himself. He had become everything he had sworn to never be again. He failed. The blond could barely bring himself to look Asahina in the eye, but it definitely wasn’t what he was expecting to see. He thought maybe she’d slap him again, and the former heir certainly wouldn’t blame her for that. Aoi was smiling. The corners of her lips were folded upwards, and her jaw hung open. It wasn’t exactly shock, but Togami couldn’t read her. He didn’t dare shooting a glance Kyoko’s way, so he settled on tilting his chin upwards. Another old habit. A defence mechanism. A small puff of air left the brunette’s lips, it was almost a scoff. The tension was even more prominent than it was earlier. The only sound in the shop was the bag as Byakuya crumpled it in his hand. He couldn’t possibly apologize now, Togami had been way too confident in his words to sound sincere. Great, something else completely ruined. It wasn’t like he could fix what he had just done. He called someone close to him stupid. Someone he cared about. Someone he had begun to think highly of it. Togami didn’t mean it. 

“Goodbye.” Was all the accountant could muster before hastily opening the door.

That dreaded sound of the bell rung his ears long after he walked out the door. Byakuya didn’t look back. 

Storming away from the coffeeshop, the former heir was met with the sight of the large oak tree once again. Perfect, just what he needed. Another reminder of Makoto, thrown in his face. It took Togami his whole life to realize he was an angry crier. He could feel the emotion welling in his chest. The blond stomped toward the trail he was supposed to run on earlier. He was still in his workout clothes, so he might as well get some use out of them while he could. As Byakuya nearly tore the paper bag trying to get what was left of the muffin out, he crumpled the bag and threw it over his shoulder. It was biodegradable anyway. Togami wolfed the pastry down as quickly as possible, he figured it would probably give him some energy. Some of his coworkers were walking along the path just behind him, but Byakuya opted for ignoring any sort of acknowledgement from them. Given what had just happened, the accountant was bound to snap at anything that moved. He was acting like a toddler, this whole situation was caused by his childish fears.

Naegi had found his quick temper almost endearing, often making a sly comment about his behaviour. Funny, that always seemed to cheer Togami up. He stopped getting so frustrated after him and Makoto got together. He had stopped worrying over trivial things, which normally had enough power to spoil his mood in an instant. The brunette made him realize that minor inconveniences were really minor. God he really was a child, the other boy shouldn’t have had to teach him how to handle his own emotions. Everything about this situation was awful. All Byakuya wanted to do was kiss Naegi until he couldn’t breathe. Hold him for hours and tell him how much of an idiot he had been for leaving without any explanation. He wanted Makoto’s cheek to rest against his palm while he listed the hundreds of reasons why he had fallen for the brunette. Togami should be doing that right now. He certainly didn’t take what they had for granted, but he was insecure enough to push it all away. It hurt so bad. 

The blond could barely describe what he was feeling. His chest was tightening up so much he could barely breathe. It quite literally was one of the most painful things he had ever experienced. Mental state aside, Byakuya physically couldn’t take being away from Makoto. Busy work days and missions were one thing, but this was different. It was like they didn’t know each other now, everything he yearned to tell the other man had to be left unsaid. He could never make Naegi understand just how much he meant to him. Reaching the edge of the running trail, the accountant stared at the lush forest in front of him. It had grown in quite beautifully after the tragedy. The grey sky brought out the verdant green of the trees perfectly. He should bring- no, he should have brought Makoto here. Throwing every last shred of dignity out the window, Byakuya stepped into the forest. What the hell was he doing? It was huge, the former heir would most definitely get lost if he walked too far. But alas, his feet moved like he was on auto-pilot. You couldn’t hear anything in there. The silence was almost eerie. It reminded Togami that he was alone. The only thing he could hear was the sound of a branch snapping under his foot. You wouldn’t hear someone scream from the outside. 

Huh. 

The former heir had never done anything even remotely similar to screaming, being too loud was always deemed as unprofessional and embarrassing. While it was unprofessional in every sense of the word, he didn’t quite understand why it was embarrassing. There was certainly a lot of yelling in his household growing up. Wether it be from one of the petty sibling fights, or from his father spewing bullshit about how Togami needed to ‘be a man.’ There was an urge creeping it’s way up Byakuya’s throat. No one would hear him, right? But was there really a point? Would it make him feel any better? Interrupting his own thoughts, the accountant inhaled slowly. Shutting his eyes, Togami screamed at the top of his lungs. Although that might not have been the best description, it was more from the bottom of his stomach. Letting his ears pop from the sudden change in pace, Byakuya yelled until his throat started to burn. Well, stretching a bit longer than that. The former heir was positive that was the loudest he could possibly go. Togami’s voice wasn’t especially deep, but his low tone was very prominent as he screamed bloody murder. He had quite literally screamed until he ran out of breath. 

Snapping his eyes open, Togami gasped for breath as he clutched a hand over his rapidly beating heart. All he could think about was Makoto. The blond attempted to yell again, but it came out as pants. He felt like his knees were going to buckle underneath him, thank god for the food he had finally gotten into his system. Instead of falling, Byakuya opted for pressing his hands on his bent knees. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he tilted his head downwards. His sharp inhales only seemed to worsen as he sobbed. Alone. In the middle of a forest. This was the absolute worst Togami could possibly get. He needed Naegi. He needed to tell the brunette he loved him while he brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. He needed to show him just how much he had helped him grow as a person. He wanted to tell him that he listened when he sang in the shower, and how he joined in every time. Byakuya felt the emotion wreck his body as he remembered all of the times he caught himself listening to Makoto as he sang. The blond had always kept that to himself. He most definitely wouldn’t have any pride left if he admitted to Naegi that he lip synced all of ‘Bye Bye Bye’ as the brunette belted the song in the shower. As generic and laughable as the song choice was, the boy’s voice certainly wasn’t something he could overlook.

As the tree trunks all started to mesh together, Byakuya couldn’t stop his thoughts. He almost had to relive the first time he heart Naegi sing. This should be a pleasant memory, why was it hitting him so hard? 

•

The lineup for the communal showers stretched all the way to the cafeteria, and Togami had offered for the other man to shower in his room. He graciously accepted, claiming one of the blond’s towels. Byakuya skimmed through a classic as he waited for his love to come to bed. He had thought Naegi was talking to him at first, prompting him to toss whatever work he picked off his shelf to the side. The former heir had no idea what Makoto was singing, but was so captivating. His soft voice bouncing off the bathroom walls into Togami’s room was hypnotic. He had left the door open a crack, itching at the accountant’s curiosity. Taking a few cautious steps toward the door, the brunette’s singing got louder. You’d never expect someone like Makoto to have such strong vocals. Knowing him, he probably wasn’t trying. With most likely no effort whatsoever, the other man had single-handedly put Byakuya in a trance. The dork probably had the handle of his hairbrush in one hand, and soap in the other. 

“You have quite a voice.”

“Byakuya!” 

The blond’s cheeks filled with air as he cackled at Naegi’s reaction. He heard something that sounded like plastic smack the floor.

“You made me drop my mic.” Makoto giggled, sighing loudly.

So he was right about the hairbrush.

Soon after, his face poked out from inside the shower, curtain covering the rest of his body. Makoto’s brown hair was longer than he thought, most of it sticking to his face. His thick locks were soaked with water, very obvious shampoo suds resting near his scalp. He looked adorable. 

“I’m sorry angel. Can I come in?” 

“Only if you sing with me.” 

Byakuya rolled his eyes and he began to undo his cross tie, slipping off his eyeglasses afterwards. 

“I’ll kill you if you laugh at me.”

•

It was perfect, everything he could have asked for. Byakuya couldn’t complain about a single aspect of their relationship. Disagreements were quickly settled and dismissed immediately after they happened, usually followed by a nap where they clung tightly to the other. Not only was Togami comfortable, he was happy. Happier then he had ever been. Man, he really messed up. It was obvious from the start, but as his breathing finally steadied it really hit. He had just tossed the person cared about most to the side without a second thought. Well, there were a lot of second thoughts, but they didn’t seem to stop him. For once overthinking the situation would have been a good thing. If he would have just talked to him about it, none of this would have happened. He had to.. he had to fix it. He couldn’t just sit around and mope. Byakuya wanted him. He needed to fight for him. Well, he was only really fighting with himself. But what could he possibly say?

Togami certainly wouldn’t blame the brunette for not forgiving him. He had just cussed out one of their friends, which only made matters worse. He’s making himself seem like the grade A asshole he was a year ago. God, he wasn’t like that anymore. It felt like Byakuya was reliving moments from years ago, that was the only possible way he could be reacting so childishly. The blond slowly stood up, and became painfully aware of his situation. He was in the middle of a forest, screaming like a banshee... right. No point in lingering there for any longer than necessary. He hoped to god he could tell Makoto about the whole ordeal, hearing him laugh at the former heir’s stupidity. Because that’s what it was. Every one of his actions that day had been utterly stupid. Going for a run on an empty stomach, that’s just common sense. Lashing out at people who were trying to help him, that was a result of his own feelings about a situation that had nothing to do with them. It was almost laughable how much of a fool Byakuya made of himself in just a day. 

As the accountant let his neck roll backwards to stretch, he noticed the sun gradually peeking through the clouds. It was orange, beginning to set. It was starting to get colder out, they were nearing the time of year where it was pitch black outside by 5:30. How long had he been sobbing in there? The only things that knew about his breakdown were the thick, almost soundproof trees surrounding him. Suddenly the atmosphere wasn’t so pleasant, the vibrant green now made Byakua sick. Slowly making his way out of the large forest, the blond was surprised he was able to find his way out so quickly. It’s not as if he payed attention to his surroundings as he pushed past all of the bushes in his way. Togami’s feet seemed to carry him, just like they had for the nth time that day. As he pushed the final branch threatening to snap in his face swiftly out of the way, the former heir was finally out of that damn forest. Just as he expected, it was starting to get dark. He would think of all the ways to apologize to Makoto in the morning.

Byakuya elected to ignore the voice in his head practically screaming at him to just give the brunette a genuine apology right then. It took every ounce of willpower in the blond’s body not to knock on Naegi’s bedroom door.

That was far ahead, he wasn’t even back at the living quarters for Christ’s sake. 

Walking along the path back home, Togami noticed everyone had gone inside. He figured because it was a Sunday night, and people had work first thing in the morning. The feeling of being alone seemed to hit harder than it had earlier. Did he really have anyone to turn to? Anyone to confide in? And since when did Byakuya Togami want to confide in someone? He needed advice, a general direction, anything. The only person he could trust with anything was Naegi. And the brunette certainly wasn’t an option. God, he just wanted this to be over. More than anything. Togami had never been this much of a mess, collapsing and screaming from raw emotion in the same day. As he neared the living quarters, Byakua’s roaring stomach made itself very apparent. The front doors came into view, and the blond picked up his pace ever so slightly. He never realized just how hungry he was until that moment. Pushing the metal doors open, he was met with the buzzing hallway filled with people. They were all going in and out of the dining hall, scrambling to get themselves organized for work the next morning. 

Briskly walking past everyone he saw, Byakuya found himself feeling grateful that Makoto wasn’t among the group. Jesus, it hurt to think like that. He never wanted to be away from the boy. The doors to the cafeteria were wide open, it was fairly empty. Pushing his way past a few people lingering outside of the doors, Togami made his way into the dining hall. Just his luck, Kyoko, Asahina and Yasuhiro were sitting smack in the middle of the cafeteria. Yasuhiro noticed him first, offering a big smile and a wave. Byakuya nodded his head, guilt pooling in his stomach. The former heir made a b-line for the buffet, trying his best to ignore Hagakure’s blatant staring. God, it felt like he was in high school. Quiet whispers behind his back, rumours spread that he never bothered to disprove. The blond grabbed the first few things he saw, tossing the tongs used for noodles carelessly back into the bowl. Kirigiri was chatting with Asahina, while Yasuhiro looked dead at Byakuya. He squinted a little before shaking his head. Typical, another relationship of his ruined. 

The accountant kept a death grip on his tray as he exited the dining hall. Guess he would have to eat in his room tonight. You weren’t really allowed to take your meals outside of the dining hall, but Togami couldn’t care less about the Future Foundation’s petty rules. He received a few puzzled glances from coworkers as he swished through the hallway with his tray in hands. Byakuya’s pride seemed to have completely disappeared after his fight with Makoto. It had ruined just about every aspect of his life, most importantly the one he cared about most. The lovesick boy just wanted to be with Naegi. More than anything. He wanted to listen to his rants about anime Makoto had watched with his sister. He wanted to see him smile. It had barely been twenty four hours, and Byakuya couldn’t fathom that he had made someone he cared about so much this distraught. The former heir certainly managed to make himself into a complete and utter mess. Was a stable relationship and a positive view of yourself really too much to ask for?

Byakuya reached his room soon after he stormed out of the cafeteria, balancing his food in one hand as he unlocked the door with the other. The accountant managed not to spill anything, maybe it was from carrying giant stacks of paper down three floors whenever Kirigiri needed stats. Pushing his way into the room with his knee, Togami gently placed the tray on his desk, subsequently shutting his door. He felt awful. Slumping down in the nearest chair, the blond realized he forgot cutlery in the cafeteria. Almost cursing himself, Byakuya opened his desk drawer to find a plastic fork and knife in a bag. Makoto said it would come in handy. Would you look at that. Togami could barely make out what was in front of him, his mind went to a different place. All he could comprehend was that he nearly inhaled his food, then went directly to the bathroom. Maybe it was time to change out of workout clothes he had been wearing all day. 

Byakuya blinked and the shower was over. He couldn’t remember when he stepped in, all he knew now is that he had a towel around his waist. 

Slowly stepping out of the bathroom, the blond slumped to his wardrobe. Opening the doors, he grabbed a giant hoodie before slipping it over his head. Togami’s back wasn’t completely dry, so the fabric clung uncomfortably to his body. Great, just what he needed. Drying the rest of his body off, Byakuya slipped on some sweats. What now? The clock read 8:53, the former heir couldn’t possibly go to bed now. Reading was no use either, his mind was on the boy across the hall. God, it was probably pitch black outside. Everyone was bound to be in their rooms by now, relaxing before bed. Byakuya would usually curl up with Naegi, stroking his hair as the accountant buried his head in a book. This was his first night alone in a month. It was a new moon tonight, the stars were probably shining brilliantly outside. Togami couldn’t manage to stay put, could he? Being still meant having to think. 

Slipping on a pair of shoes once more, Byakuya sighed as he grabbed his key off the nightstand. He repeated the same motion for the millionth time, locking his door before heading straight towards the front doors. This was pathetic. Was he destined to a life of feeling empty? It wasn’t necessarily a new feeling, but certainly a taxing one. Togami wished he could believe that feeling nothing was better then being miserable, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it was true. He had grown too much for that kind of talk. Reaching the doors, the former heir flipped his hood up before going outside. It was bound to be freezing this time of night. Upon opening the doors, Byakuya was unfortunately proven right. He could see his breath, but there wasn’t much of a point in getting a jacket. The other thing Byakuya had guessed right was the vibrance of the stars. Thousands of them twinkling beautifully, scattered throughout the night sky. They looked like.. freckles. Now that was definitely a stretch.

Togami seemed to have control of his feet this time, but his head told him to go to their spot. Maybe, just this once, it would be okay. He would let go afterwards. Well, if things didn’t work out. The blond obviously had a strong connection to the lake just behind the oak tree, it was their prime spot for everything. It was beautiful in every way you could think, the view of the water was absolutely breathtaking. He hoped to god he would get the opportunity to take Makoto there again, if the brunette would hear him out. Byakua didn’t even know what to say, where could he start? Brushing past the bushes poking out onto the path, the oak tree came into view. Togami felt like he needed to be there, right now. It was an odd feeling, completely overwhelming his senses. Just go. Get there. Quickly. Trying to push aside his own thoughts, the blond quickened his pace. Hurry up. After a day of nothing but suffering, regret and anger, Togami finally reached the tree. He rubbed his eyes as he approached it, looking to sit down against the trunk, Byakuya shivered as he reached their designated spot, feeling a rush of relief. At last, Some time to think.

However, that rush was quickly cut off by Byakuya’s heart dropping into his stomach.

Makoto was leaning against the trunk, hands in his pockets. Looking straight at Byakuya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! i had to drag the angst out for a little longer. i can’t believe i’m only going to write a few more chapters! it’s bittersweet nearing the end of the fic, but i most definitely will be writing another multi chapter fic as well as one shots in the near future!


	13. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming face to face with his self-destructive and frankly terrible habits, Byakuya attempts to come to a conclusion about the root of his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i feel like i should explain myself a little bit. i left the last chapter on a massive cliffhanger, and for that i apologize! i wanted the last chapter of this fic to be perfect, which is why i spent such a large amount of time on it. i’m overjoyed to finally be sharing it here, the end of an era. it’s actually sort of ironic. i’m posting the last chapter exactly three months after i posted the first one! this has been such a lovely experience for me, and has allowed me to meet so many different people. thank you Taika, for sticking with me the whole way through. she has left a comment on every single chapter, and has been here since the very beginning. you may also know her as paulmcmuffin on here, a wonderful Naegami writer. i’m rambling now, but thank you all for being here for me through this. i feel as though this fic is a piece of me, an extension of my thoughts. i love every single one of you, unconditionally 💞

Their eyes locked almost immediately. Byakuya couldn’t tell if he wanted to run or scream. Probably run. He should go. But his feet couldn’t seem to move. The blond was stuck like glue in one of the most awkward positions of his life. Makoto was dead faced, not moving a muscle as he kept his eyes on the former heir. The wind seemed to stop blowing, and any background noise put itself on mute. It was silent. Togami could feel the rush of emotions welling in his chest. Right. Words. He was looking into the stone cold eyes of his soulmate. The one who he had kicked out of his room after the most meaningful connecting Byakuya had ever made. And ever will make. No one could replace Naegi, not even close. The boy was certainly going to apologize, but not before he thought of what to say. This wasn’t some little tiff the pair could just gloss over, both of them were hurt. Makoto had slowly become his whole world, and it had all come crashing down at Togami’s feet. The blond hated the dynamic more than anything. The person he used to be able to talk with about anything seemed so far away now. 

“Hi.” Makoto’s voice cracked, a dead giveaway. 

So he was more hurt than he was angry. Nice to know. 

“Wh-“

“If you talk I’ll listen.” Byakuya cut him off, words coming out quicker than he could process. 

What on earth did that mean? Shit. The first words he spoke to Makoto after their fight were pathetic. The former heir guessed his subconscious wanted to hear what the brunette had to say. Or maybe it was just.. his conscious. 

Naegi hesitated, opening his mouth to speak. He averted his eyes away from Byakuya’s before abruptly shutting his mouth again. He still looked beautiful, after a day most likely filled with nothing but sobbing. It wasn’t fair. Togami shouldn’t have been the one to make him feel so awful. 

“C’mere.” Was all the boy could muster, slowly sliding his back down the trunk. 

The blonde obliged, feet carrying him over to the massive tree. He slid past Naegi for a moment, finding a spot next to him. Their shoulders brushed as Byakuya sat down. But it wasn’t butterflies this time. Togami thought he was going to puke from the guilt. They simultaneously tilted their heads to look at each other, then away again. God, this was awful. The sky was painted a deep navy blue, twinkling stars decorating the sky. They should be in each other’s embrace on a night like this. Makoto looking up at Byakuya, listening to the former heir ramble on about how much he loved the other boy. Or talking about whatever interested the two of them, sharing thoughts on it. Not this awkward tension bouncing through the air, putting up walls they had broken down months ago. The pair couldn’t tell what was okay anymore. What was okay to say, do or even think. They were both walking on eggshells. 

“It came out of nowhere.” Makoto started, blowing air into his trembling palms.

The blond had to brawl with the urge to take Naegi’s hand, and kiss it until it was warm. That had been the new norm. Cold hands, or anything for that matter didn’t slip past either of them. The brunette would kiss Togami’s cheeks warm, he found himself wishing that would happen now. He was too exhausted to hate himself. Even being with Makoto after what he had just done was a privilege. 

“I haven’t cried that hard in a while.. I felt like I was dying.” The sad chuckle that came from Naegi’s smiling face made Byakuya sick in the worst kind of way.

Of course he loved Makoto’s smile, but not when it was packed with so much sorrow. The brunette was smiling because he was exhausted, not because he was happy. 

“Kyoko told me you skipped breakfast too, and she brought me some food. I wrote a letter, then threw it away. Then I took it out of the trash and read it. Then I slept for a couple of hours. I brought my dinner back into my room, I thought I was gonna cry if I saw you.”

Funny that. 

“I didn’t stop thinking about you. The whole day.” Makoto continued, softening his gaze a little. 

Byakuya turned to look at the brunette, who seemed to be having a staring contest with the stars. His eyes looked like they were glowing. Green balls of pure suffering. The small grin never left Makoto’s face, it made his stomach turn. As a gentle tear slipped down Naegi’s cheek, he kept his composure.

“I hate sleeping in my own bed now, isn’t that weird?”

Byakuya assumed the question was rhetorical. 

“It was so cold. I had every spare blanket wrapped around me. I basically swaddled myself.” The tears were more consistent now, however Makoto’s tone kept the same refinement. 

The other boy was speaking clearly, yet his face was now wet from his leaky eyes. The former heir wondered how he could sound so.. poised. 

“But I was freezing. I guess you were kind of like my own personal blanket.”

Byakuya let a sharp exhale out of his nose, as if to laugh a little. Anything more might’ve looked condescending, and he didn’t want to push his luck. Thankfully, Makoto seemed to appreciate the acknowledgement. 

“But it was never just that.” The other boy continued, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets.

The poor thing was frozen.

The phrasing seemed to affect Byakuya more than he thought it would. His love- no, Naegi was speaking in past tense. He wasn’t his love anymore. And that fact shattered Togami’s heart into a million pieces. He wanted to belong to Makoto again, and vice-versa. He didn’t want it to be over.

“I love your mind, and what you have to say. I love the way your face scrunches up when you’re focused.”

Togami never thought he would notice such little things about him, things the former heir wasn’t even aware of himself. 

“I love the way you talk into your pillow in the mornings, because you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. Oh, and I love how offended you get when I win an argument.” Naegi laughed genuinely this time, wiping a few stray tears from his eyes.

Byakua decided to be bold.

“I don’t get offended.” 

“Yes you do! You’ve got a stick up your butt for the next hour.” 

Togami let himself smile, and he attempted to stifle a laugh. It didn’t work. Things felt so natural when the two of them were together, like they were always supposed to be connected. Well, they were already connected. Byakuya pushed down the guilt for the time being, that might have been one of the last times he got to bask in the brunette’s rays. He was like a giant ball of sunshine. 

“A stick up my butt?” The blond sounded a little baffled.

“Yes! You’re so grumpy, and you don’t stop pouting until I kiss you.” 

“You’re being dramatic. I don’t.. pout.” 

“Byakuya you cross your arms and frown. You look like a toddler.”

“Your smart ass is lucky I’m too tired to fire back.” 

“Is that so?”

Their laughter filled the air, lightening the atmosphere. Togami was so grateful their dynamic had returned, even if they hadn’t gotten to the elephant in the room just yet. As their chuckling slowly came to an end, the comfortable silence had returned between the two of them. Byakuya lifted a hand to rub his eye, and was met with a very familiar watery substance. This was the second time today the former heir had cried without realizing. The two boys were having a full out conversation, tears streaming down their cheeks. Togami’s face felt numb from the cold, no wonder he didn’t realize he had started to cry. It was so casual talking to Naegi like this, just like they used to. And the brunette had eventually started talking in present-tense, which made Byakuya’s heart flutter. He still loved him. The blond certainly was in love with Makoto. There was so much being left unsaid, which had become a rare occurrence for the two of them. They talked about everything, no matter what it was. 

“I don’t want this to be the new normal.” Makoto finally choked out, meeting Byakuya’s eyes once more. 

The tears had stopped for both of them, but they were bound to start up again soon. They always did. Ever since Togami opened up that one night, crying came a lot more naturally to him. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, the blond couldn’t tell. All he knew is that he had to find a way to deal with all of these emotions that didn’t involve self sabotage. 

“I never wanted this in the first place.” Byakuya admitted, although reluctantly.

“What happened?” Makoto’s voice sounded pained rather than curious. 

“Nothing, that’s what..” The former heir couldn’t find the words he was looking for.

“Okay, was it me then? It’s totally fine if it was, I’m just-“

“Of course not!”

Byakuya couldn’t help but cut him off, he didn’t want the other boy getting any sort of idea that it was his fault. Or that Togami fell out of love with him. Because that certainly wasn’t the case. The blond loved Makoto more than words could express. He felt his heart beating for him as they drifted off in each other’s arms. Naegi even thinking any of the situation was his fault made Togami feel like absolute shit. And rightfully so. The blond would dedicate his life to proving he was in love with Makoto if he had to. The former heir would beg on his hands and knees for forgiveness at that point. He needed his love. His angel. The reason his job was bearable. The thing that made escaping Hope’s Peak was worthwhile. His hope. He owed his life to Makoto, but never viewed their relationship like he was in debt. Byakuya never expected to fall hopelessly in love with the despair repellent that was Makoto Naegi. But here he was, willing to do just about anything to prove his love for the boy. 

“Makoto you’ve shown me a love unlike anything else. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with you.” 

“Then why? Please, make me understand!” The brunette pleaded, eyes widening with each word. 

“I would tell you if I knew. It was just..”

Naegi’s eyes flickered for a moment. Byakuya recognized the expression, but his mind wouldn’t connect the dots. He was.. hoping for something. Togami prayed to whatever higher power was out there that he could deliver what the doe eyed boy next to him was wishing for. 

“It was too good to be true.” 

Finally, there it was. Now out in the open. The cat was out of the bag. Byakuya was insecure his relationship was going to crash and burn. There were absolutely no indicators that things would go south, and Togami took that as a hint of some kind. He wanted to leave Makoto before they both got hurt. Funny, it did the exact opposite of what the blond had hoped for. 

The brunette raised his eyebrows. He looked.. gentle.

“You’ve never had love that wasn’t conditional, so you left before things would end.” 

Bingo. 

“Byakuya I’m in love with you! Too good to be true my ass, I would do anything to be with you! I don’t care how many Monokuma’s I have to smash into pieces, or how many Junko’s I have to expose. I want to be with you, and I’m not gonna let anything get in our way!” 

Togami removed his eyeglasses before slipping them into the pocket of his hoodie. Makoto was fighting to be with him. After everything.

“I am an awful person! I’m nasty. Makoto I love you but I will drive you away. I’ll ruin you.” 

“That’s not true!” The brunette cried, straightening his posture. 

“Byakuya you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Do you know where I would be right now without you?”

The former heir didn’t answer.

“Hope’s Peak.” 

Togami followed suit, shooting upwards. 

“That’s just wrong. You would have escaped just fine with everyone else.” 

Byakuya could feel the frustration and internal conflict start to become more intense. He was listing off reasons Makoto shouldn’t stay with him, but he wanted so badly for them to belong to each other again. Why was he making this so hard for himself? Why was it so hard to just.. let himself be loved?

“No, I wouldn’t have. When I couldn’t fight for myself, I fought for you. You saw something in me that no one else did. I didn’t want to let you down, so I pushed through! No matter how cold you acted back then, you believed in me! You had hope for me when I couldn’t bring myself to fight anymore. Do you know what you’ve done for me?” The shorter boy was standing now, voice travelling through the thick forest just beside them. 

Byakuya was at a complete loss for words, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. 

“You made me realize that I wasn’t some worthless nobody! I’ve felt average my whole life, and you proved me wrong.”

His voice was cracking once more, Makoto’s lip wobbling subsequently.

“Why won’t you just let me love you?” 

“Because I don’t deserve it!” Byakuya gasped, standing alongside Naegi. 

It was the brunette’s turn to be speechless. 

“Makoto look at yourself! I pushed you away for no reason whatsoever, and I’ve done nothing but act high and mighty. I’m a heartless asshole. You deserve someone who can love you properly!” Togami was nearly running out of breath.

Naegi’s jaw dropped, and so did Byakuya’s heart. Did he say something.. wrong? 

“Love me properly? Are you kidding?” 

Byakuya genuinely had no idea where Makoto was going with this. He looked like he was going to burst if the former heir said another word. Was he going to list all of the ways Togami didn’t love him like he should have? As the blond waited anxiously for a response, he rubbed his freezing hands together in an effort to warm them up.

“Byakuya do you remember when I came home one night and I said I hated the way my dress shirt made me look?”

“What does that have-“

“Just hear me out!”

The blond swallowed thickly as he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. 

“Yes.”

“You kissed me everywhere from the waist up and told me I was a gift from god.” 

They were both crying again.

“You wrapped your arms around my waist in front of the mirror and whispered all of the things you loved about me. For ALMOST AN HOUR!” 

Makoto’s ghost of a whimper made the blond want to drop to his knees. 

“So don’t tell me you don’t know how to love me properly. That’s so full of shit!” 

Byakuya didn’t have the slightest idea of how to respond to the crying boy in front of him. Everything be said was right, and he had absolutely no room to argue. All Togami wanted to do was hold Naegi and promise to buy him the whole world, but he was still trying to give the brunette reasons to leave him. He didn’t want Makoto to leave, and he didn’t want to push him away anymore. It was always so fucking difficult for him to just express his emotions, and it was proving to be a massive problem in EVERY area of Togami’s life. He made sure Makoto felt loved and cared for, and the other boy always did the same for him. They were the most tender, wholesome exchanges the blond ever had with anyone. And on top of that, Makoto was his favourite person out of anyone. The funniest, the wittiest and the one he was most drawn to. Byakuya always picked Makoto, and that would never change. 

“I was so awful to you last night. Makoto I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“Do you love me?”

The question hit him like a ton of bricks. Of course he did, but Naegi’s tone suggested an ulterior motive.

“More than anything. I want to see you happy for the rest of your days. I didn’t mean anything I said to you. I was trying to push you away because I didn’t want it to end.. it doesn’t make any sense. I was ignorant and stupid. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything. I want you to be by my side throughout everything I do. I said it all meant nothing because I knew it would drive you away. But I lied. I lied through my teeth. Makoto please..”

The other boy was quiet, waiting for Byakuya to finish.

“Please believe me. I can barely put proper sentences together. Every little thing you do keeps me going. Pushes me forwards in ways you’ll never understand. I don’t think you’ll ever know just how much you mean to me. How much I adore every aspect of you. I’m in love with everything you are, and everything you’ll become. I’m in love with our present, and our future. It’s been a night and I can’t function. I need you.” Byakuya was rambling at that point, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“I know you aren’t my second half, and that I’m complete. But you’re my everything. And I was.. terrified. Terrified it would all end, and that I would hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want my wretched, awful past to stain you. You’re the most patient, kind person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. You’re an enigma, Makoto Naegi. And I’m in love with you.” 

The brunette took a step towards him, extending his arms. 

“Oh Byakuya..” Naegi cried, plunging his head into the blond’s chest.

As the two of them finally connected, Byakuya began to sob. They fit like puzzle pieces, the mutual chilliness between them finally evaporating. The former heir wrapped his arms tightly around Makoto’s neck, while the latter squeezed Togami’s waist. The two of them stood there, a collective mess. It really was like a movie scene, but far from cliche. There was no picture perfect love story. There was complicated, agonizing feelings that plagued the both of them. But they were.. slipping away. With reconciliation came understanding. And with understanding came love. The love the pair had for each other never left in the first place, but that moment felt like a gathering of every single emotion they could have possibly felt over the year of them knowing each other. Every worry, every doubt and every sleepless night was paired with every butterfly, every smile and every kiss. It felt like a giant weight lifted off Togami’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry angel, I’m so sorry.” Byakuya pressed his forehead against Makoto’s, the brunette removing his head from the taller boy’s chest. 

“I’m sorry..” 

The blond repeated the two words like a mantra as the two of them cried. He finally.. really opened up. What Togami did was awful and self destructive, but he explained his reasoning. And Naegi understood, just like he always did.

“Promise me you won’t push me away again.” Makoto whispered, squeezing his hoodie.

“I promise my love. Please let me prove to you how much I love you.” Byakuya replied, slowly gliding his hands towards Naegi’s cheeks.

Cupping the brunette’s face, they both put a little more pressure on their heads. Not uncomfortably so, but just enough to reassure the other.

“You don’t have to prove anything, don’t worry! It’s okay now.” Makoto sniffled, managing to grin ever so slightly. 

“But I want to. You deserve it.” 

The blond was insisting. He had put Makoto through a lot, and he wanted to make it up to him. 

“Fine, I’ll have to do the same though.” 

Pulling away from their embrace for a split second, Byakuya smiled. Really smiled.

“Of course.” 

Byakuya brought his lips to Makoto’s, connecting them with a sort of caution. He certainly wasn’t scared, but this meant so much to him. The brunette had forgiven him. Even after he had been so disgusting. Togami almost forgot everything that occurred between the two of them as they kissed. Both of them huffed a little, missing the feeling of their noses brushing together. It had been a measly twenty four hours, and neither of them could function properly. As soon as Byakuya got comfortable, he took a sharp inhale before kissing Makoto with all of the passion left in his body. He felt like he was sharing a part of his soul with the boy. Their lips moved in rhythm, Naegi reciprocating the meaningful and heartfelt energy. The air slowly left the blond’s lungs, but he wasn’t planning on pulling away. Their lips meshed together, in the way they were always supposed to. The shorter boy let his mouth drop open just a bit, giving Byakuya more access. The former heir’s lips burned with the sensation of relief. He finally had his love back. A small part of him knew their relationship would never slip away, but knowing and feeling are certainly two different things. Togami felt like the world was ending. Funny how a person so driven by logic and critical thinking would let his emotions take the wheel for a while. They caused Byakuya to do things he never would have dreamed of. Yet here he was, head over heels for the boy he originally described as average. 

“I may have done something..” The blond started, pulling away.

The sudden loss of contact left Makoto in bewilderment, with half-lidded eyes and slightly parted lips. He was so far from average, the most beautiful thing Byakuya had ever seen. 

“Done what?” The other boy asked, grip tightening around Togami’s waist.

“Now don’t overreact, but I went on a run today and I collapsed.”

The former heir knew he wouldn’t listen, no matter what he said.

“Byakuya! You collapsed? Are you okay? What happened?” 

The questions flew at him like darts. What did happen? How was he supposed to explain to the brunette that he ran past the spot they adored so much, and it caused him to faint? Togami’s mind drifted towards Asahina and Kyoko, that was also something he would have to come clean about. He had lashed out at the two girls, insulting one of them. Byakuya never said a word to Kirigiri, Aoi getting the brunt of his frustration. Although they were both angry with him, and rightfully so. The former heir was certain Yasuhiro had also been informed of his outburst. 

“I’m fine angel, I promise. I abstained from eat breakfast, and I went for a run. I passed this spot, and I fainted. Kirigiri and Asahina helped me to the coffeehouse.” 

Makoto let out a relieved sigh, shutting his eyes for a moment. Togami had almost forgotten what it felt like to be worried about. Knowing you have value is an especially odd thing to terms with. 

“What happened then? I feel like there’s a ‘but’ here.” The latter smiled, already anticipating the blond’s stupidity. 

And he was right.

“I lashed out because I was angry. I didn’t say much to Kyoko, but I called Aoi... stupid.” 

That was certainly one way to put it. 

Much to Togami’s surprise, Makoto didn’t say a word. He stood there, silently. Byakuya expected to be cut off, yelled at or even pushed away again. He definitely deserved any sort of punishment coming his way. But the blond should have taken Naegi’s patience into consideration. The boy stood in front of him, a completely relaxed expression painted on his face. He looked like he was listening. Eyebrows raised slightly, eyes widened and lips pursed. Makoto always did that during one of their rambling sessions, the shorter boy didn’t realize he had a listening face. Byakuya slyly pressed a kiss on Naegi’s lips, he couldn’t help himself. Nothing more than a peck, although his timing wasn’t great. The brunette didn’t reciprocate, simply waiting for Togami to continue. It was such an oddly casual thing to do, but the former heir never took it for granted. No matter the situation, kisses between conversations had become a regular occurrence. And that’s what things were slowly slipping back into.

“It was indirectly. I said that if she fell off a building, she’d have to ask for directions.” Byakuya reluctantly admitted, not able to meet the latter’s gaze.

“You seemed really angry, what did she do?” The brunette asked simply.

Togami couldn’t help but let the fact they they were both real people slip his mind. The blond kept forgetting that two of Makoto’s most prominent traits were empathy and understanding. Of course he would want to hear both sides of the story, what was Byakuya thinking? 

“She did nothing that would warrant that type of reaction. She held me accountable for what I did, and I did not want to hear that from anyone else but myself. I was rather cold towards Kyoko as well.” The former heir’s thoughts slowly trailed off, before Makoto’s kindness snapped him back into reality.

“Ah, so you were upset because she called you out.” 

“That’s correct.”

Naegi titled his head to the side.

“What are you going to do now love?” 

“Apologize.” The answer came with no hesitation whatsoever. 

Makoto exhaled a little as he smiled. His grin was warm, and offered solace. 

“There you are!” 

The response Makoto gave solidified their reconciliation. That type of acknowledgement was everything the blond had ever yearned for. He had a personality outside of discrediting others. Byakuya Togami was now the type to apologize for his actions. And that was.. the biggest growth he had ever been through. The former heir could take responsibility and come forwards instead of being silently consumed by guilt and self-loathing. Naegi could always say just what he needed to hear, and make him feel like less of a problem. There was no need for awkward exchanges between him and the people he was inevitably going to hurt. Togami wasn’t destined to a life of complete isolation and solitude anymore. His eyes had been opened to a world he thought was too good to be true. Over the past year he had learned how to have pleasant exchanges with people that weren’t business related. He learned that not everyone gave a shit about Togami, and wanted to know Byakua instead. The blond had cried for the first time in almost ten years, then continued to do so. He had Makoto to thank for everything, the gleaming ray of light in front of him. 

“I’ll apologize in the morning, why don’t we go inside?” Byakuya suggested, slipping his hands onto Makoto’s cheeks.

The brunette nodded swiftly, loosening his grip from the taller boy’s waist. 

“Makoto,” Togami started, running his thumb across Naegi’s cheek. 

The boy lifted his gaze to meet Byakuya’s, smile still firmly planted on his lips. He really believed in him, the blond was sure of that now. 

“I love you. And I won’t leave again.” 

“You’d better not!” Naegi huffed, pretending to look offended. 

His cleanly shaped eyebrows furrowed, viridescent eyes narrowing to glance up at Byakuya once more. If there was one thing Makoto was bad at, it was pretending to be angry. It never lasted for more than a minute, and Togami could crack his facade in an instant. Some things never change, and the former heir was slowly learning that it can be a good thing. 

“Jump on my back sweetheart, I’ll carry you inside.” Byakuya offered, drawing his hands away from the brunette’s face to turn around.

“Wait really? What if I’m too heavy?” 

“Do you think I’m not strong enough?”

There was a small silence that followed Togami’s question, but it was short lived.

“I don’t know, maybe you aren’t.”

“Okay now you’re just asking for it.” The blond huffed, turning on his heel once more.

Before Makoto could protest, his legs were quickly swept off the ground, his arm instinctively swinging around Byakuya’s shoulder. Togami had bent over and picked the other boy up bridal-style. It was all a blur as Naegi’s feet left the grass, immediately being thrown into a cumbersome position. Byakuya couldn’t get enough of the brunette’s shocked expression and frazzled attitude as he was picked up. Byakuya revelled in the equally surprised and noisy sound that came out of Makoto as he was caught off guard. With a small chuckle, Togami wore his signature shit-eating grin. He quite enjoyed startling his boyfriend, he was so easy to fluster. The brunette scrambled to find balance in Byakuya’s arms, gripping his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall over. The former heir continued to laugh at the frazzled and erratic stumbling Naegi was doing in an attempt to not hit the ground. He was perfectly stable, and Byakuya had a good grip, but the boy wasn’t expecting such a quick change of pace. 

“Byakuya!” The boy in his arms cried, finally admitting defeat. 

“Oh please, you walked straight into that.” Togami rolled his eyes, shuffling his position so that Makoto was comfortable.

The two men kept their gaze lingering on the other for a moment. Naegi still had his mouth hung open slightly, eyes flickering with shock. Byakuya on the other hand had a brow cocked, grinning down at the brunette. The corners of Makoto’s lips slowly folded upwards before titling his head back. 

“Onward.” 

“Did you just give me a command?” 

Ironically enough, Togami had already started to walk. This enticed a giggle from Makoto, who let himself relax. The two boys both agreed on calling in sick, they had barely missed workdays anyhow. As Byakuya carried his love past the forest and onto the trail, he couldn’t help but have a scenario flash in his mind. Same place, same time, both dressed to the nines. The more he thought about it, the more the blond wanted the situation to become a reality. The path home resembled an aisle. The moon shining just as brightly, the stars twinkling just a little more. The colours appeared a little more vibrant, and their atmosphere warmed up ever so slightly. It was like time had stopped, and Byakuya hoped the same thing would happen on the faithful day he would carry Makoto down this same strip, with a ring on his finger. The blond couldn’t wait to dip the love of his life at whatever makeshift altar the Future Foundation would throw together, in front of everyone he cared about. Showing the world how in love Byakuya Togami was with Makoto Naegi. The survivors all lined in the front row, clapping as the two of them made promises that would last a lifetime. Naegi’s cheeks flushing from all the attention, Byakuya only adding fuel to the fire. Seeing employees from every branch running post to pillar with a variety of different balloons, streamers and dishes in their hands. All to prepare for the two men to finally be able to declare their love for each other, safely. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Makoto’s question shifted Byakuya to the present once more. The blond hadn’t slipped out of reality just yet, that night was going to become their reality soon enough. As he fixed his not-so cold blue eyes on Naegi, he sighed contently.

“Us.” 

Makoto immediately matched his energy.

“Me too.” 

The quiet that followed was an all-knowing, silent promise. They both had a non-verbal way of communicating, and they were definitely utilizing it. The two of them didn’t have to say a word to have an entire conversation, planning their inevitable unity. Their romantic relationship was still practically brand new, but the year of pining, yearning and wishing spoke for itself. The past month was filled with little moments Byakuya swore only happened in the minds of lovesick school-girls. The blond would never stop having little moments where he thanked the universe for bringing such a bright and positive force into his life, in the form of a soulmate. Someone who complimented his every trait with his own unique flare. Someone who always understood. Togami trusted himself with the brunette. The former heir had so many insecurities and fears surrounding being in a relationship, truly letting himself care for someone. With Naegi, all of the moments they shared seemed to prove his irrational doubts and worries wrong. One particularly steamy encounter would never leave the blond’s mind. 

The first heated interaction of many, the sounds of their heavy breathing began to fill the room. Byakuya’s lips moving in sync with Makoto’s, hands tangled in each other’s hair. They were both an utter mess, although neither of them seemed to care. Togami’s thoughts were moving quicker than he was, there was so many things to consider. Was he doing this right? Was Makoto okay with this? Is he making Naegi feel good as well? The brunette’s lips disconnecting from the former heir’s interrupted his thoughts. The two of them gently fluttered their eyes open for a split second, just to look at the other. The shorter boy’s eyes were half-lidded, hazy and clouded with pure want, mixed with a heavy desire. His lips remained parted, panting slightly as he gazed up at Togami. The brunette was so vulnerable, he trusted Byakuya to be with him like this. The ghost of a whimper that came from Naegi made the blond’s brain short-circuit. He felt an extremely prominent and aggressive spike of.. something. The feeling dug it’s hooks in Byakuya’s stomach, overwhelming his brain with absolutely nothing but the boy below him. And just like that, Togami’s lips where on Makoto’s once more, his desperate hands tracing the boy’s waist. It was the slight moment of hesitation where the two just looked at each other that stuck with the former heir for so long. The moment of reassurance, that there was so much love between them. It wasn’t just useless needs being fulfilled, the two of them were together because they were truly in love, and enjoyed everything that came with that love. 

“I want to make you feel like everything bad that has ever happened in your life happened to someone else.” Byakuya whispered, giving his boyfriend’s shoulder a slight squeeze.

Makoto’s airy laugh rung in the blond’s ears, making his heart beat just for him. 

“You already have.” He replied, leaning his head into Byakuya’s chest. 

Naegi was falling asleep in his arms. He must have been completely exhausted from a day filled with nothing but tears. Even if they were tears of relief near the very end. Makoto was most likely at his emotional limit, quite literally just needing some rest. The brunette’s breathing began to steady as he slowly let his body relax in Byakuya’s arms. The blond adjusted his grip, then continued to walk towards the living quarters. They weren’t far off by that point, but still had a little ways to go. 

“Makoto, are you asleep?” Togami spoke at a regular volume, deciding to disregard his inner voice telling him to whisper.

No response. 

The former heir smiled, titling his head to look at the massive moon illuminating the path in front of them. It was practically a flashlight, washing everything in it’s vicinity in a gentle blue tint. Truly stunning, a perfect night by textbook definition. 

“I am truly in love with you, and everything you’ve taught me. If it weren’t for you pestering me when the two of us met, I would still be the same miserable prick. I cannot fathom the idea of being without you. I am whole on my own of course, and you are the person who made me realize that. Upon spending more time with you however, I simply don’t want to be away from you. You’ve become the person I strive to be Makoto Naegi, you are my hope. Your smile makes me feel things I can’t even begin to describe,” Togami started, letting himself get carried away with his completely random declaration of love. 

“You know, I thought you had ruined my life when I first met you. You made me feel things that I thought I could push away. Shoved to the side until the occasion called for those feelings. But that occasion was you, and I wasn’t expecting it. You made me the most frustrated I have ever been. I was so angry with myself, I had these massive urges to let my guard down with you. And that wasn’t something I could do with anyone. You were different. You are different.” 

Byakuya’s mind was pleasantly greeted with all of the memories him and Makoto had made together upon their first meeting. It was so odd, love had made Byakuya look at the most despairing and traumatic event in his life with a nostalgic gleam in his heart. 

“I love that you still count on your fingers when doing anything related to arithmetic. And the way you cover your mouth when you yawn, trying to look as polite as possible. Your eccentric sneeze that never fails to crack me up. I love your kindness, and the fact that you continue to work on yourself. Your unshakable determination, and your strong-willed personality. You’re as stubborn the day is long Makoto. I want to spoil you with everything I have, but you’ll never turn rotten. I love the way your face lights up when I do something you deem as sweet or romantic.” Togami sighed, wanting to wrap things up and finally sleep next to his lover again.

“I’m rambling, look what you did to me.” The blond laughed. 

“I guess what I’m trying to get across is that I love you. And I promise to never make you feel like you aren’t loved by me again. I was going to swear on my name, but there are more important things in this life than my social status.” Byakuya concluded, as the living quarters became visible. 

There was so much more Togami wanted to say, but when Makoto was awake. The boy in his arms didn’t make a sound, chest rising and falling against Byakuya’s body. They were in hoodies and sweatpants, both of their eyes puffed up and red from all the crying they had done earlier, and all throughout the day. The two of them should have looked at each other with a critical eye, pointing out the eye-bags and dead looking expressions. If it were anyone else, that might as well have been the case. Makoto was always different. The wonder of a boy always seemed to appear radiant, no matter what he did. Gaze always shining with curiosity and understanding, cheeks flushed from the cold. Naegi could have run a marathon, and he would cross the finish line looking like a gift from above. Friendly and welcoming, the first two words that came to mind when thinking of the boy’s appearance. Aside from breathtaking that is. Average was such an ignorant way of describing Makoto, anyone who looked at him for more than three seconds would realize that. Or talked to him or that matter. Byakuya always viewed the people who never gave Naegi a chance as uneducated. Not worth his precious time. Togami was truly in love with Makoto, in every sense of the word. 

As the two of them finally reached the living quarters once more, there wasn’t a person in sight. All of the employees had gone straight to bed, mentally preparing for the week ahead of them. At first glance working at the Future Foundation appeared to be your run of the mill 9-5, but they were restoring the broken pieces of humanity. Rebuilding society, in a new way. Or to put it more accurately, piecing together a strong foundation for the future of the world. Stressful was a gross understatement to describe the feeling of quite literally having the world in your hands. However, the world in Byakuya’s hands was a little different than the one the Future Foundation was trying to rebuild. The world in his hands was simple, but far from simpleminded. Seeming to be completely asleep, Byakuya smiled gently at the sight. Peace and tranquillity radiated from the brunette, being calmer than ever in Togami’s arms. Makoto had told him before that he always slept better in his arms, and he most certainly wasn’t kidding. Naegi was unmoving, but not lifeless. The gentle breaths gained a steady pace overtime, never wavering from their consistent pattern. Three huffs and a sigh, Byakuya had began to count as he pushed open the doors to the living quarters. The now timid blond was going to great lengths to not wake the sleeping man in his arms up. 

Leaning his back against the large grey door, Byakuya quietly pushed it open. He managed to squeeze through the small gap he had made for himself and Makoto with no issues. Thank the lord. The fluorescent lights of the hallway greeted the former heir, causing him to blink a few times to adjust. The change of ambiance wasn’t exactly overwhelming, it felt more artificial than anything. It was nothing like the massive moon and shining stars outside, lighting up their path better than any sort of energy sucking, flickering lightbulbs that resided in the living quarters. Quietly shuffling down the hallway, Byakuya’s arms began to tire. It hit the blond out of nowhere, why hadn’t this been an issue before? Was his mind that warped? Togami had been so occupied with his infatuation for Naegi, that the screaming ache of his forearms seemed to be put on the back burner. Just a little longer. Byakuya trudged onwards, trying his absolute best not to just drop the brunette on the floor. On second thought, that might happen if he continued to walk like that. The former heir reluctantly lowered Naegi onto the ground, waking the other boy up in the process. The shorter boy found his footing, not removing his arm from it’s place around Byakuya’s shoulder once he was standing. 

“I’m sorry, my arms were getting tired.” Togami admitted, his last words airier than usual.

The former heir was drained, to say the least. The events of the day were quickly starting to catch up to him. His legs beginning to hate him for the run, his throat starting to feel sore from all of the screaming and sobbing. Byakuya probably looked like hell. Although, none of that seemed to matter. Makoto was back with him, and the blond had a sneaking suspicion the night ahead would completely wipe away both of their previous concerns. Calling in sick would definitely be a good choice. 

“Don’t be sorry, you made it all the way inside and you didn’t drop me!” Makoto’s reassurance ended with a wide yawn, slowly dragging his feet through the halls alongside Byakuya. 

“I definitely wouldn’t have dropped you.” 

“Of course not! I honestly thought that we’d have to stop halfway through. It’s not that I don’t think you’re strong or anything, it was just a long walk.” The brunette explained.

“You can say it Makoto, you think I’m weak.” 

The two of them were both looking straight ahead, but somehow the blond could hear his boyfriend’s smile.

“That is not what-“

“Oh no it’s fine!” Togami snickered, peering over at Makoto.

The boy sighed, shutting his eyes briefly. His lips were pushed together in effort to display some sort frustration. The attempt fell flat, Togami seeing through Makoto almost instantly. When Makoto Naegi was angry with you, you knew. The regularly cheerful and outgoing boy either fell silent, or told you straight away. The brunette wore his heart on his sleeve, no matter the situation. It had definitely become a good thing, Byakuya being able to realize what someone he cared so much about was thinking and feeling. The little moments where Naegi wore a smile, but was shielding something else. Overtime, Togami was able to just.. know. It was almost like second nature for the two of them, that ability being passed back and forth. Byakuya always being able to tell what he was thinking, and vice-versa. The former heir was always shocked at how quickly his love was able to tell what he was feeling. One face-crack, no matter how small, and the brunette was on him. The blond had pretended to be annoyed by it when they first met, but they both knew that wasn’t the case. Togami let himself laugh a little, knowing Makoto wasn’t really angry with him. 

“Okay I never said you were weak, I just said that it was a long walk and I thought you would have to stop!”

“You think I’m not strong enough to carry you.” 

It was Makoto’s turn to laugh, the brunette loudly exhaling through his nose in an attempt to be as quiet as possible. 

“Byakuya you are strong, and so difficult.” 

The two of them were cackling on the trip back to Byakuya’s room, continuing the light conversation about the former heir carrying Makoto in the future, and how he maybe needed a little more practice. Naegi’s cheeks quickly flushed a wild shade of scarlet at the idea of being apart of the blond’s workout regimen. Push-ups, sit-ups and carrying the shorter boy around for no other reason than to increase the amount of time he could walk with Makoto in his arms for. Well there might have been an ulterior motive for Byakuya wanting to carry the brunette around as ‘practice’, but they would get to that in a little while. The spring maybe, when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Togami couldn’t help but picture the situation once more. The blond let his mind dance around the idea of petals falling around the two of them, having everyone stand and clap when they kiss for the first time. The first time as husbands that is. These little bickering sessions became one of the many Makoto-related highlights in his life. That boy could certainly keep you on your toes, and Byakuya was no exception. Naegi was one of the first people who could banter with Togami. And lighthearted banter as well, not plain insults and snide comments. The former heir felt the warmth return in the pit of his stomach. The warmth from what felt like ages ago. The butterflies that had turned out to be a strong, passionate love. It seemed like Byakuya was still crushing. And oh boy, what a wonderful feeling to have in a relationship. 

The silence that followed another laughing fit from the two of them was filled with comfort and understanding. Silence was never awkward with them, it was refreshing. Makoto being the first to speak again, the quiet was short lived.

“I heard you.” He stated bluntly, smiling fondly. 

“Hm? Heard what?” Byakuya cocked a brow, having a theory of what Makoto was alluding to.

“Outside, when you were carrying me.”

His theory proved to be true.

“How come you didn’t say anything my love?” Byakuya’s curiosity seemed to get the best of him. 

The blond was past over analyzing, the reason Makoto kept quiet had him completely stumped. 

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to start crying again. Even if the tears were good.” 

The former heir chuckled, sneaking a glance at his boyfriend. 

“Byakuya I am in love with you, I always have been. I hope you know that I love you just as much as you love me. When I saw you smile for the first time, my stomach did backflips. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, you finally letting go. You’re safe with me Byakuya, I promise. I knew this was it when it never stopped feeling like a stupid little crush. I still stare at you when you’re reading, and get all embarrassed when you catch me. The thrill of loving you never faded, and it never will. I want to be with you forever. I love you darling, and you make me so happy. When you said I was your hope, I almost opened my eyes. No one’s ever treated me like you have. You made me realize that all of the stuff I’ve seen in bad mangas could actually happen.”

Funny that, Togami was thinking the same thing. Makoto was his movie love. The blond couldn’t fathom Naegi loving him just as much as he did. Unconditionally. Forever and always, and whatever other overused tropes you could think of. Byakuya felt his eyes welling, but he refused to let himself cry again. They were nearing his room, and the former heir could already tell they wouldn’t let go of each other for the next five days afterwards. Everything was alright now, no— so much better than alright. It was perfect again. A perfect that Byakuya trusted this time. There was no more self-sabotage, no more insecurity and he was not going to leave. The two boys were meant to be together. Togami could barely remember a time where Naegi wasn’t around, creeping his way into the blond’s mind one way or another. Byakuya’s head wasn’t a very organized place, despite what most would think. The former heir couldn’t keep a consistent train of thought for very long, unless he was pressured or forced to do so. Slaving over schoolwork, or spreadsheets for the Togami company that were pointless now. Makoto was the first topic in Byakuya’s mind that he quite enjoyed having there. A subject he could ponder, and become incredibly flustered by with the tiniest smile or kind gesture. The boy slid a protective hand around Naegi’s waist, silently assuring him that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“You’ve done the exact same for me. I love you Makoto, truly.”

As the pair reached Byakuya’s room, he detached from Naegi’s gentle embrace.

“Sleep beside me again, won’t you?” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else” 

The reply came without hesitation, much to Togami’s delight. The blond slipped his room key out of his hoodie pocket, sliding it into the door handle. A pair of arms immediately snaked around the blond’s waist, ushering him inside. Upon turning the handle, the two of them waddled into the room. They refused to break the position as the former heir removed the key, shut the door and placed his glasses on the bedside table. The two of them were already in pyjamas, nearly frozen and on the verge of passing out. Naegi briefly let go to rush into bed, throwing the covers to the side as he wiggled underneath them. Byakuya laughed at the brunette’s enthusiasm as he followed suit. As soon as the pair laid in bed, their bodies seemed to draw together like magnets. They faced each other, Byakuya’s long leg resting in between Makoto’s. The blond had a firm arm wrapped around Naegi, while the latter had a hand placed on Togami’s chest. They took a moment for the nth time that night to simply appreciate the other’s presence and beauty. A habit they had picked up over the course of their relationship. Well realistically, as soon as they met. When the luckster with the most chaotic ahoge Byakuya had ever seen walked through those gym doors, the two of them could ever seem to tear their eyes off of each other. Makoto was captivating, such a gorgeous sight. Togami was enthralled from the very beginning. 

Leaning close, Byakuya placed several gentle kisses on Makoto’s face. Starting with his forehead, the blond moved onto the tip of his button nose. Continuing with Naegi’s freckles, or most of them. The brunette giggled at the gesture, letting Togami continue. After a little while of planting gentle kisses on every square inch of Naegi’s face, he pulled away. The love of his life was finally in his arms again, for good this time. Leaning in was mutual, meeting halfway between both of their pillows. Both of them seemed to inhale as their lips connected, still processing the whirlwind of a day they had. The kiss was fuelled by exhaustion, as ironic as it sounded. Their breathing became louder, the air slowly being sucked out of their lungs. How they could possibly be out of breath from laying down was a mystery. Could the events of the day be catching up to them physically all at once? Byakuya’s everything was aching as he leaned into Makoto for salvation. Their tongues swirled together in a desperate attempt to get closer. Naegi’s legs gradually began to squeeze Togami’s thigh, anything to be as close to each other as possible. Togami opened his mouth to grant the brunette more access, and he happily obliged. 

The kiss was lazy, needy and so relieving. There wasn’t anything better than having one of the longest, most emotionally draining days of your life, then coming back to the person you love most. Every part of Byakuya’s brain mushed into a passionate haze as he moved his tongue in the brunette’s mouth. Nothing else mattered, and he never wanted it to matter again. His slender fingers dancing across the keyboard of his office computer, trying to make sense of spreadsheets that he had looked over for the millionth time. The meetings that never failed to bore Byakuya out of his skull, discussing the same thing as the last monthly get-together. The screeching ache of the blond’s forearms as he tirelessly ran stacks of paper up and down the office hallways from one room to the other. All things that normally would have completely wiped away any good thoughts knocking at the door of Byakuya’s mind. Work stress, to put it simply. However, when the boy he was connected at the hip with gasped into his mouth, Togami’s desk job took a damned seat. The pair had given each other pieces of their souls. Everything from traumatic events to favourite colours were all present.

Within a year, Byakuya and Makoto knew each other inside and out. 

Yet somehow, the spark and excitement of their relationship never faded. 

The blond slowly slipped away from their kiss, earning a disappointed huff from Makoto. Burying his head into the crook of Naegi’s neck, he giggled. The vibrations sent chills through the brunette’s spine, causing him to shiver. Byakuya let his face rest for a moment, taking everything in. The feeling of the blond’s nose brushing against the soft skin of Makoto’s neck, the sound of their breath synchronizing. Togami’s lips brushed against the brunette’s collarbone, making his chest tingle with excitement. Or maybe excitement wasn’t the right term. Maybe it was pure, unadulterated, passionate love. When Byakuya was with Makoto, colours seemed to appear a little brighter. Food tasted better, work went by a little faster, and life was.. better. The steady flow of happiness was something Byakuya would never get used to, no matter how much love Makoto showed him. He would always thank the other boy for being himself, and letting Togami be safe. 

“I’m staying with you, forever.” Byakuya whispered, gradually moving his lips next to Naegi’s ear. 

“Forever and always.” Makoto replied, slipping his fingers between a strand of Togami’s blond hair.

His face stay buried there, lips pressed against Naegi’s ear. Byakuya was never the type to whisper sweet nothings, or anything for that matter. He was loud and stern no matter what he said, but Makoto changed a lot of things for the better. The former heir learned to speak quietly, and strategically when needed. Although any sort of strategizing wasn’t necessary with the brunette, just raw emotion and honesty. Togami painted pictures of their countless dates, and the little moments that made him fall in love. He spoke about their witty banter, nights shared in the same bed and times where things seemed to move in slow motion. Byakuya told Makoto that he was the most beautiful work of art he had ever seen, and spared no detail about symbolism and such. In other words, Togami was telling Naegi just how much he loved him. The former heir was under the impression that he had whispered the boy to sleep, until he turned his head, leaned into Byakuya’s neck and did the exact same thing. The two of them lost track of time, only focused on the feeling of their fingertips brushing together under the heavy blankets, and the excitable shivers from someone speaking softly into your ear. As Togami’s eyes began to grow droopy, he tightened his grip around the other boy’s waist. Makoto let his head lull backwards onto the pillow, facing the blond once more. Byakuya didn’t realize how much he had missed the sight of his boyfriend’s sculpted, freckled face before eventually drifting off. 

Byakuya’s eyes fluttered open to a sight he most definitely would never take for granted. Makoto’s brown locks sprawled over the pillow he was sleeping on, lips slightly parted. The boy was still fast asleep, presumably exhausted from the day prior. The brunette was breathing from his nose, the pattern of his inhalations could have put Togami right back to sleep. Peaceful was the first word that came to mind when looking at Naegi, you don’t have a care in the world when you’re unconscious. The former heir watched as his love’s chest rose and fell, stirring ever so slightly once every few minutes. The whole situation was so utterly... human. Being asleep next to your lover, having them silently watch over you, blissfully unaware. There was a sense of security in their embrace, watching over the other was a silent promise to keep each other safe. The boy next to him was ethereal, eyelids droopy yet perfectly shielding the mossy green irises that hid behind them. Naegi’s eyes told stories of a beautiful tragedy, reshaped into a hopeful future. The verdant shade of them became all the more vibrant when the boy was able to see the beauty in the life around him. One of the many talents of Makoto Naegi, making the best out of any situation. He wore his heart on his sleeve, which was something Byakuya eventually began to perceive as strength as opposed to foolish vulnerability. His eyes definitely showcased what was going on in his mind, it was beautiful in a soft way.

Speak of the devil.

With a scrunch of his nose and a sniffle, Makoto blinked a few times to clear his vision. Byakuya couldn’t help but give him a warm smile, he wouldn’t want to spend his mornings any other way. The other boy brought his hands to his still tired eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. 

“Goodmorning, sweetheart.” Byakuya cooed, leaning forward to greet his half-asleep boyfriend. 

Moving his small hands away from his face, a smile began to form on Naegi’s face. He happily reciprocated Byakuya’s affection, leaning into his kiss. The blond slipped a hand to the boy’s cheek, gently caressing his face as they shared a lovely morning together. A morning Togami wanted to relive countless times. As memories from the night before finally started to register in the former heir’s mind, he slowly pulled away. 

“Are we still calling in sick today?” Makoto asked groggily, beating him to the punch.

“Are you kidding? I’d rather be here with you than sit and rot at my desk all day.” Byakuya replied, jokingly rolling his eyes.

This earned a less-sleepy laugh from Makoto, who turned onto his back. The brunette stretched his arms out above him, arching his back to the ceiling. A groan escaped his lips before turning back towards Togami. The former heir’s jaw dropped into a large yawn, something that he would never let anyone else see. Byakuya’s yawn was rather dramatic, eyes watering and a loud noise projecting from his mouth. Naegi giggled at the action, sighing as the blond’s jaw finally closed. He was going to ask the boy what was so funny, but it occurred to him that he probably looked like a squawking bird when he yawned. In turn, he laughed along. The silence in the morning that followed their brief greetings was always comfortable. Byakuya found solace in the quiet, simply being able to enjoy the other’s presence. As the blond reluctantly sat up, Makoto followed suit. The two of them were picking up each other’s habits, lingering under the covers for a little longer before finally deciding to get up. Togami discarded the grey covers keeping him warm, a shiver travelling from the base of his neck down his spine as he did so. It was freezing in the living quarters, even with a hoodie and sweatpants on. 

“‘M cold.” Makoto murmured, peering over at Byakuya on the opposite side of the bed.

“C’mere” Byakuya chuckled, reaching his arms out.

The brunette shuffled around the large bed, practically falling into his boyfriend’s arms. Togami had been standing straight up, and let Naegi’s figure lean all of it’s weight onto his chest. The shorter boy’s forehead was pressed in the centre of Byakuya’s clavicle, leaning forwards as he slipped his arms around the blond’s waist. Byakuya’s hand found it’s way to the nape of Naegi’s neck, massaging it like he usually did. The other boy’s relived sigh was music to Byakuya’s ears, ringing through his head like a song. Their moment seemed to be spoiled by the loud, abrupt growling of Byakuya’s stomach. The former heir seemed to have forgotten the hunger dwelling silently, building up from a lack of food the night before. Makoto’s laughter was absolutely contagious, sending a soft chill through Togami’s body. That, mixed with the significantly low temperature of his room. Before pulling away, the blond slipped a few fingers under the sleeve of his boyfriend’s hoodie. The texture of his arm was ragged, irregular and frankly unpleasant. 

“Goosebumps babe?” Byakuya asked, finally slipping away from his embrace.

“Told you I was cold!” Makoto sniffled, shaking his arms out a little so his sleeves stretched past his hands.

“We should probably get going, we might miss breakfast if we don’t. I’m sure it’ll be warmer in the cafeteria.” 

This earned a shaky chuckle from Makoto, who was still shivering. The fabric draping over his tiny figure shrank him even more so than his regular clothes did, and the sweater paws made that even more apparent. The brunette shuffled his feet next to one another, shifting his weight back and forth to get some sort of warmth from the friction. Byakuya wanted to kiss him until he was warm again, which is definitely something the two of them could do when they returned. Without a second thought, Togami turned to bend down behind him. Reaching for Makoto’s shoes, he gently tossed them to the boy waiting at his side. Not long after, the blond slipped on his own shoes, not bothering to change out of his hoodie and sweatpants. Today marks the first day anyone would be able to see him this casual, other than his beloved, of course. As the tall boy regained his balance and straightened his back, he felt a timid digit running along the back of his hand. Tossing a glance over his shoulder, there Naegi stood. By his side, like he always promised he would. The brunette gazed idly, for no other reason than to stare. His plush lips were curved into a smile, waiting to exit the room. With a content sigh, Byakuya turned the handle.

Just as expected, the hallway was buzzing with employees preparing for the busy Monday ahead of him. Byakuya and Makoto stuck out like sore thumbs, sporting pyjamas and unkept messes of hair. Despite the bustling atmosphere of the building on the dim autumn morning, no one gave a second though to the pair. One of several reasons Togami quite liked crowds, losing himself in them always brought him solace. Who knew that losing yourself with another person could fuel that strange emotion of positive emptiness even more? The blond gave Naegi’s hand a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement, before beginning to weave his way through the endless sea of Future Foundation workers. One thing the former heir never understood was not separating the living quarters by what branch you worked in. Although, a little traffic never seemed to bug Togami as much as it used to. A certain positive force in his life encouraged him to find that spark of hope in seemingly dismal situations. As the two of them reached the cafeteria doors, Makoto gave the taller man a nod of encouragement. Another non-verbal cue shared between the two of them, one that speaks volumes through deafening silence. 

Pushing them open, Byakuya’s hand slipped out of Makoto’s. The cafeteria seemed almost bare, that infamous middle table being the only occupied place in the entire kitchen. And seated comfortably there was none other than the two girls Togami had lashed out at. Kyoko was the first one to meet his eyes, and held contact until the other members sitting at the table were prompted to look over from the sound of the doors closing. There the two of them stood, awkwardly glued to the floor. Aoi shot him what could only be described as a death glare, which the blond had to understand to some degree. Yasuhiro appeared to be as oblivious as always, letting out a confused grunt at the immediate halt to any conversation. After clearing his throat, Makoto was the first one to break the silence. He smiled as wide as he possibly could, cocking his head towards the table. Byakuya sighed, having no other choice but to oblige. Might as well get it over with, right? 

“Good morning guys!” Makoto cheered, smacking both hands down cleanly on the table. 

The sound echoed throughout the quiet cafeteria, it would have made Byakuya worry it weren’t for Aoi’s shared enthusiasm. She immediately piped up, starting a lively conversation about how glad she was about Makoto being out and about again. Although she did ask about his attire, to which he told her about him and Byakuya calling in sick. The brown haired girl shot Togami a glance, nodded her head and immediately turned back to Makoto. It felt like a slap in the face, and it was most likely meant to be. The blond could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he wanted out.

“I’m going to prepare breakfast for myself.” Byakuya called, a few steps away from the table.

Naegi shot him an apologetic glance before replying.

“That’s okay! I know what you want from the buffet, so why don’t you sit down? I’ll get you your breakfast.” The brunette suggested, nodding towards the table once again.

Kyoko, Aoi and Yasuhiro’s eyes were all on him at that moment. He knew better than refuse, and he had to muster up the courage to apologize at some point.

“Very well, thank you Makoto.” 

The blond gave his boyfriend a quick peck before he scurried away to fetch breakfast for the two of them. Not able to meet anyone’s dagger gaze, Byakuya opted for looking straight ahead. He swung a leg over the bench, finally sitting down across from the three other survivors. The tension in the air was thicker than it was in the coffee shop, Kirigiri slurping her tea being the only saving grace. He made the mistake of peering at the girls sitting in front of him, only to be met with Aoi’s frustrated scowl. The former heir was never this timid, but he wasn’t a lot of things before he met Makoto. And one of those things was happy, so it was certainly give and take. So to be slightly... nervous about confrontation was definitely a brand new feeling. Kyoko elegantly placed her teacup back on it’s saucer, making a small clattering noise. Not even Hagakure had something to say, which was certainly a rare occurrence. Togami needed to get it over with, the guilt was extremely prevalent from the situation. But what on God’s green earth could he possibly say to explain himself? Although the blond was willing to indulge in that train of thought, it was cut off from Asahina’s abrupt inhale.

“Why even bother sitting here Togami? I thought-“

“I’m sorry.” 

Byakuya blinked and the entire mood shifted miles away from what it was before. Kyoko’s brows raised ever so slightly, Yasuhiro and Asahina exchanging shocked glances. Aoi’s vibrant blue eyes widened, her lips parting slightly.

“Huh?”

Togami immediately felt himself become embarrassed, huffing as he pretended to wipe something off his shirt.

“What..?

Not a great start, however Byakuya was rather new to being able to apologize. Maybe being defensive wasn’t the best route. 

“Listen, I’m going to say this once and once only, because I really mean it.”

Kirigiri seemed amused by his statement, smiling a little as she clasped her hands. Asahina and Yasuhiro really were birds of a feather, sharing nearly identical looks of bewilderment. 

“Asahina, I have a lot of respect for you. You are most certainly not stupid, far from it actually. You were able to see things that I couldn’t, make connections with people that should have lasted a lifetime. Kyoko, I’m sure you’re already aware of my thoughts on you, but I figure I might as well repeat myself. You are incredibly intelligent, and your detective skills are impressive.” 

Mid sentence, Makoto returned with both of their trays. The brunette placed a small kiss on the blond’s head before taking a seat next to him, encouraging him to continue what he was saying. He slid Byakuya’s tray over to him, and placed his own in his spot. Once the boy was settled, he placed his head in his hand, staying silent. 

“I was extremely angry, but I’m sure you could discern that from my childish outburst. I took what Naegi and I were dealing with out on the both of you, and that was... unfair. I’m embarrassed that I ever let myself act in such a disgusting manner, I lost control. I can assure you something like that will never happen again, I won’t let it.”

The blond took a deep breath, finally looking back at the girls in front of them.

“I hope you can find it in yourselves to forgive me.” 

A part of Byakuya was expecting another slap, but was pleasantly surprised to find a shocked looking Aoi with a dumbfounded smile. She certainly was not obliged to forgive him, nor would he blame her if she didn’t. Kyoko on the other hand was equipped with her signature all-knowing gaze, still keeping that gentle smile. A comfortable silence fell between the five of them, acting as a safety blanket from anything else that could’ve ruined their relationships any further. No words were uttered, but everything was out on the table. Byakuya gave them a genuine apology, and it seemed to be extremely effective. Even Makoto looked proud, smiling with half-lidded eyes, either from exhaustion or simply because he was deep in thought. Togami felt an overwhelmingly powerful emotion blind his senses, although he couldn’t describe what it was. It was positive.. but that’s about everything he could pick out. Just as he was about to pick up his fork, a certain fortune teller spoke up.

“What am I then?” Hagakure had a smile plastered across his face, pretending to be offended wasn’t working.

No one quite understood what he meant, and Byakuya’s guess was as good as anyone else’s.

“I was apologizing to them for things I said.”

“Can you apologize to me so I can hear something nice too?” 

As if on cue, the remaining survivors erupted into a fit of laughter. This resulted in a very confused looking Yasuhiro, who frantically tried to explain himself. Makoto clamped a hand over his mouth, placing the other on Byakuya’s knee. The blond immediately placed his hand overtop, trying to stifle a burst of laughter threatening to come out. The former heir caught a glimpse of Kyoko trying to hide her expression by taking a sip of her tea, only for it to be choked on when Hagakure said he felt left out. Asahina banged a fist on the table, mumbling incoherent nonsense about making everyone feel included, giggling uncontrollably. Byakuya tried to speak up, only to be hit with that urge to let go right then and there. And so, with this new growth, he did. Hagakure joined in, eventually admitting defeat. Their laughter echoed throughout the cafeteria, filling the silence with a joy-filled energy. As the bubbly atmosphere eventually fizzled out, the light tone of the room still remained. That was something Togami was eternally grateful for, everything slowly setting back in. The blond ran his thumb along the side of Makoto’s hand, engaging in the lively chatter of his former classmates. Why did he not indulge in these types of conversation sooner? He was having... fun. Still keeping his aloof persona, Byakuya finally began to loosen up a little. He was accompanied by the unconditional love of his boyfriend, and now had a group of people who didn’t want anything from him. There was no ulterior motives among his friends, he was sure of that now. No one was scheming his inevitable demise, but encouraging his success instead. And seemingly out of nowhere, the guilt Byakuya Togami had been holding in his heart for so long was finally beginning to fade. Maybe after a little more time, it would be gone completely. There was definitely a word for what he was feeling both earlier and currently, and he could finally put his finger on it.

It was relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the end to this fic!! not to worry, i’ll be starting another large multi-chapter project sometime soon. this isn’t the last of me! 💕


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